At what age do you let your chidren

[piskieinboots]

....there is far more traffic on the roads than there was even 10 years ago....

...that a person can zoom from point a to point b at 60 miles an hour, means the deed can be done, and the perbatrator and the victim can be in another county with in minutes..

both very good points Lindy

[kirsty b]

Thorny issue!

My pickle is 9 and we live 100 yds from school. I can see the gate from my living room window. She is always walked to school, but on the days I work, she walks home alone (a couple of her friends go the same way and she will often walk with them), goes upstairs and gives her dad a shake to let him know she is home. By the time she has done this I am in anyway. She has orders not to go out to play till I am back and have seen her.

She has one more year at this school, then they will all be moving to the new school (currently being built) which is all of 200yds away, I will continue to walk her to, but will see how she goes walking back with a friend once they are used to the new site, there will be other kids/parents going the same way.

Secondary school - the one she will go to is a 10-15 minute walk away, and I will encourage walking as much as possible. She probably won't want mum cramping her style, but she won't be going alone till I am sure she knows the way, doesn't go alone and can be trusted etc with coming straght home and not disappearing off with mates etc.
If she wants to go alone, perhaps I could 'just happen' to be walking the dog the same way, just walking a little way behind her and her friends. My mother is absolutely horrified that I would consider not driving her all over the place and generally cotton-wooling her, but I then pointed out my walk to secondary school was an hour's walk, and before that - when we still lived in a village - was a 5 mile bike ride.
We do teach stranger danger, she knows to say no. Good thing about where I live is that no matter where our kids are, at least one parent can see them and we are all in contact with each other.

[teakdesk]

Maybe if we'd been more protective of our kids when they were young I wouldn't have had to take my daughter to Manchester and put her onto a coach load of strangers and let her spend 6 continuous months working in the Alps.... when she'd just turned 18.

Nor would she have broken her back when a greyhound bus crashed and killed 6 people when she was back-packing - alone - in America at 21 years old.

Maybe she wouldn't now be blissfully happy living with a Frenchman... in Belgium.



Yes, it goes wrong for some but early independence brings wonderful joy as well. I would be mortified if I'd denied my daughter happiness.

[Alison]

Yes, it goes wrong for some but early independence brings wonderful joy as well. I would be mortified if I'd denied my daughter happiness.

I'm sure that your daughter appreciates and loves you for that

[Ladybird2618]

Jeremy Vine discussed this yesterday and I think it's a very fine line deciding how much freedom to allow. I think it very much depends on the child and the area you live in.
I moved from Lincoln to Hornsea ( a small town in East Yorkshire) and had trouble adjusting and letting my daughters have more independance.
They are now 14 and 11 and walk the mile to school with friends although they were escorted until the last term of primary school. I allow the older to go into Hull (about an hour on the bus) with a friend although I prefer it when there are more of them she stays in touch by mobile so I know she's ok and she knows she can call at any time and we will be with her as soon as we can. I also let them go swimming to our local council pool but the older has to look out for her sister. The younger one is alot more nervous and giddy and I wouldn't trust her so soon but I am sure she will mature as well as my older daughter.
The worst thing that has happened is that my older daughter was walking our two Border Terriers and they were attacked by a pit bull type it has made her quite nervous of walking them now but we make her do it ( in a different direction to where this other dog lives!!) otherwise she won't get her confidence back.
Incidentally when I was 7 in 1975 I used to travel from one parent to another on the bus from ....get this Lowestoft to Hull. I'm a twin so there were two of us. The driver would kick us out at Sheffield and show us which bus to get to Hull. Can you imagine that happening nowadays - I think not!!!!
We didn't think anything of it though then it was an adventure.
A very interesting topic and one there are no right or wrong answers to sadly.

[Rhona]

I would be mortified if I'd denied my daughter happiness.

I'm sure all the parents on this thread; no matter what their view on 'the school run;' share your sentiment.


Your daughter has clearly had some adventures as a young adult, and undoubtedly she's very thankful to you for supporting her in them.

[janeyo]

y children are 6 (in 2 weeks) and 3 (last Sunday). The little one is still mostly in the buggy, although we are now letting him out to walk further and further and he has learnt he has to hold on the the buggy.
We walk to school everyday. We have to cross one main and very busy road, and then 2 more in quiet cul-de-sacs to get to school, it is only half a mile. The 6 yr oldis now taking charge of road crossing. He decides now if it is safe as a way of teaching him road sense. He hasn't got us squashed yet
I can see me walking him to the main road and watching him cross in a couple of years knowing he will be fine then to get to school on his own - there are a couple of friends he could pick up on route, but don't think I will be letting him do the whole journey while at primary school.

We have just been to Turkey on holiday and I was totally amazed by how touchy feely everyone is with strangers' children. Everyone will ruffle your child's hair, tweak their face, give them a high five, even whisk them off and find lollipops in restaurants etc. At first I wasn't too hay about this as it is so different to how we behave over here, but gradually you come to realise that they genuinely love children and embrace their exuberence and cherish them, even the young male waiters behave like this! Of course I was with them all the time and watching and seeing what was happening, and not letting them out of my sight, but there was nothing sinister in it at all. And I believe their statistcs of crimes against children are very low.
It was very refreshing to not have to be cynical all week worrying about any ulterior motives.

[teakdesk]

I'm sure that your daughter appreciates and loves you for that

She does; even tho' she's over the Channel they've both been back for Christmas and Easter and are coming again in August before we visit them a few weeks later... there's nothing to compare with a daughter's hug whether she's 2 or 22 !!! (she's 25 but it didn't rhyme )

Only problem is a few moments after hugging and kissing her I do the same with an unshaven Frenchman!!

[di]

I'm sure all the parents on this thread; no matter what their view on 'the school run;' share your sentiment.


Your daughter has clearly had some adventures as a young adult, and undoubtedly she's very thankful to you for supporting her in them.

Well put!

We all do our best for our kiddies and I'm sure I'm not the only one that has doubts sometimes that I make the right choices,but I do the best and make the choices that sit right with me.
We're all so different and who the heck would want to live in a world where we were all the same

Janey...having spent a lot of time in Turkey I agree with part of your post,it's so sad that as adults we so often fear being friendly to kiddies without being accused of something nasty....however Turkey(and I'm sure every country)also has it's fair share of sinister folk