Last of a dying breed

[Brengirl]

and I just remembered that I always close a door quietly.

[Two_Sheds]

If it's just left slamming in my face by the person I'm following, I usually make sure my hand makes a noise when connecting with the door

A very loud theatrical "ouch" works too, as does dropping your entire shopping basket on the floor if someone rudely bangs into you in the supermarket

[OllieMartin]

If it's just left slamming in my face by the person I'm following, I usually make sure my hand makes a noise when connecting with the door, and if that doesn't get a reaction, I have been known for a little sarcasm

Or kicking the base of the door whilst flicking your head back and grabbing your forehead. I used to do that to the teachers at school, good wind-up!

[SlugLobber]

nah Binley. He was just uncouth!
Same rule applies in our house and woe betide the person who asks to be excused before all have finished eating too...

I was appalled when I first went to dinner at my in-laws. Both OH and his dad started gobbling food down whilst MIL was still in the kitchen, not having even brought her food in. The TV stayed on during dinner (a HUGE gripe of mine, I find that bad manners) and as soon as FIL had finished, he said a very standard, 'Very nice, Thank you', got up (with the rest of us still eating) and went and sat in 'his' chair. Dessert was served to him there and I was left staring at an empty seat (some books blocked my view of the TV, so I couldn't even watch that).

It's like that every single time I go round there. FIL always says EXACTLY the same thing when he finishes, so it's completely meaningless and always leaves the table before everyone else has finished. I told OH if he did that in my house he'd be wearing dessert. OH does now wait until his Mum comes in - he just hadn't thought about the lack of respect, before, just following what his Dad always did.

We also had to stand for teachers when they entered and raise a hand to speak in class. I don't think they even do that at my school, now and at the time we were the only school I knew that did it (outside the private sector).

I don't mind doors being held open at all. I do it for males and females alike. To me, it's just manners, as somebody else said. Same for holding out a hand to help me up/down a slope or out of a boat. I do it for anybody lighter than me and sometimes accept the gesture, sometimes not (depends if I trust their balance, ha ha!).

I do cut bread with a knife, though (I assume you mean on a side plate). Sorry...

[OllieMartin]

I don't mind doors being held open at all. I do it for males and females alike. To me, it's just manners, as somebody else said. Same for holding out a hand to help me up/down a slope or out of a boat. I do it for anybody lighter than me and sometimes accept the gesture, sometimes not (depends if I trust their balance, ha ha!).

I do cut bread with a knife, though (I assume you mean on a side plate). Sorry...

If I travel in a car or taxi with a lady I'll get out, walk around the car, open their door and offer a hand getting out. Generally reserved for a generation or two above me as younger ladies can take offence to being 'helped' out of a car. And I wouldn't do it for a trip to the shops, just a restaurant or wedding etc.
My brothers and I always escort the ladies of the family from car to venue by offering an arm to hold. It's not only nice for the women to be treated properly, but it makes us feel like proper gentlemen too and I know it makes my mum's day to see us all acting as she taught us.

And yes, I did really mean sideplate bread, not if you're making sandwhiches in the kitchen

[Glutton4...]

I was told to break rather than cut the roll on your side plate, but nobody explained why - I still do it though.

We have the little kitchen telly on whilst eating if it's just us two. If we have guests it is OFF. We don't eat in the lounge, other than on very rare occasions (once a year-ish). I think it very rude to have the TV on whilst eating with guests, unless they've been invited to watch a specific item (film, race, match etc) then we'll sometimes have 'one-handed' food.

[Madasafish]

<i>I was also told by my dad that when a man and woman walk down a road together, the man should be next to the road to catch splashes from vehicles driving through puddles! Sounds like a hang-over from the Vicotrians...</i>

I was told it was to keep your sword arm free.


I think it dates back to the 15th century: probably London.. Pickpockets and rogues late at night. A gentleman always wore a sword.. (I am obviously not one as I am swordless :-)

[Capsid]

I always walk behind someone if our paths are going to cross. Not surprisingly with the younger generation, they don't even notice I've done this. With my contemporaries however, we sometimes have a sidestepping dance followed by "sorry".


There's a serious lack of please and thank yous too.

[kirsty b]

What everyone has said, pleases, thank yous. Always hold doors open, regardless of sex.

I was in a shop the other evening and an older chap was in front of me, and after I assisted him out of the shop (looked like he has had stroke previously) to make sure he was ok on the steps - I got interrogated by my daughter as to why I had done that!!

[RobintheBobin]

Ollie, you are a true gentleman!!

My in-laws have rotten manners - one of the worst things is that they don't bring their knife and fork together at the end of a meal and just leave them lying randomly on the plate. For some reason it drives me MAD OH doesn't seem to have inherited half of their bad traits and he opens the car door for, generally holds doors open although he isn't always great at offering up a chair to a lady as I found out at a party recently

That leads me onto another gripe - it does annoy me when younger people don't offer a seat to older people on busy buses/trains/tubes but it certainly warms my heart when it is usually the least expected person who does it!

[Incy]

All of the above. One thing I did find though is that table manners and etiquette vary from country to country. I was taught you keep your hands in your lap when at the table but not eating, in France I had to relearn to keep my hands in sight next to my plate.
One thing I really hate is people not waiting until everyone is served before they start eating. There were loads of us at family mealtimes but we always waited until the last person was served before we started.
OH gets really cross with our boy if he doesn't cut things small enough before eating them. To be fair, he struggles to cut stuff due to his disability so I think sometimes he just goes for it even if he's not sure it will fit. I get more annoyed when he puts his cutlery on the table instead of on the plate!

[Hilary B]

If I travel in a car or taxi with a lady I'll get out, walk around the car, open their door and offer a hand getting out. Generally reserved for a generation or two above me as younger ladies can take offence to being 'helped' out of a car. And I wouldn't do it for a trip to the shops, just a restaurant or wedding etc.
My brothers and I always escort the ladies of the family from car to venue by offering an arm to hold. It's not only nice for the women to be treated properly, but it makes us feel like proper gentlemen too and I know it makes my mum's day to see us all acting as she taught us.

And yes, I did really mean sideplate bread, not if you're making sandwhiches in the kitchen

If I'm wearing a 'posh frock' I appreciate being 'helped' out of car or similar. Posh frocks aren't made for agility. When wearing my usual scruffy outfit, I may not be amused (although if it is a very young person, I may see the funny side of them thinking I can't manage on my own).

[Hilary B]

All of the above. One thing I did find though is that table manners and etiquette vary from country to country. I was taught you keep your hands in your lap when at the table but not eating, in France I had to relearn to keep my hands in sight next to my plate.
One thing I really hate is people not waiting until everyone is served before they start eating. There were loads of us at family mealtimes but we always waited until the last person was served before we started.
OH gets really cross with our boy if he doesn't cut things small enough before eating them. To be fair, he struggles to cut stuff due to his disability so I think sometimes he just goes for it even if he's not sure it will fit. I get more annoyed when he puts his cutlery on the table instead of on the plate!

In Spain,(at least the bit we visit) you only ever get one set of knife-and-fork on the table, The idea is to re-use them for as many courses as they are suitable, hence you put them beside the plate when it is to be removed (if you forget, they do bring replacements, but that isn't the usual way).

[binley100]

If you holda door open for someone and they sail straight through without a word try saying pardon. Then when say 'Ididn't say anything' say oh sorry I thought you said thankyou.

[Pumpkin Becki]

My brother and I were brought up with impeccable table manners (using cutlery properly, eating with mouth closed, waiting for everyone to be served and then asking permission to start eating, asking permission to leave the table). For some reason my bro hasn't passed this on to his son (almost 14), and I cannot bear eating at the same table as him. Today at the 'wake' he put his head on the table (eurghh!) and ate with his hands! Hello, this is a restaurant and you're in company you little ratbag!! (obviously I didn't say this out loud, but I was visibly fuming). Can't bear eating with my MIL either, as she talks with her mouth full, which makes me feel sick.

My father always said a gentleman should walk on the road side of the pavement, which I approve of wholeheartedly.

A lovely Polish chap (in his mid twenties) at work recently asked me about English 'courting' manners (holding doors open, helping get out of cars), and he asked if English girls/ladies liked to have the back of their hand kissed in greeting. I said that was probably a step too far, and that most young English women aren't used to that sort of thing and might find it a bit freaky, but I was impressed by his manners and thoughtfulness.