The Good Wife's Guide....

[Minty]

I've just been watching the "Big Dig" being repeated on UKTV Gardens, think it's on again tonight at 2000.

Anyway, someone asked one of the Welsh allotmenteers why there were so few women, and he said " well they aren't barred but you know the soil is really heavy and so its very hard work and they could come and help their husbands....but to have an allotment requires dedication" or words to that effect!!! I nearly choked on my tea!!

I AGREE ENTIRELY !!!!! And as protest to such sexism may i reccomend that all lady grapes turn up at my allotment, burn their bras then skim off and deep dig the last third of my jungle/allotment......all in the name of equality.............AWWWW GO ON
Minty

[gardenplot]

Or you hold him down and I'll wax his b****ks.

LOL got to watch this one

[Seahorse]

I AGREE ENTIRELY !!!!! And as protest to such sexism may i reccomend that all lady grapes turn up at my allotment, burn their bras then skim off and deep dig the last third of my jungle/allotment......all in the name of equality.............AWWWW GO ON
Minty

ROTFL! Nice try Minty!!!

[Minty]

Minty hun - if we all turned up and did that there would be nothing left for you to do and just were would the satisfaction be in that eh!

HMMMMMM LET ME THINK

[Shortie]

I AGREE ENTIRELY !!!!! And as protest to such sexism may i reccomend that all lady grapes turn up at my allotment, burn their bras then skim off and deep dig the last third of my jungle/allotment......all in the name of equality.............AWWWW GO ON
Minty

Cuppa tea now sprayed across laptop

[Minty]

Cuppa tea now sprayed across laptop

SORRY, How do you explain that one to PC WORLD Insurance????

[MrsC]

Oh dear, thought Geo was the one in trouble, looks like it's you now Minty! Beware of the ladies! We stick together, don't we girls! lol

[bubblewrap]

I say Compost him or off with his head or better still make him the "Good wife for a week"

Castration with a rusty blunt razor blade

[momol]

Geo..

What a baby .
Are you still in trouble Geo ? Runnnnn .

[SarzWix]

The Good Wife's Guide

From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.


* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed. I cook dinner, he comes in & says "I'm not hungry, I had a pie on the way home"

* Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Actually, he's been driving round in a lovely peacful car, on his own, listening to Harry Potter audio CDs

* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. I'm always 'gay & interesting'

* Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables. A lot of the clutter is his. If I tidy it away he just yells 'Where have you hidden my ... ??!!'
* During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. No, leaving the fire for him to light panders to his neanderthal instincts

* Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet. I always encourage the children to be quiet, in fact my favourite phrase is "Will you all shut the hell up??!!" (Fortissimo, obviously)
* Be happy to see him.

* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Sincerity is my middle name

* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. What could I have to say that could possibly be more important than the Zzzzzzz sounds coming from the chair in the corner?

* Don't greet him with complaints and problems. See above

* Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work. won't complain, just change the locks...

* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. See Zzzzz comment above

* Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. If I took his shoes off, I wouldn't be able to speak at all, coz I'd be out cold from the narsty niff....

* Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. Ahhhh, poor thing, he thinks he's in charge... how wrong he is!

* A good wife always knows her place.Yes, it's standing on the b*****x of the bloke who wrote this!!

Geo..

..........

[Hazel at the Hill]

Nice one, Sarah!

[Shortie]

Fab one Sarah!!

I already have my little boy well trained. If you ask him who's the boss it's Mummy and he'll argue with anyone who tries to tell him otherwise

[everdream78]

I got an email the other day with an excerpt from a 1940s guide to employing women during WW2 - when I find it I'll post it as it's in a very similar vein and my chin has yet to get off the floor!

[moggssue]

Words fail me - and THATS a first!!!! ....

[Flummery]

However, I'd like to see a Good Husband's guide from the same era. I expect there's serious stuff about the little woman's frailty and how you have to do all the hard jobs and look after and cherish her.
What staggers me is that the dim bints fell for it! Derserve treating like a doormat if you lie in front of the door, doncha?