Unfortunate Varieties

[Lozzie]

I got the idea fromthis webpage and was inspired by the "vegetables not to google for" thread. All you have to do is make up a variety/cultivar of fruit, veg or flower that probably would never sell. Here's a few I made earlier (Warning! Some of these are kinda naughty):

Chilli Pepper "Ring of Fire" (probably named because of the after effects)
Watermelon "Jordan" (Needs to be grown in a very large greenhouse)
Haricot Beans "Gas Master" (No explanation needed)
Cucumber "Compensating For Something" (This cucumber grows very large. Ideal for the insecure male gardener)

[nick the grief]

I hate to disappoint you but there is a variety of chilli called Ring of fire!! Maybe you could have "PileDriver" instead

How about Brussel Sprout "trump tons" or
Gherkin Little Wil ...er better not go there

[Lozzie]

Really? Whoa. Well, great minds think alike! If I start growing chillies, I'm definately looking for that variety!

Strawberry "Beau Tritis" (has a distinctively mouldy flavour)
and a related variety,
Strawberry "Beau Tulism" (deadly delicious)

[Lozzie]

How about Brussel Sprout "trump tons" or
Gherkin Little Wil ...er better not go there

... or Cucumber "Spotted Dick?"

[multiveg]

My mum's name is a variety of swede and I married a January King-type cabbage. Should I be worried?

[smallblueplanet]

'Minnesota Midget' melons - yes and I'm growing them.....

[Lozzie]

Hehehe! You've got a thing for small melons, SBP?

Kidney Beans "Musical Fruit" (the more you eat....)
Rose "Mr Hankey" (the first ever truly brown rose?)
Cabbage "Tinman" ("If I only had a heart...")
Fig "Ex Lax" (for fast effective relief)

[andrewo]

There are certain gardeners you shouldn't google either, one that springs to mind is Gay Search (I'm such a child, everytime her name ever appeared on GW I chuckled).

[smallblueplanet]

Well Lozzie - I've not much room, so small melons will have to do!

...and I did google for melons & minnesota midget and..................eventually found some gardening sites! They grow to about tennis ball size and the vine they grow on is smaller than normal huge melons!!

[Lozzie]

Wow. Those are tiny. Maybe I should try those someday. I love melons, but I just can't eat a whole big one.

Rose "Golden Showers" (believe it or not, this one is real! Contrary to what the name suggests, these flowers are actually quite fragrant )

Lavender "Fathead" (For the egotistical gardener. Also a real cultivar!)