tangentisation

[mothhawk]

.........

[bearded bloke]

Lateral Brainworm (special for Fez )


An Aussie Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly
Gates. 'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been
forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the Blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the Blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?
The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year'?
The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you
to have those answers for me.'

So the Blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the
same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to
which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

The Blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the
question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions' St Peter went on, 'how many
seconds in a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' said the Blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second
of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the Blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a
decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the
third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the
name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy?'

'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not
stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at
THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the Blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.'

And the Blonde entered Heaven.

You're singing it now, aren't you?
__________________

[KittyColdNose]

Ha ha ha ha ha. A poorly timed sneeze.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Mj4BFvwwj-o

[veggiechicken]

17 Vegetables Who Forgot They Were Vegetables

Something to aim for in the Vine Show perhaps

[Nicos]

Talking of gooseberries......

According to Wiki......

"Gooseberry bush" was 19th-century slang for pubic hair, and from this comes the saying that babies are "Born under a gooseberry bush."[7]

I may now think twice about saying that again in public

[mothhawk]

Zen gardening for beginners....

[Bigmallly]

I may now think twice about saying that again in public

It will certainly make you smile if you do...............

[maytreefrannie]

Lateral Brainworm (special for Fez )



'Easy' said the Blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.'

And the Blonde entered Heaven.

You're singing it now, aren't you?
__________________

Yes, I've been singing it most of the time since I first read your post.

[RedThorn]

How appropriate

[bearded bloke]

[veggiechicken]

[bearded bloke]

They REALLY didn't think this through did they

[bearded bloke]

Nor this one ...........

[bearded bloke]

[mothhawk]

This is a warning Under NO circumstances read the next sentence.





You little rebel - I like you.