I've bought a wood!

[donnakebab]

Good morning my ladies. Me thinks we need to set up some facilities for washing of the undergarments.

Is there a suitable pool nearby that is fed by the stream? Natural soap would refresh our garments and leave the ecosystem intact.

I spilt some ale down me cleavage yesterday.

[veggiechicken]

Good morrow Lady Lottie. I have but yesterday sown seeds of Woad but I fear it will be some while before they can be gathered for dyeing.
Good Much did arrange a special brew of Greene King to aid the Miserable Jester in his recovery but I fear that the Master Brewer's own Ale - the Red Stocking reflects his own desires - 'tis a potent brew!

[ladylottie]

Now thems what I call tights.

Tuck

Hang on, Friar - I'm spinning and weaving them as fast as I can! There's a lot of you and I haven't had all your measurements yet I'm also running out of Woad and Dyer's Broom and they don't grow in the woods so if anyone sees any while they're out and about pick me a basketful please. This Lincoln Green is hard to get right
Has the brewer made any Lincoln Green Ale yet?

[veggiechicken]

Good morrow to you Herbalist. We have earwigs aplenty in the wood. Mayhap you have some specially trained for the cleansing of orifices?
I believe the Hostler did freely imbibe last night and would appear to be in repose e'en now.

[Peas'n'Kews]

Olive oil or any other oil (apart from Engine oil) should do it. Put some in, block your ear with cotton wool and sleep on it. Try again tomorrow when it will have softened up.
Meanwhile, have another glass or three to take your mind off it. Oh, and be very grateful that none of the wise women are around. they probably have trained spiders that could crawl in and haul the bud out

My recommendation was to be earwigs - they surely are the creatures of the ear and should remove obstructions therefrom.

I further recommend potions of alcohol and water (well, mixer of choice) to numb the appendage and allow restful repose.

[veggiechicken]

Me too.......Don't have too many Little John Smiths.........

Goodmorrow to you Bigmallly the Fletcher. I see thou hast learnt that one can have too much of a good thing. We will ask the Master Brewer to brew some small ale which we will name Little John beer for those with delicate constitutions.

[veggiechicken]

Good Day to you Mistress Feral. Methinks you are a welcome addition to our Merry Band for we had sore need of a Nurse yestereve. Our Miserable Jester has been laid low with a touch of the loose green stuff on the chest while the cack-handed Hostler managad to lose something in 'er lug'ole.
The Senior Serving Bitter wench did bring forth her set of surgical tools but we were in need of a deft hand to assist with the extraction of the offending object. methinks your skills as Midwife would have been most desirable. Welcome to the cast Nurse and midwife Feral - thou are well named for a life in the wood.

[veggiechicken]

The Cast List - All you need to know
Robin Hood - Pa Snips ............ Little John - HeyWayne,
Maid Marian - Me of course .......... Maid Marian's lady's maid - Lottie Dolly
BigMallly the Fletcher - the Gorilla. ......... Friar Tuck - Potstubsdustbins
Much the Miller's son - Bearded Bloke
Will Stutely - MrBadExample .......... Will Scarlet - Newton - camping in a red wig
King Richard the Lionheart - DGoulston............ The miserable Jester - Cardiff Steve
Sheriff of Nottingham - madasafish ....... The Executioner - Taff the Axe
Master Brewer at the Red Thorn Tavern - Red Thorn (House Ale - Red Stocking)
Mistress Quickly of the Tavern - Virgin Veg Grower
Bringer of the Brains Bitter Wench - Nicos............ Buxom Wench - OverWyreGrower.
Buxom Old Crone Serving Wench, scavenger and a bit of a witch - Donnakebab
Merry Maid and Wenches - Mandyballantyne & Moo's Mum
Chief Cook and Bottle washer - Binley ..............Buxom Kitchen Wench - Jeanied
Herbalist and Merry man (archers) - Peas'n'kews and Mr P'n'K
Lady Lottie the spinner and weaver - Lady Lottie
Falconer Wench - Mothhawk ............ Local Peasant - Bren in Pots
Gypsy Wench Bearing - Zazen
Hostler and 'untsperson - Glutton4......
Nurse and Midwife - Feral007

Still recruiting : Allan A'Dale - a Roving Minstrel, Arthur a Bland - a Poacher
David of Doncaster - a wrestler, lots of Merry men, Minstrels and wenches. Desperate for Minstrels! Wodger the Shrubber and an old Crone. Hermit, Optician (Yeah I know!!) and some baddies - the Sheriff's men! Tax collectors (boo, hiss).

[Bigmallly]

I have a good homeopathic remedy for hangovers.............

Me too.......Don't have too many Little John Smiths.........

[Feral007]

Honestly people! I can't read as fast as you can write. I only got up to page 11 so get Taff to chop my head off if I'm out of date. I cant believe you only started drinking on page 11 and here you are stonkered by page 36 - where is your stamina for goodness sakes!

I'll just whisper now since I'm sure you're all hungover. Congratulations VC! A wood! I have the Bush (I am not going to say I have a bush because those jesters will be hooting over that!) Old trees even! Sounds very cool.
Now I am a nurse and a homeopath - so I would be able to remove buds from ears - if some crafty wench had a crochet hook handy. But if both those positions are taken, then I am also a midwife - and from the sounds of all the wenching going on there'll be a need for at least one midwife! But all the babies will have to be born during the day because I want to be having fun in the evening!

I have a chainsaw. And I could bring the kelpies and they could run howling thru the dark woods.

And just imagine being able to walk in the wood summer and winter. And not take the snake bandages with you! Now that is what I call a good wood!

Edited to add: I have a good homeopathic remedy for hangovers.............

[zazen999]

TIME!
Gentleman please.



AKA - get thee to bed as I'm Friar Tucked out.

I'll leave the pots for Much, I hear he has form.

[Nicos]

Well, goodly woodland folk. I appear to have a problem with my ear. I bathed in the river, soaked my aching bones, washed my locks, an' all other parts too. Then, whilst drying out my ear'oles I inadvertently lost the end of a cotton bud!

T'is OK though, I can hear out t'other ear'ole.

*Sups a medicinal Grin an' tonic.

Don't appear to have a crochet 'ook 'andy...

Here- you may pick a surgical instrument from the First Aid box.... ( 'elf n safety n all that! )

[veggiechicken]

Sleep well amongst your animals. For thou art assured of warmth and company, while I dream alone beside the dying embers.....

[Glutton4...]

*Clinks glass...

Cheers me Hearties! The animals are all a-snorin' an' I think it's about time I joined 'em!

I wish thee verily good night, and may the woodland faeries help you sleep soundly and safely till the morrow.

[veggiechicken]

It must have been quite earie, Ostler! Glad you're sorted as you need to be alert, with the hounds at the ready, in case the Sheriff should appear.... Meanwhile, lets raise another glass.. Hic!!