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  • #16
    One of your children?

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    • #17
      Munch I still feel you need to see the doc, I walked out of my job a while back not like me at all. At the time I was grieving over loosing my sister, my niece ( her daughter ) was living with my other sister ( still is ) and was getting really drunk nearly every day, her dad didnt want her. On top of all this my other sister lost her home, someone close to me kept trying to take her own life and so on . My doc was brilliant he sat me down and talked to me, told me the promise we had made to my sister to look after her daughter was too much and we could let her go into care, not an option, never was never will be. He told me he would give me a sick note if I needed it, just talking to him about what was going on really helped, no pills were offered, no pills were needed. Just talking to someone who knows how to deal with YOU not the one who gives you grief helps. Dont bottle it up get help and fast. It may be that you get the help for him quicker as well. Hugs xx
      Gardening ..... begins with daybreak
      and ends with backache

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      • #18
        I genuinely find that fresh air helps me the most, according to OH I've been much better since I got the lottie after I've spent several hours doing routine tasks, getting exercise and loads of lovely fresh air. I can tell if it's been wet and I've not been up so much that my ability to deal with anything stressful decreases. Think about what you're eating too, eating well makes the body better able to cope and don't drink, it makes it worse

        Some of us live in the past, always talking about back then. Some of us live in the future, always planning what we are going to do. And, then there are those, who neither look behind or ahead, but just enjoy the moment of right now.

        Which one are you and is it how you want to be?

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        • #19
          Exercise helps - aerobic excercise and stretching and breathing deeply are all good. Vigorous housework often helps me calm down and cheer up (no the house is not immaculate, very far from it!). Talking to someone helps. Tackling the root cause of a problem helps more. I don't know about your situation other than what you posted in this thread, but I hope you can get to a better place than you're in now.

          Caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, drugs, shopping binges, self-harm etc not helpful, however much they may seem like a way out. All those distractions might soothe, but they don't change the original cause of the problem. But we all know that anyway... (ps not implying that you were about to do any of the above!)

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          • #20
            Clary Sage and Neroli Aromatherapy oils are a couple of 'big boys' when it come to helping stress, depression & related symptoms. A few drops into a warm bath, or into carrier oil and used as a massage oil (doesn't have to be long winded, just rubbing it into your hands when you're watching TV is enough) should help a lot. However, you must not drink alcohol at the same time as using these oils, especially Clary Sage - it causes awful nightmares, and also not to be used if pregnant. These are very powerful but very effective and not terribly expensive to buy - 4 - 5 quid each at the most.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Munch View Post
              Chuck the stressful issue out of the front door!! (caught him stealing money off me again)!!
              Sorry bout your problem Munch, it's not the stress that needs treating, it's the cause & it appears you have already identified it......good luck & hope you are stress free real soon.
              sigpic“Gorillas are very intelligent, but they don't have to be as delicate as chimps -- they can just smash open the termite nest,”
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              Official Member Of The Nutters Club - Rwanda Branch.
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              KOYS - King Of Yellow Stickers..............

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Munch View Post
                I have found a temporary solution today.......

                Chuck the stressful issue out of the front door!! (caught him stealing money off me again)!!
                Hope someone can help you to deal with this Munch. I've been there with one of my sons and it's not easy. I know it's not of much comfort now, but they usually do turn out all right in the long run. Hugs love.
                Granny on the Game in Sheffield

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                • #23
                  I guess cures for stress are as wide and varied as the causes. Hope you feel better soon.
                  A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

                  BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

                  Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.


                  What would Vedder do?

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                  • #24
                    Hi Munch I am in a similar situation, not due to my kids but the death of my dad.

                    My friend bought me this book and I found it really useful. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Depressive-...1176395&sr=1-2


                    I do yoga on the sky exercise channel and plan to start swimming a couple of time a week

                    Hope you feel better soon but please speak to someone, your not alone x
                    You have to loose sight of the shore sometimes to cross new oceans

                    I would be a perfectionist, but I dont have the time

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                    • #25
                      Without going into too much detail, my eldest daughter 'went off the rails' so to speak when she was a teenager - and I am in no way saying my situation is the same as yours Munch - but eventually we found the cause of the problem, one was something that had happened to her, and one is a medical condition. Once we knew this, we could at least get some professional help and give her the correct support and understanding.
                      Good luck

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                      • #26
                        Thank you for all your tips and ideas, I have to allotment as my sanctuary and exercise which helps.

                        I might actually consider one of the book options (which is a first as I am not one to read)

                        I also think I may have to bite the bullet and go to the docs. This morning was awful and took me back to when I had depression...... I know I can be stronger and that helps. But this morning I found my son had done his usual and eaten things he should have, but then after that everything I touched went wrong, I spilled a drink, I left the tap running in the kitchen and flooded the floor which meant I used the last clean towel to clear it up just before I wanted to get int he bath... bla bla bla.... anyway the long and short of it was I ended up uncontrollably crying for over an hour....... my poor Mil when she popped round to have little munch for my osteo appointment!

                        Oh crap.,.... the joys hey

                        Thanks again everyone for all your support and kind words xx
                        Little ol' me

                        Has just bagged a Lottie!
                        Oh and the chickens are taking over my garden!
                        FIL and MIL - http://vegblogs.co.uk/chubbly/

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                        • #27
                          Hi, hope things improve for you soon. Just wanted to suggest things that have worked for me in the past - music (whatever reaches you), fresh air and hard physical work, meditation and mentally chucking any worries out of the window when I have them (sounds weird, but does help somewhat), plus writing lists of what is weighing on my mind (which I then either work on or chuck out depending on what they are).

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                          • #28
                            The only thing that helped me when my teenagers were being awful was to try to put it out of my mind as far as possible and concentrate on trying not to let it affect the little ones too much. Can you get yourself lost in a book or a film instead of lying awake worrying (reading or watching till you actually fall asleep if you have to)? Stress tends to mess up your sleeping habits and then the lack of sleep exacerbates the stress. If you can at least get a decent night's sleep it might help a little.
                            The problem with rounded personalities is they don't tesselate.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Munch View Post
                              Thanks everyone.

                              I am trying to avoid going to the docs as they are all too hasty about chucking anti depressants down your throat....

                              I weaned myself off them 6 years ago and dont want them anymore.

                              I have found a temporary solution today.......

                              Chuck the stressful issue out of the front door!! (caught him stealing money off me again)!!
                              Dude I totally agree about the tablets. Ive seen how they can make people worse if they run out or take something that clashes. There is also the psychological addiction in stresshead types (Im allowed to say that as it takes one to know one!) even in allegedly "non addictive" substances. Im mega mega stressed at the moment, missing my dog agility, missing long walks of freedom and missing my identity as a person in my own right. (for example healthcare professionals call you "mum" which irritates me beyond belief). I have refused anti depressants on the grounds Im not depressed Im STRESSED! totally different state of being. If I take drugs to chemically cosh me I will end up DEPRESSED as well as STRESSED! To my mind taking tablets to mask a minor mental health problem is like taking morphine because your hand is hurting on the hot stove. It will cause more problems in the long run.Take your hand off the stove then think about painkiller to help you recover if you need it! Personally Im trying (very hard with a baby) to take as much exercise as I can, Im talking my worries through with people I trust rather than people who are paid to listen and Im trying to count my blessings (old advice but true), and Im coming to the conclusion that people who have forgotten I exist because Ive been forced out of circulation for a while are no great loss anyway. Hope you get through this. Its very hard to chuck that dark cloud off x

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                              • #30
                                The weird this is I have no problem sleeping, in actual fact I could sleep at just about any given moment!

                                Tired all the time!
                                Little ol' me

                                Has just bagged a Lottie!
                                Oh and the chickens are taking over my garden!
                                FIL and MIL - http://vegblogs.co.uk/chubbly/

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