The pre budget report

[ailsasyl]

As many of you know I am a single working mum with a mortgage, there are times when HB is left on her own for an hour or two but as shes a sensible 13 and I know that neighbours are about who have offered to keep an eye on her and mum lives a couple of streets away, she safe, I wouldn't have done this in our old street, I think it depends on the child, I did work in an after school care a few years back but it only caters for up to twelve there are no child care facilities for over 12s, I work shifts so even when she was younger there was no childminders who take children in the evenings, I am earning a lot less than I used to, can't get a job doing what I did before as the government funding for care VQs has all but stopped, so no jobs, I work as a home carer and the office phones on days off looking for you to work extra, but I refuse even when I could as it means HB would see even less of me and I feel a balance is important.

[ailsasyl]

I tried applying for supermarket when a new one opened but they only give part time contracts, not much use with the morgage to pay, get tax creits but these will stop once HB leaves school know its a few years away yet, am planning to do degree through OU only way i can mange it financially

[BrideXIII]

As many of you know I am a single working mum with a mortgage, there are times when HB is left on her own for an hour or two but as shes a sensible 13 and I know that neighbours are about who have offered to keep an eye on her and mum lives a couple of streets away, she safe, I wouldn't have done this in our old street, I think it depends on the child, I did work in an after school care a few years back but it only caters for up to twelve there are no child care facilities for over 12s, I work shifts so even when she was younger there was no childminders who take children in the evenings, I am earning a lot less than I used to, can't get a job doing what I did before as the government funding for care VQs has all but stopped, so no jobs, I work as a home carer and the office phones on days off looking for you to work extra, but I refuse even when I could as it means HB would see even less of me and I feel a balance is important.

I agree with you entirely, and although it should make it better for me having TWO children, a sensible 14 yr old, and a not sensible at all 13 yr old both boys, it doesn't.
leaving two boys that age alone? the government can't be serious, my house would be destroyed, the neighbours would complain, I would be a mess worrying all day and no good at my job, and these are GOOD boys.
then there is the damage done to them, the stress laid on a 14 year old that he has to be responsible for the younger one? been there, did that, ruined my childhood, destroyed my self confidence, cos i was always in trouble cos the younger ones had played up. sorry. but i am not doing that to my son, or his brother.
When i had them i was married, i meant to bring them up properly, and I still intend to do so, even though through no fault of ours thsoe original circumstances have changed, and I'll do it despite a government/s that just do NOT seem to understand the real problems behind being a single parent.

[ailsasyl]

well i would, but i am a girl

on the benefits front, they certainly didn't waste any time, i got my letter today, just after i posted.
after a good cry, i re-read it, and basically it is another move by the gov to move the figures around, we will lose income support, we will be helped to 'apply for a different benefit if we are unable to secure paid work'. in other words they will shift us to unemployment benefit or incapacity rather than enable us to work at all.
usual rubbish.
How does that help get single parents back to work? it's practical support we need, we have always needed.

Well that was quick!! Are you going to be worse off?! The help is rubbish, after being made redundant and then having an op which put me on incapacity for 6 months, I got very little help in fining work, yes they gave me a named worker to assist me but she didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, no offers to retrain, which is what I would of liked, but with a mortgage to pay there was no way this was possible

[BrideXIII]

Well that was quick!! Are you going to be worse off?! The help is rubbish, after being made redundant and then having an op which put me on incapacity for 6 months, I got very little help in fining work, yes they gave me a named worker to assist me but she didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, no offers to retrain, which is what I would of liked, but with a mortgage to pay there was no way this was possible

I dont think we can technically be worse off, there is a minimum lvl required to live on, thats what we recieve, if we dont get that on another benefit, they are obliged to top it up ( like pensions) with income support anyway. I have been told i would actually be better off on incapacity benefit, but have no idea if i would qualify.
personally money is so tight, but I don't care, as long as i get what i get now, and can feed my kids, put clothes on their backs, and keep a roof over our head then thats fine with me.

when i had my last 'interview' i got the same as you, nothing, no help with finding work childcare etc ( you have to find all that yourself if it exsists), she just told me, 'if thats your situation we will not be forcing you out to work' , now it seems they will have no choice, even if that consists of just moving you onto a different benefit.
as far as re-training is concerned, they will only pay for it if they consider it will get you a job withing one year, you have to get on a course THEN apply,THEN they decide?? OU courses you have to pay for yourself, and although i would love to do one, i can't afford the fees.

[ailsasyl]

I agree with you entirely, and although it should make it better for me having TWO children, a sensible 14 yr old, and a not sensible at all 13 yr old both boys, it doesn't.
leaving two boys that age alone? the government can't be serious, my house would be destroyed, the neighbours would complain, I would be a mess worrying all day and no good at my job, and these are GOOD boys.
then there is the damage done to them, the stress laid on a 14 year old that he has to be responsible for the younger one? been there, did that, ruined my childhood, destroyed my self confidence, cos i was always in trouble cos the younger ones had played up. sorry. but i am not doing that to my son, or his brother.
When i had them i was married, i meant to bring them up properly, and I still intend to do so, even though through no fault of ours thsoe original circumstances have changed, and I'll do it despite a government/s that just do NOT seem to understand the real problems behind being a single parent.

Having two is a total different kettle of fish and knowing how siblings can argue I don't think I'd leave them alone either, I have my mum close by, however when HB was younger I worked 25 hours a week 8 till 1pm which was great as mum just took her to nursery and picked her up at 12.30, then they kept changing my shifts, ende up working more evening, packed it in after they offered split shifts 7.30am till 9am then 4pm till 9pm as this meant HB would not see me during the week she was 5 and at school when they offered me this, going to bed between 7.30 and eight meant mum would have to do all the work during the week!! Not why I became a parent, funnily enough my boss at the time was a woman who had been a single mum and couldn't see why I didn't want to do this as it worked for her, also mum has fibromyglia and at the time it was undiagnosed so was worse than she is now!!

[ailsasyl]

Bride you can get fees paid on OU if on benefits, or at least you did a few years back I have done two courses and not paid as was on income support for one and working tax for other

[BrideXIII]

tried that year before last, their argument was, 'only if we consider it will lead to a job after 12 months', seeing as most course last longer than that anyway, there didn't seem a lot of point, i would be better looking fotr something in my field and doing a good old college course with kids 3 times younger than me

quite frankly, a part time job behind a checkout would suit me, but it's the holidays that are the problem.

of course the news today that even good old woolworths have had trading suspended on their shares, and could concievably go into liquidation, is about the scariest news i have heard so far this week, i mean woolie is an institution for gods sake!

[ailsasyl]

holidays and when kids take sick is always the problem
HB been off mon and Tues thankfully i was off tues she on her on mon afternoon for a couple of hours, mum down the road though, spent most of her time talking to wayne on facebook both bored me thinks!!

[OverWyreGrower]

I've spent half the day on various websites working out if I can afford to try and get pregnant...

The answer is no. Our work has a pretty good maternity policy, but statutory maternity pay leaves a lot to be desired, as does the cost of childcare once you go back to work.

Whilst on maternity leave we'd be short £600 a month, and once I went back to work we'd have to find an extra £750 a month for full-time child care. It's just not going to happen, is it?

[BrideXIII]

well if you say that you will never do it.....not that you aksed for advice, but.......... if you want to get pregnant, go for it, everyone on here ( i imagine) will tell you, you will manage somehow.

[OverWyreGrower]

well if you say that you will never do it.....not that you aksed for advice, but.......... if you want to get pregnant, go for it, everyone on here ( i imagine) will tell you, you will manage somehow.

Everyone says that, but when I think about how tightly we budget to scrape by now, and then think about how we'd manage with only half my wage (when my gas and electric has gone up by 45% this quarter), it scares the carp outta me!

At the moment, we can't afford to buy a lot of food, and are living on a lot of what we call "jumble meals", which is whatever is in the freezer/cupboards, chucked together. I can't see how we would manage if we had even less money than we do now.

I'm also not happy about having to go back to work straight away, as I'd have to go back after my 18 weeks of full pay finish, but then I'd have to pay for full time child care.

Argh! It makes me want to burst into tears! Better go close my office door!

[jackie j]

I have been a single parent and was on income support. I had four boys and never thought I would end up single, I got married at 19 yrs had my first son at 25yrs and my last son at 32yrs I was married for 18 years before we split up, I didnt have my children for someone else to bring up and as my mum was elderly and my ex wouldnt look after them I had no choice, I managed to keep my house but had to pay my ex £10000 to stay put and me on income support, I had to raise the mortgage to do it but I wasnt working dont ask how, !!! I got a part time job with somerfield and could take the holidays off and after my 4 weeks paid holiday a year the rest was unpaid, my youngest was 5 at the time, but I could only earn £15 a week !!! after which my benefits would stop £ for £. I then met my OH and was able to work part time and he looked after my sons in the evenings. Then we had our daughter and I gave up work for a while but went back part time and moved to Tesco's where I am still working, If you can get a job with them they are quite considerate when it comes to child care and sometimes you can swap your shift. A while ago I worked days in term time then evenings during school holidays, now I just work one night a week.
As I said I didnt have my children for someone else to bring them up and have never been carreer minded but I have nearly always worked part time.
I am always at home when my daughter comes in from school and I think that is very important that a parent is there for them to discuss their day with. I was a latch key kid and I hated it and vowed my children never would be. I feel very lucky that my OH has a good job and doesnt mind me not working so much. I love being at home and being there for my kids. Not every one can do this.

[lynda66]

when i was little i walked 3 miles to and from school every day, from the age of 5, i had my own key round my neck, and had to peel spuds and veg for tea when i got home, so my mum could cook it when she got in at 6 ....... the school holidays i spent with my grandparents, and i wasn't allowed to be ill cos there was no one to look after me.

when i had my son, i couldn't even understand how i'd managed to survive that long, i swore he would never have the childhood i did, working was hard, i had no family round, and luckily he wasn't a sickly child, and his nursery were wonderful ...... they even said when chicken pox went round you may as well bring them in, cos the chances are all the kids will have it anyway, so unless they were really sick, he went to nursery ...... in those days, there was no help with childcare at all, family credit was for 6 months, so if you worked less hours and didn't get paid tuff

there was no help with my mortgage, and i had no alternative to work as many hours as i could. luckily i worked for some good employers, when he started school, he came to work with me in the mornings, i then dropped him off at school, then after school he and his friend got in a taxi, and were taken to the after school club at nursery.

then i met my ex, and wasn't allowed to work ....... and i realised how much i'd missed him ...... i do think the lack of childcare over 12 is awful, not all 12 year olds are capable of being left alone ...... so before the government start this they should make provisions for children over 12........ but as it's the government they just won't bother ........ wonder how soon they will change their minds when those on income support have to go on job seekers allowance, and the unemployment figures rise to more than twice what they are now, then with the redundancies etc and unsecure jobs the figures rise to 3 or even 4 times ...... i also got a letter today telling me they are going to find me a job how exciting ....... wonders how many emloyers will take me on, with a right arm that doesn't work properly, and when some days it takes me 2 hours to get out of bed, sitting in a chair for more than an hour is agony, standing for long periods is virtually impossible, and when my hands don't work or my legs ....... or even my brain ....... can't wait to see what they come up with.

[Capsid]

Big respect to you single parents, I'm truly humbled.