think before you post

[Chillimad]

I don't think your average paedophile will want the hassle of tracing kids via this forum. I know the names of just about every child (and dog, actually) on my street simply through hearing them called and would imagine that this is a far easier way for an unscrupulous person to gain information. Having said that, if someone has given details of their kids here then agrees to meet another member they should probably be a little cautious, a friend of mine ran into problems a few years ago in similar circumstances.

OOps, that knocks the joking out of this thread for me, maybee I/We were all wrong to mock fleursotheforest for his/her post, maybee they had a friend with a similar experience to you. I actually feel quite guilty about making a joking post now, as my 2 sons are the most precious things in my life

[citygirl]

Great idea,, can I be first to start it ?,, well chillimad6109 is number one son and chillimad6111 number 2 son,, secret password = cm=madman

i'll only end up needing a list. my memory is shocking

[bluemoon]

OOps, that knocks the joking out of this thread for me, maybee I/We were all wrong to mock fleursotheforest for his/her post, maybee they had a friend with a similar experience to you. I actually feel quite guilty about making a joking post now, as my 2 sons are the most precious things in my life

Sorry, I didn't mean to worry anyone. My friend was a member of a forum (not a gardening one) and it was very friendly and, as has happened here, people decided to meet. Unfortunately one particular person only turned up when the parents of boys aged around 12/13 were due to be there. This person, it turns out, was well known to the police who were tracking his internet use and the site was warned before any harm was done. But as my friend had a son of the 'right' age, and as she had been to one of these meets, and as she was a single parent and therefore probably more susceptible to this chap trying to intercept her life, things could have turned out badly (he was a bit of a charmer by all accounts, spent a lot of time chatting to her and asked to see her again away from the get together, but then these people are very good at what they do) I still don't think that generally chatting about our kids - in my case, Grandkids - though is any more dangerous than calling them in for tea.

[beaufontboy]

I think its a case of being realistic and sensible, names are available on the street or on the school web site !!

[HeyWayne]

As I am as yet sans offspring I can't yet comment on how I feel about my children, but I can speculate.

I appreciate the intention of fleurs post, but I for one do not believe cotton wool kids benefit anyone in the long term, and once again - this is no new phenomenon.

When I was younger I actually won a competition to design a poster that advocated the "say no to strangers" campaign (I won £4 savings - which I never touched, and have never seen since, I met the Mayor and had my photo taken for the local paper). A few years prior to that - when I was 7-8, my Mum had arranged for our new next door neighbours son and his friends to come and pick me up from school as she couldn't make it (I didn't know this at the time). I was not sure about him, so ran all the way home with him and his mates in hot pursuit. I crossed busy roads and ran through alleyways, not stopping until I got home.

Education goes a long way to making kids safe.

[jackie j]

You cant wrap your kids in cotton wool they need to be street savy to stay safe and like others have said its not always strangers that they should be aware of.
I have always told my kids to tell me where, when and who with they know they are going to be grounded if they lie to me. At least most kids have mobile phones now so can call if worried, a luxury we didnt have, and we didnt have a land phone either.
I live acroos the road from a senior school and the kids hang around when they should be in school, I recently phoned the school to inform them that two girls and two boys were being rather noisy and using a lot of bad language, school sent two teachers to catch them and as the kids were walking back one of the girls was doing up the other ones bra. !!!
Yesterday I took my grandson to the park, where two boys and one girl were sitting on the swings the girl on one of the boys laps and I found it quite embarassing they looked about 11 years old.
We get messages sent to our phones and letters sent by post if the kids dont register if you havent bothered to let them know of any absents asking where they are/were.

[tootles]

Fleur, Dear god woman, Get a grip....
People like you, fussing over things that VERY rarely happen, are spoiling our childrens childhood.
Yes, something bad may happen - It doesn't mean that it will.
When I was a child we were taught about "stranger danger" and not to go with or accept sweets from strangers. Children nowadays are taught to shout paedophile at the drop of a hat. Children need to learn self reliance and they need freedom in order to do this. My children (3 of them aged between 6 and 9) walk 1 1/2 miles to the shop for bread etc and no I am not concerned that they will be "abused" or even abducted by aliens. And, yes they have had accidents, last year no.2 son fell off his bike and spent 3 days in hospital and has a magnificent scar to show for it, this has not stopped him from going out - and nor will it.
Those of us trying to bring up children have a hard enough time of it these days without having panic inducing scaremongers like you to contend with.

Rant over.
Tx

[squashysu]

Fleur, Dear god woman, Get a grip....
People like you, fussing over things that VERY rarely happen, are spoiling our childrens childhood.
Yes, something bad may happen - It doesn't mean that it will.
When I was a child we were taught about "stranger danger" and not to go with or accept sweets from strangers. Children nowadays are taught to shout paedophile at the drop of a hat. Children need to learn self reliance and they need freedom in order to do this. My children (3 of them aged between 6 and 9) walk 1 1/2 miles to the shop for bread etc and no I am not concerned that they will be "abused" or even abducted by aliens. And, yes they have had accidents, last year no.2 son fell off his bike and spent 3 days in hospital and has a magnificent scar to show for it, this has not stopped him from going out - and nor will it.
Those of us trying to bring up children have a hard enough time of it these days without having panic inducing scaremongers like you to contend with.

Rant over.
Tx

Tootles, sorry but i think thats a bit harsh, Fleur was only thinking of others, and the truth of the matter is that it is getting more common or the knowledge of it is, especially after my son had his biked robbed off him last week!!

I honestly think Fleur was only being kind and thinking of others, we dont need to take any advice from others, its our decision what we decide to do and obviously you feel extremely safe where you live. I dont wrap my kids in cotton wool, but the world is becoming a scarier place to live....

I just think it wa a strange post to add as the majority of us here are adults and it is a forum for growing veg etc.

SS

[tootles]

You are probably right SS. It is just one those things that bugs me. The more we look for the bad stuff, the more we will find - or think we find. Children need to find their own feet, and this is becoming increasingly difficult.
Some yeasr ago, whilst out with my own children, I found a small child, about 3yrs old, crying. I asked her what was wrong and where was her mummy. She said she was lost, I asked what her mummy looked like, and we found her. I was holding the girls hand and when the mother saw us she ran towards us and snatched her away. No thanks just a very vicious "don't touch my child". While I appreciate she didn't know the situation, she could have asked. She assumed I was up to no good. I am still very upset and affronted by this.
But you are of course right ss, and it is a very odd thing to put here, of all places.
Tx

[Chillimad]

Tootles, sorry but i think thats a bit harsh, Fleur was only thinking of others, and the truth of the matter is that it is getting more common or the knowledge of it is, especially after my son had his biked robbed off him last week!!

I honestly think Fleur was only being kind and thinking of others, we dont need to take any advice from others, its our decision what we decide to do and obviously you feel extremely safe where you live. I dont wrap my kids in cotton wool, but the world is becoming a scarier place to live....

I just think it wa a strange post to add as the majority of us here are adults and it is a forum for growing veg etc.

SS

I have 2 boys aged 9 and 11, My neighbour recently commended me on not allowing them to troll the streets at night like so many other children around here do.

I do not wrap them in cotton wool but, they do not stray too far, and are always in contact with there mobiles, in at 6:00 without fail

Things have changed since I was a boy, in those days you never heard of paedo's although they obviously were around, there was not the traffic there is nowadays, kids in general were not bullies and thiefs as unfortunately some are now.

I thought that you had kids to love and care for not to shove on the streets from early morning to last thing at night, like so many round here are..

Sorry just my opinion..

[squashysu]

I have 2 boys aged 9 and 11, My neighbour recently commended me on not allowing them to troll the streets at night like so many other children around here do.

I do not wrap them in cotton wool but, they do not stray too far, and are always in contact with there mobiles, in at 6:00 without fail

Things have changed since I was a boy, in those days you never heard of paedo's although they obviously were around, there was not the traffic there is nowadays, kids in general were not bullies and thiefs as unfortunately some are now.

I thought that you had kids to love and care for not to shove on the streets from early morning to last thing at night, like so many round here are..

Sorry just my opinion..

i totally agree with you - the old days were the good ones and it is a shame for our kids to have to put up with today, dont be sorry your opinion totally counts, we are all entitled to one x

You are probably right SS. It is just one those things that bugs me. The more we look for the bad stuff, the more we will find - or think we find. Children need to find their own feet, and this is becoming increasingly difficult.
Some yeasr ago, whilst out with my own children, I found a small child, about 3yrs old, crying. I asked her what was wrong and where was her mummy. She said she was lost, I asked what her mummy looked like, and we found her. I was holding the girls hand and when the mother saw us she ran towards us and snatched her away. No thanks just a very vicious "don't touch my child". While I appreciate she didn't know the situation, she could have asked. She assumed I was up to no good. I am still very upset and affronted by this.
But you are of course right ss, and it is a very odd thing to put here, of all places.
Tx

I too would have been very upset by that situation, i work with kids and it annoys the hell out of me that I have to sit through child protection meetings every year, my sister is a social worker and the things she has had to deal with is horrific, and yes you are right to have your opinion as well, i just thought your words were a bit harsh, but i do understand where you were coming from x

[HeyWayne]

Some yeasr ago, whilst out with my own children, I found a small child, about 3yrs old, crying. I asked her what was wrong and where was her mummy. She said she was lost, I asked what her mummy looked like, and we found her. I was holding the girls hand and when the mother saw us she ran towards us and snatched her away. No thanks just a very vicious "don't touch my child". While I appreciate she didn't know the situation, she could have asked. She assumed I was up to no good. I am still very upset and affronted by this.
Tx

Which is why unfortunately people (especially men) are reluctant to help a small child they may see in distress.

[areia]

i had a situation 2 years ago with my son he was riding his bike along the promanade (oo posh word prolly spelt wrong though ) and the decided to tear off and put his front brakes on too hard and went flying over the top ok i could still see him and the fact he was crying let me know he was ok, 2 elderly people who saw and were closer than me rushed to him and made a fuss which was really sweet, i was around 100 yards away i could see him, its hard when your child has aspergers and try to get them to listen he does get a little carried away and it has taken longer than the average child to make him understand dangers. but i cant wrap him up in cotton wool, but the thing that got me was the woman passing by with her 2 kids screaming at me saying omg hes broken his arm your so irresponsable, i just wanted to tell her to shut up amongst other things as she wasnt helping the situation making him more upset, i know my child, i knew he was ok, he had some deep grazes and a very dented pride, but he was fine, ten mins later he was on his bike again and he was much more careful, if i was a really bad mother i would of not been with him, i still think the generousity of the old couple who helpt pick him up was something we dont get anymore, i thanked them and their attitude was well he wont do that in a hurry and we had a giggle after through a few snivels, society has always been like this, its just the media highlighting the dangers more, which is not always a bad thing, but it does make people a little more paranoid

[MrsC]

well, got to agree with some parts of all the above posts. society has gone to the extreme in my opinion, paedo's, bullies etc etc have always existed, only now it isn't kept 'within the family' or 'behind closed doors' so to speak, not that i mean peado's shouldn't get what they deserve or that i put the latter in the same category. our children are primed to report any sort of harrassment etc (being kids i call it in the majority of cases) and never have the experience of 'not being the winner.' only the parents can change that in my opinion in respect of how their child/children cope with that. hope you understand what i mean.

[di]

Which is why unfortunately people (especially men) are reluctant to help a small child they may see in distress.

the fact that me& andi are only5'5''and abit(me a slightly bigger bit!)your help would be much appreciated when the kiddies are being a little over ambitious on the climbing walls! sorry to make light of a situation,but totally get what you're saying&although i'll readilly admit to being one of those paranoid mums who eyes every stranger with the same suspicion I long to go back to a day where the media haven't tainted our minds with the thought that every unknown is a danger!a scary world made unnecessarily scarier by an OTT media.