What makes a best friend?

[dexterdoglancashire]

I've been pondering this afternoon................ about my best friend and myself. We seem to be total opposites, but she is my best friend who I can tell anything and she will give me good, sound advice (I may not agree with it, but she is always bob on!).

Examples of opposites:
She likes shopping - I don't
She hates animals - I love them
She likes growing flowers - I don't, I love veg
She is always smartly dressed, even in a pair of jeans - I'm not
Her house is always spotless - erm, mines not!

What do you think makes people best friends?

[rustylady]

A real friend is someone who is always there for you, and is not afraid to tell you the truth (even if you hate it at the time). She (or he) will mop up your tears, laugh with you, and always care for you.

[bramble]

Someone who is always there for you.
Who doesn't judge you
Who will listen and give advice when needed and won't be annoyed if you don't take it.
Someone who will not tell you look awful in the latest fashion even if secretly they do.

I have two best friends.
The first day I started school I sat beside a girl called Marie and she was 4.
I was 5 years old at that time.
5 years later a new girl came into our school and was seated beside us two.
That was 60 years ago.
We got married and ended up living in the same area. We each have 3 children. We were all born in May. We attended all the celebrations in the families and were there for each other on the death of our family members.
We meet up and go out together once a month and our three husbands have become great friends over the years.
I feel I have been truly blessed through my life from having my two best friends, Marie and Joan always there for me.

[Brengirl]

Whoops! This could be where I have gone wrong but I have no friends, of the sort that you are talking. All my life I have been family orientated. I have no friends apart from cyber ones and I would certainly not burden them with day to day problems. How do you make a friend, that is the question. Do they just happen. I am by nature outward going so why do I not have a close confident?

[FionaH]

My friend doesn't give advice, she offers suggestions. She's usually right!
She believes in me when I don't believe in myself.
She makes me laugh at myself when I am being ridiculous, which is quite often.
She tells me when I look like a bag of hammers, but she also tells me when I look wonderful.
She talked me into an art class when I was too scared to sign up
She listens when I moan about MrH and then reminds me how lovely he is.
She has shown me the value of taking one day at a time and seeing the best in it, always.

[ginger ninger]

This sounds sloppy, but my best friend is my OH Ian, I can tell him anything, he's supportive, caring, helpful and wise beyond his years, he doesn't stand there saying "I told you so" when I get things wrong, he gives me sound advice, he's been there for me when my world's fallen apart, he's helped me pick up the pieces and re-build myself, he's not judgemental, he's not the flower and kisses kind of guy...but he's my Rock and I love him for being him.

[Rhona]

My best friends are my sisters, without a doubt. We can talk about anything, we've lived together as adults, (through choice!), we are very similar, but with enough differences to keep things interesting, they drive me up the wall, but I love them. We've all got other good pals but if pushed, we'd say we're other's bessie.

We also share EXACTLY the same sense of humour, which is the best thing. My older sis lives in Scotland so don't see her enough, but when we're all together, we laugh until we have to rest our faces on the back of the sofa. Awful for anyone else nearby.

[Rhona]

This sounds sloppy, but my best friend is my OH Ian,

Oh I didn't know we were including OH's. Well, deffo Mr R first then. I thought we meant 'other' people...

[janeyo]

I think true friends are able to not see each other for a while (a few years even) for whatever reason, and then when they meet up the conversation carries on as if they'd not missed a day!

A true friend listens and doesn't judge.

[dexterdoglancashire]

Whoops! This could be where I have gone wrong but I have no friends, of the sort that you are talking. All my life I have been family orientated. I have no friends apart from cyber ones and I would certainly not burden them with day to day problems. How do you make a friend, that is the question. Do they just happen. I am by nature outward going so why do I not have a close confident?

Family can be friends as well. Shame, none of mine are. Havent seen some of my family for years. What is that saying? "You can choose your friends but not your family?" Anyroads....thats a completely different thread, one I ain't going down.

[binley100]

True friends are always there when needed. You don't necessarily need to see them from one day to the next but when you do you can pick up from where you left off. You might have differences of opinion but in the long run its not important. I have a lot of acquaintances but a few true best friends including my OH.

[dogsbody]

Friends? I have them, best friend - not since school days (still do the xmas card thing)

Sometimes the cats seem closer than people.

In the pst it has been great, now, just now, not so.

Family is still fantastic.

[FROSTYFRECKLE]

I have two best friends - Mr Frosty is one. The other best friend is 20 years older than me and would give most 18 years old a run for their money. She loves shopping and loves wonderful (beautiful nails, hair, clothes), me I despise shopping and I look like a scruffy urchin (on my good days), she does threaten me with hair straighteners (which are evil). Her home is a show home (but she likes you treat it like your own), my home is small and homely. She loves nights out, I love a good book. But we make each another laugh, love a natter and nothing is impossible to us - need your kitchen floor tiled, we'll do it; need decking done, we do it; need a bridge built, yeah we will do it

[Finedon.Dandy]

I miss having a close friend. Really miss having a close friend.

I met my ex best friend at my first job when I was 16. We were VERY close for over 16 years. She did once betray me by having a fling with my first boyfriend when I was 18. I forgave them both (although he did it again with another woman some 4 years later) but I never brought it up again. We went on several holidays, had lots of fun, wild times, cried and laughed together.

It all went wrong as soon as I married and immediatly fell pregnant with Bluebelle. People say that she was jealous of what I had, me, I feel she had a couple of nasty people in her ear and because she felt alienated from her newly married friend she couldnt come to me about it. Its all a rather long story but basically it was my pregnancy hormones which triggered an argument and then I got a nasty letter. She said I was too bossy (well she was stubborn!), that her parents (who I looked upon as my 2nd family) had never liked me and that I didnt like her boyfriend. Unfortunately it was the nasty mutual friends who didnt like him, were trying to report him to immigration etc but I never got a chance to voice my side as she said I was never to contact her again which I didnt. I was heartbroken though and it took until very recently to destroy that letter as I would often read it to torture myself with what a horrible person I must be.

Sorry for this outpouring, I have just been really missing her - well maybe not her but the closeness and also remembering all the good times. Its hard having quite a few new friends in a small village where everywhere I look are close friendships formed from childhood and I'm no part of that. A best friend shouldnt betray, destroy someones confidence like she did - maybe they dont really exist? - not for me anyway. As much as I would love a "best" friend, I cant take the chance of them turning on me.

[Jeanied]

Tammy I know what you mean by missing a best friend - mine was my OH and I lost him to cancer. My big sis is my best friend now but not in the same way and she lives a long way away! And sometimes she is more like my best fiend! So it's the vine for me!