Gardeners Rest #13 ( 2018)

[Lumpy]

she started to mentally visualise Rary and Trigger being 'spotted' by a top class acting agent who offered to get them a job as........

[Cadalot]

Benny Hills horse when he plays Ernie the Fastest Milkman in the West, Lumpy had completely forgotten that Benny Hill had been dead for many years and was a 70's TV icon but …...

[Cadalot]

meanwhile in a field near an Airport in the United Kingdom …..

[veggiechicken]

..........the Grapes were gathering and reminding each other that the Vine does not let politicians into the GR as its better to make fun of our own members, especially rary, and so, putting away her pointy stick this time, VC hopped over to the bar and ordered drinks for all those who had sown a seed today..............

[burnie]

been out all day so it looks like I will have to miss the free drink and have a...………….

[Lumpy]

go at painting my toenails a vibrant orange instead as my.....

[rary]

Usual bright blue, but sensing that rary was troubled by something she asked what was wrong, so rary told her that although he didn't buy any drink it didn't mean he didn't drink,and he was being,asked to play the front end of the panto donkey so he would need a big drink of whisky and brandy and vodka gin shingles with a gin and tonic, so....

[veggiechicken]

"Vodka gin shingles????" Sounds like a rash decision, rary!
Anyway, you're the back end of the panto donkey and drinking in that position is difficult if not impossible when you consider that the front end............

[rary]

There is product that I used when out walking called a platypus, said rary,you fill it with whisky and lead a tube up to your mouth and you can supp it as you walk, the only problem is it only holds 5pints but I suppose I can get it topped up at the interval, but there is no way I am going to be the rear end, so you can just.....

[rary]

Oh and should have added its whisky I want in it AP will pay for it so......

[veggiechicken]

..........if the front end is a platypus, you're going to look really daft walking behind it, with its duck bill and webbed feet and your donkey hooves and tail at the back end.
What will it be called? A platydonkpusey or a donkplatykeypus?
I need to know as we writing out the panto cast list and we want to give you all the credit you deserve for taking on this challenging role.................sober. Maybe, at the end...............

[rary]

I WILL NOT be at the end, and the platypus goes on my back, so you can....

[veggiechicken]

.............cast me as the bottom half of a Panto Platydonkey. Its going to be even more difficult to have a drink, walking on all fours, or is that hooves? said rary, wondering whether VC was right first time and it was better to be the back half than the bottom half.
As he scratched his grizzled head, thinking, Ap walked up to the bar and said " ...and for rary, pour me a .............

[rary]

..........the Grapes were gathering and reminding each other that the Vine does not let politicians into the GR as its better to make fun of our own members, especially rary, and so, putting away her pointy stick this time, VC hopped over to the bar and ordered drinks for all those who had sown a seed today..............

Sorry Folks just read this post, I will have to withdraw from the Gardeners Rest as I am a poulitician, why only today I put a poulitic on my fingers as it looks as if it's poisoned, but I do.....

[veggiechicken]

..........not need those fingers anyway, as I have hooves, or is it webbed feet.

It was obvious that the poison in rary's fingers had spread to his brain cell. There was only one treatment, according to the Wicked Chicken Witch - to withdraw all access to alcohol and replace it with one of her special potions - the one on Page 56 should do the trick.

Rary looked...............