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Quickest/Easiest/Fastest Way to Dispatch?

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  • #1

    Quickest/Easiest/Fastest Way to Dispatch?

    Any suggestions as to the best way two lightweight cowards can dispatch 5 huge chunky cockerels?

    We've been let down by the original buyer who was going to take our cockerels, then by a BOP owner who was going to have the birds for his eagle, and finally by two big hearty blokes from a neighbouring farm who came to do the deed and decided they couldn't......bless.

    So, it's just DD and me left to deal with these bruisers who are driving us nuts with their noise and bullying our precious girls.

    What's the easiest/quickest/fastest method for both the boys and us?

    Jules
    Jules

    Coffee. Garden. Coffee. Does a good morning need anything else?

    ♥ Nutter in a Million & Royal Nutter by Appointment to HRH VC ♥

    Althoughts - The New Blog (updated with bridges)
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  • #2
    Gather together these things. Two large brandies, a bit of very heavy wood , a razor sharp knife and your courage (a piece of metal i.e. a poker will do instead of the wood)
    One of you take a cockerel in your arms, you can put a dark sock over his head so he stays calm, hold him out a bit in front of you whilst the other whacks him solidly on the back of his head(Don't tap, hit hard!) then hold him upside down and cut each side of his neck with the knife and hang him upside down to bleed. The first one will be the worst and the rest will not be much easier.
    Just keep telling yourselves what a relief it will be when it's all over.
    Good luck!

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    • #3
      Bromstick!
      For those with the physical strength and experience, the traditional version is fastest (grab feet in one hand, back of head in the other, and pull sharply in just the right manner), but for lesser mortals the broomstick replaces a fair amount of the strength and 'acquired knack' needed.
      It's been described a few times on threads.
      Some people prefer a 'gadget', but I am not convinced these don't allow the bird a chance to get panicky. With the broomstick method the bird is held head downwards for a few seconds (which seems to depanic them) and then it is all over!
      Flowers come in too many colours to see the world in black-and-white.

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      • #4
        I'm with Polly. Sharp whack to the back of the head. My Dads hold them upside down by their feet for a couple of minutes, to calm them, first. He can do it on his own, but Mr. G and I do it together; I hold the bird, he gives it a sharp 'whack' or two. Over in seconds.

        I have a 'big burly' friend who can't do the deed either, so he lets his loose for the Fox to get!

        Good luck with it. Do let us know how you get on. I hope they're going in our freezer? Remember, were here for moral support.
        Last edited by Glutton4...; 10-11-2010, 11:09 AM.
        All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
        Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

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        • #5
          Broomstick method here too....

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          • #6
            The snag with a 'whack on the head' is that most people find it difficult to whack hard enough first time. There is also the bloody mess (literal, not swearing!)
            Flowers come in too many colours to see the world in black-and-white.

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            • #7
              A neighbour has suggested using an air pistol? He's got one we can use, but he's not able to do it himself. DD knows how to use an air gun, but we aren't sure about this as a method as we know nothing about it.

              What does everyone think?

              Jules
              Jules

              Coffee. Garden. Coffee. Does a good morning need anything else?

              ♥ Nutter in a Million & Royal Nutter by Appointment to HRH VC ♥

              Althoughts - The New Blog (updated with bridges)

              Comment

              • #8
                Originally posted by julesapple View Post
                A neighbour has suggested using an air pistol? He's got one we can use, but he's not able to do it himself. DD knows how to use an air gun, but we aren't sure about this as a method as we know nothing about it.

                What does everyone think?

                Jules
                You would have to be a very, very good shot to get a clean kill with an air rifle.
                Happy Gardening,
                Shirley

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                • #9
                  Nope. Sorry, not an option I'd choose.
                  All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
                  Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by shirlthegirl43 View Post
                    You would have to be a very, very good shot to get a clean kill with an air rifle.
                    It's an air pistol, and the neighbour said it would need to be point blank range - which is what we find off-putting in a lot of ways. The only advantage we can think of is the instantaneousness, in theory anyway. DD found a USA forum where this method is favoured but we have our doubts.

                    Jules
                    Jules

                    Coffee. Garden. Coffee. Does a good morning need anything else?

                    ♥ Nutter in a Million & Royal Nutter by Appointment to HRH VC ♥

                    Althoughts - The New Blog (updated with bridges)

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      I wouldn't like to say it would be instant. Madmax shot a magpie in the garden a few years back as it was terrorising the dog. He is a superb marksman and got the bird right through the eye, he still had to shoot it again to kill it though and he was most distressed afterwards.
                      Happy Gardening,
                      Shirley

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                      • #12
                        Take them to your local butcher, ring him/her up first.
                        Feed the soil, not the plants.
                        (helps if you have cluckies)

                        Man v Squirrels, pigeons & Ants
                        Bob

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                        • #13
                          Husband uses a broomstick for bigger birds, sometimes the length between holding the legs and the neck at full stretch, is to much of a reach so he has no option also the head is down by your feet, not quite so distressing.
                          Do you have a local game keeper, if you offered him a bird perhaps he would do it for you.

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                          • #14
                            I used the broomstick method and I think that's probably the way I'll do all the boys in future. Very quick and not distressing for either of us at all
                            My girls found their way into my heart and now they nest there

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                            • #15
                              maybe this is why I should not have chickens I am a wimp they are pets to me, it would be the vets for me if ill, I feel quesy reading the post, this is the reality of keeping chickens

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