Manners...............

[BarleySugar]

I find ex-students still call me Miss, although one, and it always made me smile inside, asked if I was married. When I said I was, he started calling me Mrs, no surname. He even used to write Dear Mrs in his emails to me. I have to say I do sometimes get a bit annoyed when people who have never met me use my first name. I use Mr, Ms (if I don't know marital status), etc.
Mind you, I always took it as a complement if students said 'thanks Mum' without thinking. At school in front of the students we always used Miss or Sir, well I did, because although I'd know staff by their first name, I didn't always remember their last name. I wouldn't use Sir to an adult male outside school though, and I wouldn't know what to call a woman either, so I just leave it off.
One girl was in my tutor group at school for 5 years and is a great friend of my daughter, (who is godmother to her daughter), still doesn't call me by my first name. She has just about lost the 'Miss' after 2 years out of school, but told DD that she feels really uncomfortable with the idea of calling me Ann.

[Florence Fennel]

My parents taught me that the teachers at school should be addressed by their name, Mr Smith, Mrs Jones, Miss Brown, so I have never used "Sir". At my first job after college it was quaint to have to use first names for the directors who all shared the same surname - "Mr John, Mr Michael and Mr Richard", but I got used to it.

It was lovely that you helped the lad out and even nicer that he thanked you properly, regardless of what address he used.

[VirginVegGrower]

In Devon I was once addressed as "mi luvverr", which really freaked me out. When I'm trying to explain something to Mr VVG that he isn't getting, I call him "sweet cheeks." When the boot is on the other foot, usually in reference to metal stresses/materials science...yawn, I get called "sweetie"

[singleseeder]

Aaww.... my dad used to call me 'mi luvverr' and 'maid'- I grew up in Plymouth you see.

I do regret that pupils no longer stand up when a teacher enters the room. I've heard the argument that teacher's should 'earn respect', but I believe it is more about the respect of the position of a teacher rather than who the teacher is. Once in the world of work, you have to show respect to your superiors to get on, so it is a lesson well learnt.

Being called by my first name by cold callers get's my goat though. Even more so when they ask me 'how I am today'. You just know they don't really want to know.

Since moving to the NE, being called 'man' has been a bit of a learning curve.

[Seahorse]

There are two different discussions here, surely? I also don't believe that anyone particularly deserves a title like 'Sir' (certainly if it was by inheritance) and when my work brought me into contact with a couple of such people, I couldn't bring myself to address them as anything (I was polite, just not fawning, like some of my colleagues). I cheerfully say 'thankyou kind sir' to elderly gentlemen who open doors for me though. That's just a pleasantry that hopefully makes someone happy.

[bearded bloke]

doesn't make them better than anyone else.

I know of at least one that would disagree with you there bud,having been assured by my then manager that "morning mate" is not an appropriate greeting to an HRH yep,that would be my great claim to fame

I applaud the action of helping another for whatever reason,good on you bud
As to awarding a title to another..bud,mate,pal,sweetheart,darling & hun cover all eventualities except one & that is reserved for Sir/Madam.
The occasion in question would be when he/she pays me for services rendered in my professional capacity,for all other events remember your bible study ......... "We are all equal in the eyes of the lord"

[Alison]

People calling you mate, bud or anything like that when they don't know you is annoying as anything and rather lazy to me. That said, can't remember ever calling anybody Sir or Madam, at school people were Mr / Mrs / Miss as appropriate and if somebody I didn't know held a door open for me or whatever I'd just smile and say thank you, no need for anything else. Don't mind being called love but really really hate hun as it's so candy but as somebody has already said, a lot of it depends on the way it's said, sometimes some people can be very condensending which is very rude.

With regards the kid in the initial post, good on him for being polite, obvioulsy well brought up

One final thing, don't understand the problem with being called son if you are, thought that one was quite common although must admit have never heard it work for a daughter.

[Feral007]

Gidday Mate! Sorry just coudn't resist - not something I'd normally say.
I agree there's more than one topic here.

Good on the original poster (I can't remember your name sir, after reading 3 pages ) and good on the boy for having good manners and remembering to use them.

I loathe being referred to as Madam. But like other people, I find that it is how people say it rather than what they say. I once had a man my own age refer to me in a sarky tone as 'Dear' and then later that day a very young teen - first job possibly first day on the job - call me 'Madam' but in such a lovely tone that I forgave him!

I usually don't tack anything on to the end of my sentences either. Unless I'm talking to my boys, because they are twins, if you don't refer to them by name they each think you are meaning the other one to put out the garbage, feed the dog etc.

I hate it when people insist I must be a Miss, Mrs, or Ms. I have two good names and if you don't like either of them enough to use them, then I have a third one as well.

As a sign of disrespect I refer to the principal as Mr. Whats-it; No way I'm calling him by his given name that's for sure. The other teachers I refer to as Mr/Mrs/Miss Whats-it; unless they always refer to themselves by their first name. Then I'll call them by their first and last names. That way I don't have to change how I refer to them when I'm talking to the kids.

I don't have a problem with my kids friends referring to me by my first name. It is my name and I'm happy with it. As my kids have a double barrelled last name it's a pain having to explain the difference anyway. And most of them do not treat me with disrespect.

We had quite a funny thing when we moved here to the country. My kids were used to calling teachers etc by Miss/Mr. But most of their parents friends were happier to be called by their first names. But thinking it could be seen as a sign of disrespect I told the kids they should call the next door neighbours husband by his last name. I meant Mr. Whats-it. My 6 year old daughter however took me very literally. It wasn't until years later that his wife realised why her husband was called 'Whats-it' by my daughter. We had a good laugh about it. Ali

[Vince G]

Went to visit a mate in Stoke-on-Trent once and we went to get some beers out of the offie, and the woman behind the counter thanked me with "ta duck". Most strange I thought, until I heard my mate say the same thing to a barmaid later that night. Never heard it elsewhere, maybe it's a Stoke thing.........

[Newton]

With a language as complex as ours is comes as no surprise that we have many different ways of addressing each other in many different circumstances. None are technically wrong. However many are incorrect and can be used in appropriately to make a point!

Simpler languages often have far more structure so the addressing of another person has to be more formal.

Manners are a whole different thing and the fishing boy clearly had them in abundance. Lovely to hear!

[Patchninja]

With a language as complex as ours is comes as no surprise that we have many different ways of addressing each other in many different circumstances. None are technically wrong. However many are incorrect and can be used in appropriately to make a point!

Simpler languages often have far more structure so the addressing of another person has to be more formal.

Manners are a whole different thing and the fishing boy clearly had them in abundance. Lovely to hear!

Which simple languages are you talking about?

[Newton]

Malay. Spanish German lots!

[Florence Fennel]

Went to visit a mate in Stoke-on-Trent once and we went to get some beers out of the offie, and the woman behind the counter thanked me with "ta duck". Most strange I thought, until I heard my mate say the same thing to a barmaid later that night. Never heard it elsewhere, maybe it's a Stoke thing.........

No Vince, it's said in Yorkshire too duck.

[Feral007]

Yes, I've been Ducked a couple of times in the UK
I got called a girl the other day - lovely! Should be more of it! When I laughed she said she'd got pulled up for calling someone Darl the week before so we were all going to be girls from now on! Ali

[taff]

they say it in leicester too...
german? easy? okaaaaayyy.....