Same sex marriage........why not?

[ladylottie]

Guess I just came out to you all

It was only a matter of time Di

[FionaH]

Honey there is nothing wrong with love. Those of us who have known love are priveleged. I am so sorry that your parents are hurt and confused. In time I hope they will come to realise that there are a lot worse things you could tell them.
Can I suggest a hot bath, choccy biccies and bed? It won't change your parents but it is my cure all answer for feeling carp. Big hugs xx

[Hilary B]

I'd love to see the 'civil partnership' idea replace non-church marriage, for any couple regardless of the gender mix, then we wouldn't have questions about whther a one-gender relationship was MARRIAGE (which it isn't).
While I believe it is long past time for the Christian church to accept that if 2 people love each other, and plan to remain faithful, that CANNOT be wrong, and nor is it any business of anyone else what they do about it, marriage is husband and wife, one of each.
It's only the word I object to (and the possibility of the law trying to force the church to do what many within it still feel is wrong), the basic idea is totally right.
Religion shouldn't be dictating to the law, but nor should the law be dictating to religion, beyond BANNING practices which can impinge on those who are not willing participants.
BTW, the older laws of this land WERE founded on Christian principles, even if those same principles (or a lot of them) could be found elsewhere, the 'elsewhere' isn't how they arrived in our laws.

[veggiechicken]

Love is never bad, Di. Its when someone is incapable of love that there's something missing in their life. Cherish what you had or have, don't let anyone take that away from you by thoughtless words and actions. Love for another is what makes us special, remember that.

[Hilary B]

Quote Originally Posted by di View Post
Something I didn't realise until a couple of weeks ago, and I may still have got it wrong(?), apparently a 'straight' couple can't have a civil partnership, so the inequality works both ways.
We didn't get married in a church (I'm fairly anti-religion of any kind, and didn't want to be hypocritical), we got married in a hotel... I thought that was a civil ceremony - is that not the same as a civil partnership??

It should be, but it isn't.

[Hilary B]

I think it does and doesn't...sorry

I was brought up in a Strict Baptist family, from quite a young age I started to question some of the hypocrosies I encountered. Also, struggled with why 'my' faith got me to heaven yet another religion's, equally strong, faith didn't.

My parents still have a very strong Christian faith, although now attend a Cof E church, I have nothing but respect for them and sometimes envy, their worries are in God's hands. However, and this really is not meant to cause offence to anyone, just food for thought. I always thought that one of the biggest teachings of the Bible is to not judge, that's God's job. ' Let thee that hath no sin throw the first stone'. Jesus bathed the feet of a prostitute!

Throughout all my life, my parents have been the kind of Christians I'm proud of. Never judged. My best friend n my twenties was a heroin addict/alcoholic with a young daughter, they did nothing but support, encourage and welcome her. Betwqeen me and my sisters, they've been there through everything...one sister has had multiple relationships since divorcing about eight years ago, I shoplifted laxatives from their local co op in my bullimic days, my other sister had an affair whilst married, they were all accepted (if that's the word), we certainly were never judged.....until I got a girlfriend....sorry. It's hurt so bad! What exactly is so wrong with it...why is it worse than promiscuity, why is it worse than theft? why is it worse than envying what your neighbour has? Just why?

Because they grew up in a less flexible age, but they have missed the important point (and THE law of Christianity, to LOVE). They simply can't understand and probably are a bit afriad (even if they don't realise this). Maybe in time they will accept it, I hope so, for their sakes as well as yours.

[ladylottie]

Well done Di, brave girl

I am a Christian, I believe in God, go to church sometimes.......God loves me, I heard tell he loves everybody.

My marriage is my business, anyone elses marriage is theirs. Thankfully I am NOT God so it is not my job to judge the rights or wrongs of anyone elses choices.

I don't think any Vicar should be compelled to perform a ceromony that is against their conscience however.

Yes the bible says that same sex sexuality is a sin, it also says that eating shellfish is an abomonation, Leviticus ch11 v12.

Yes, I am a Christian too, a firm believer for the last 21 years and I agree with what you say Fiona that God loves all of us equally. But I don't think that a vicar should have to perform any ceremony which goes against their conscience or belief. Di, I don't think they would be judging anyone, they would just be doing their job according to what they read and believe from scripture.

Having said that, I respect others feelings and beliefs because everyone has the right to choose for themselves.
I'm really glad too that I am not God - I wouldn't want to judge anyone for doing what they feel is right or acceptable.

[FionaH]

Shame you can't hit "like" more than once! I'm off to bed, make sure none of you eat any shellfish whilst I'm gone or there will be trouble

[di]

Sorry for going on. I know I've had a couple of alcohol influenced posts in the past...this is a thought out, school night one.

Love is never bad. Love is two people coming together and loving one another. If I'm honest, the cause of my quite blatant breakdown was, the knowledge that I was the happiest I had ever been in life, yet that happiness was causing so much upset to two of the people I'd never want to hurt.

My parents are amazing people, just their faith has led them to believe that my 'choice' is so wrong. I had an hour of my 'strong' Dad in tears to me on the phone....again, I ask, anyone that has an issue....exactly why? Not to cause grievance on the Vine, not to put you on the spot...just for me and the many more 'mes' out there. What exactly are we doing sao wrong to be judged and condemned?

I truly believe that the strong belief put into my parents head, contributed to me no longer having that love....why?

[di]

Shame you can't hit "like" more than once! I'm off to bed, make sure none of you eat any shellfish whilst I'm gone or there will be trouble

Night Hun....and any female caught wearing nylon can join those eating shellfish....or pork! xx

[ladylottie]

Because they grew up in a less flexible age, but they have missed the important point (and THE law of Christianity, to LOVE). They simply can't understand and probably are a bit afriad (even if they don't realise this). Maybe in time they will accept it, I hope so, for their sakes as well as yours.

Di, I could see it how it would be difficult for your family to come to terms with you being gay, especially if they are trying to live their lives according to the bible. But I agree that because the basis of Christianity is to love (and to forgive) then I hope that in time they will come to accept you for how you choose to live your life. They probably feel hurt and are out of their depth, not realising how much you are being hurt too by their reaction. It must have come as quite a shock, so give them time, they still love you.

[di]

Sorry Newton, I seem to have hijacked your thread.

Thanks LL, I know they still love me and I love them. All is almost good.xx

Think I might get off to bed now. To anyone I may have offended, my intentions were thought, not offence.

Please all, practice the love that the Bible teaches and leave the judging to God....Jesus managed it when he bathed the feet of a prostitute...... xxx

[di]

Reading back, I hope that doesn't come across as me having a problem with prostitutes. My point is, I've always considered that the 'writers' of the Bible chose prostitution as they though it something the majority would see as wrong....and when I say 'writers', I don't necessarily mean story writers. ...Gosh, I really am going to bed now. xx

[veggiechicken]

Good night Di. If its any help, I love everyone.. though not in the physical sense or I'd be exhausted!!

[Newton]

A couple of points if you don't mind.......

I am so glad we have had an open honest debate. Not controversial because as I hoped, we are all capable of accepting change is not necessarily a bad thing. I think that modern man overwhelmingly adapts to their environment. It is only controlling parties with vested interests that upset the apple cart it seems to me.

Di. I so hope that you and your family and new love can find a way forward. You deserve that happiness to go on and on...