My beautiful little Grandmother (sorry gang, I'm pouring my heart out)

[lottie dolly]

thoughts are with you becki,brings back memories of sitting with my late mam,it's the only time i have been with anyone till the last light goes out,the hospital staff are so good,we were not left alone during the last moments,they were telling us what was happening ext,a peacefull calm comes over as they fall asleep,
all the best to you all,

[jackie j]

Several years ago I had a girlfriend whose father had cancer. About a year into our relationship his condition worsened and I stayed with the family in his hospice room for the night, he passed away in the morning with us all there.
Whilst I'm not with her anymore, and I had never met her father before his illness (when he had always been on such a high dose of morphine he'd never really known who I was), and whilst it was an incredibly sad moment; I was amazingly priveleged to be there and to spend that time with them. It is something that I will never forget, and have never had the opportunity to repeat with any member of my own family who has passed away.

At the time my mum sent her a poem, I can't find it, but it bares a similar resemblance to this:

I stand upon the ocean shore.
As a ship at my side opens her sail
to the morning breeze and begins to glide
across the water blue.

She is a beautiful sight.
I stand and watch her as she glides
with grace and strength into the clouds
on the horizon.

Just where the sky and the ocean meet
and come to mingle with one another.
When I hear someone cry out,
"She is gone." and I must turn and say to them,
"Yes, but gone only from sight."

For within the mind and heart she can always be found.
For life is eternal,
Love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon,
and a horizon is nothing save the limits of our sight.

Ollie thanks for putting that on it was read out at my sisters funeral and I have been looking for it ( not very hard I must admit. )

[OllieMartin]

Ollie thanks for putting that on it was read out at my sisters funeral and I have been looking for it ( not very hard I must admit. )

I have to admit there was one more verse, but I prefered it without as that last line sums up the point in the whole poem for me.

Glad you like it too.

[snuffer]

Pumpkin Becki I was so sorry to read your sad news. Not a lot I can say really. Just to let you know that you and yours are in our thoughts.

Take care.

[rustylady]

Oh Becki, so sad. Try to remember the good times. It's sad to lose loved ones, but they do live on in your heart and your memories.

[Seamus]

my thoughts are with u, i have lost both sets of grandparents and it is heartbreaking, cause when your young they have all d answers, and when they r gone you feel lost, but remember that they live on in spirit, u will remember what they have taught u, and its priceless information.

[Flummery]

So sorry to hear this. It must be hard for you with your Dad being away too. These old ladies are real toughies - my 88 year old Ma is made of the same stern stuff, but eventually people wear out. I'm thinking of you all.

Love,

Flum

[Pumpkin Becki]

Thank you all again for your kind words and support, you are all wonderful people. I cannot thank you enough.

Ninny is still with us this morning, we stayed with her til late last night, and my brother is there again today. We just hope my Dad will make it back in time.

I thought I'd tell you a bit about her life (if you don't mind)...

She was born in 1915 and lived in Bromley. Her Father (GoGo) was a market gardener, and had a stall at Covent Garden. Ninny's brother wasn't interested in the family business, and GoGo didn't think it was right for a lady to work in Covent Garden, so he wouldn't even entertain the idea of her taking it over from him. Instead, she trained to be a nurse, and worked at Joyce Green Hospital in Dartford during the 2nd World War, where she looked after hundreds of injured servicemen. One night, there was an emergency, and she hadn't time to dress properly, so she put her uniform dress on over her pajamas. You can guess what happened next...her pajama trouser legs rolled down in the middle of handing over the patient to the doctor!! I think he asked her out on a date after that if memory serves me right.

Then after my mother was born, she became a private nurse working for a Doctor in Bromley (Dr Pitpain - I've just remembered). One night, she was called out to the home of a 20 stone man who had fallen over in his kitchen. All the family stood and watched while she lifted him all on her own (5ft1" and only about 7st!!), onto a chair. 'Shouldn't he be in bed nurse?' said one of the family. 'If you think I'm going to carry him up those stairs, you've got another thing coming!' she replied.

She came to live near my childhood home just before I was born and stayed there until about five years ago, when it was decided she wasn't looking after herself properly after her stroke.

As time has gone on, she has become more and more childlike. She has her soft toy doggie with her on her bed, which the nursing home thoughtfully sent with her in the ambulance. On Monday, she was quite alert, and fiddling with her tubes, so my husband Paul freed the tubes from her fingers, and replaced them with her doggie. She looked down at its little face, her eyes lit up, and she smiled the biggest smile of recognition, it was so innocent and lovely.

[Nicos]

How's she doing today?
...strange thing is- maybe she's' waiting' for your father to return?

[SlugLobber]

Aw, thanks for that, Becki. I lived in Dartford for a couple of years, so vaguely remember the site of the Joyce Green Hospital. I lived on West Hill and then near Dartford Heath.

That's lovely about the nursing home putting her doggie with her in the ambulance. so often we hear the bad press about places like that and I think it's great that homes like this still exist. Everything crossed that your Father makes it back. xx

[HeyWayne]

How's she doing today?
...strange thing is- maybe she's' waiting' for your father to return?

My nan did the same. Waited until she'd seen everyone, then slipped away that night. She just told us all she loved us (filling up here), she didn't want to say goodbye.

Becki, really hope your dad makes it back in time.

Thoughts are with you.

[Bigmallly]

How's she doing today?
...strange thing is- maybe she's' waiting' for your father to return?

My sentiments exactly...........stay strong girl.

[OllieMartin]

It's so nice to hear that you know so much about her.
Sadly, most of the conversations I had with my grandparents happened when I was too young to really remember the details. Now only one of them is left, my paternal grandmother, who lives in a nursing home and, despite still having a great sense of humour, her memory is awful and she often asks who she used to be married to (her husban passed away earlier in the year). So holding a conversation about her past is unfortunately unlikely.

My maternal grandfather had a very interesting time in the 2nd World War and wrote his memoirs several years ago. It has been a fantastic read to know that he did so much with his life and something which is so apt at the moment.

You should be very proud that, not only do you have a grandmother with such great stories to tell, but also that you can (and have) passed them on yourself.

[Jeanied]

What a lovely story Becki - hold on to those magic moments - and if it helps you to remember, write them down somewhere, just as you did on the vine. I found my jottings a huge source of comfort even though they were written at a sad time. You remember the golden times...

[SueA]

Really sorry for you Becki, it's awful when you know that someone is slipping away, hope your dad makes it back in time. It brought a tear to my eye reading about the dog toy so heaven knows how you're feeling. Loved the stories about your gran's youth, she must have been quite a character, my grandparents were all dead by the time I was 3 months old so I never got to know any of them. My husband's grans both lived to well in their nineties & the one who lived to almost 99 was still insisting on helping her daughter with the ironing almost right up until she died!