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  • Feeling overwhelmed - please help

    Hi all

    Although I have been lurking on this site and in these threads for some time this is my first post so please be gentle...and please feel free to move me elsewhere if I have posted in the wrong place!

    A bit of background

    I have a five perch plot on Romney Marsh a fifteen minute drive from home. This was a birthday present to me and this is our fourth season. My husband and I both work full time and knew right from the start that we had to take a sensible approach to make the allotment manageable and enjoyable, an enhancement and not a chore! I did lots of reading around the subject and we listened to advice from those with allotments on the same site.

    We hacked down weeds and long grass and strimmed and mowed to get a feel for the space. We decided rather than weed kill and rotavate the whole area we would dig out individual beds to make things more manageable. We have double dug and manured each bed once and now have six individual beds approx 4m x 1m with grass paths in between. We have also dug out an approx 3m x 3m bed intended for fruit (we intended to use our old gazebo frame as a fruit cage.) We have a huge water tank and have set up a drip irrigation system on a timer.

    In the past we have grown potatoes, onions, garlic, beans, courgettes, cabbages and broccoli to some success. I love to grow from seed at home and then transplant young plants into the allotment as yet I have not direct sown anything (not sure if that is relevant or not - but I'm purging so in it goes!)

    The dilemma...

    DH and I are currently going through a massive guilt trip about how little progress we are making just to stay on top of things - let alone the "nice to haves" that are pending. Due to a severe depressive episode I have changed jobs relatively recently and now have to work alternate weekends although I do have one set day off in the week (but don't always have use of the car). This obviously really impacts on our free time and with the best will in the world the unpredictable weather means that whole weekends can be rained off meaning that its a fortnight before we can both get down there again. He has been going down there on his own on the in between weekends (weather permitting) but it seems each time we go it's like starting from scratch with the weeding. We'll have a massive weeding purge, wear ourselves out and next time we go it looks as if we have never been.

    It has been suggested that perhaps we should give it up. I literally feel quite depressed at the thought (hence pouring my heart out in this post!) but have to counterbalance that with how disheartening it has felt this season in particular and the enormous guilt trip with each weekend that passes when we don't visit and the dread of what is facing us when we do.

    Can any of you wise old sages throw me a lifeline? I have been mooching around on here last night and again since 7 this morning and have already thought about getting rid of my grass paths - but that seems like it's adding yet another job to the list. I feel encouraged when I look back at what I have grown in the past and what is currently in the ground so I feel the situation is retrievable I just don't know where to start. It's going to fall mostly to me now to be the strong one and forge a way forward because it seems DH has had enough.

    Sorry this has turned into "War and Peace" - if you are still awake after reading this I would be gratified to hear your advice, suggestions and motivational comments

  • #2
    I think I'm in a similar position to yourself, NC. I have a main plot and part of a second one - 10 deep beds on the first and some fruit bushes and trees on the second with a lot of weeds. I was forging ahead before the hot spell and then found it too hot to work and the weeds took over both plots. Then the council got a work gang to tidy up round the site and I visited one week to find the whole lot strimmed over. However underneath all that there are my deep beds still, and most of them are quite easy to fork over.

    My solution, for me, is to see if I can get some regular paid help ... all I need is someone to do a couple of hours a week to help me out with the heavier work (I am a pensioner after all ) When I did this a few years ago plot no 1 was a joy to work and took no time at all to hoe the weeds. I am also keen on mulching as much as possible and to that end I have a pile of well rotted wood chippings standing by my plot- they were delivered for free by a tree surgeon I saw working in the neighbourhood.

    One of the best sources of advice can be found in supersprout's thread - will try and add a link to this

    Here it is

    http://www.growfruitandveg.co.uk/gra...ent_47121.html
    Last edited by Jeanied; 13-08-2014, 08:45 AM.
    Whooops - now what are the dogs getting up to?

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    • #3
      Thank you for your kind words Jeanie. I have just made tea and toast and am going to spend a few guilt free minutes munching and reading the link to Supersprout's allotment!

      NC x

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      • #4
        The thread that Jeanies linked is brilliant. Next time you go to the plot arm yourself with as much cardboard as you can find. Cover the lot and weigh down with manure, grass clippings or anything else you can get your hands on. Weed sections at a time and when you do plant up, (same as you, I rarely sow direct ) mulch around your new plants with damp newspapers topped with grass clippings etc.
        Good luck it gets easier over time!

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        • #5
          You are obviously tired as well. What are the other plot holders like? Are they at all supportive? How much freedom do you have as to what you can grow? It does sound to me as if you have done all the hard work and might be about to give up just when it might get easier. I'm not an allotmenter but I know how many compromises I have had to make just to fit in round work, It is amazing how liberating it can be just to go - right I won't do that anymore (in my case lunar planting even though I think it is worth it really). For example sheets of cardboard with pumpkins and squash planted through them look great, can cover a huge space and there's no weeding and if you don't like squash you can compost the lot!

          Seriously look at no dig and green manures from now on as well.

          I'm sure there will be lots of advice along over the next few days - don't expect it all today! In the mean time why not update your profile with your location and maybe use the introduce yourself forum to tell us a bit of the more positive side of yourself and your gardening. Whatever, good luck.
          "A life lived in fear is a life half lived."

          PS. I just don't have enough time to say hello to everyone as they join so please take this as a delighted to see you here!

          Comment


          • #6
            Hello Nanny Chicken, I'll come back later, but just to pick up on one of your points, I to had 'grass path' and yes they were nice, but high maintenance and the weeds wud encroach into beds, and my strimmer only lasted a year. So I put black weed suppressant down, and chippings on top, ( we are lucky, get them delivered to our site). But this has made things much easier fir me, yes the odd weed will still grow thru the chippings, but easy to pull out.

            I did this during last winter, so started in the Spring feeling more in control.

            I'll be back later.
            Last edited by Dorothy rouse; 13-08-2014, 09:40 AM.
            DottyR

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            • #7
              You could try putting weed suppressant on your beds and then making holes in this to plant through since you don't sow direct. This should also reduce water evaporation in warm weather
              What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
              Pumpkin pi.

              Comment


              • #8
                Hello NC & welcome to the vine. I agree with what has already been said. I see 3 choices:

                1. Give it up altogether (a tough decision to make).
                2. See if you can get a smaller plot that may be more manageable.
                3. Take loads of cardboard & newspaper (maybe black plastic) & cover the areas you are not working on that is weedy. Weigh the covered areas down & when you come to work those areas, the weeds will be almost if not all dead.

                Good luck & like you say, it has to be a pleasure not a chore.
                Last edited by Bigmallly; 13-08-2014, 10:34 AM.
                sigpic“Gorillas are very intelligent, but they don't have to be as delicate as chimps -- they can just smash open the termite nest,”
                --------------------------------------------------------------------
                Official Member Of The Nutters Club - Rwanda Branch.
                -------------------------------------------------------------------
                Sent from my ZX Spectrum with no predictive text..........
                -----------------------------------------------------------
                KOYS - King Of Yellow Stickers..............

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi Nanny Chicken, welcome to the Vine. Sounds like you've been bottling things up for a while so I hope that typing your heartfelt post is a problem shared, problem halved!


                  The detail you put in the post is wonderful and I wonder if you would describe your personality as a perfectionist? I only ask because I find gardening anything but perfection. There are members on the vine who achieve very high levels with their plots but I'm way below that, yet still very happy with what I produce.

                  There is a plot close to me that looks wonderful, good crops, few weeds and mown grass paths. I used to covert that plot until I realised the couple lived next to it and visit more than once each day. They also have lots of dense established fruit bushes that have nothing more than a mulch to keep weeds down, another area is potatoes planted closely so no weeds either. A strawberry patch that is overstocked to no light gets between and weeds can't grow.

                  I can't keep weeds away and don't attempt to completely get rid of them. I do try and reduce them (and would do more if I could) but, for instance, my onion bed at home gets covered with rampant chickweed and weill only be lightly weeded once a season yet still produces onions I'm satisfied with.

                  As others have said, covering the ground around plants can keep weeds away but finding material like cardboard or chippings or compost etc. can be difficult and often involve hard work to bring onto the plot. My solution was a cheap roll of black bin liners from the supermarket. A couple of pounds and I had 100 pieces of coverings held down with a bit of soil (bury the edges). You can make holes in them to plant through or use a couple either side of an existing plant. Water runs off the edges even if I use a few bags to make a larger area. I used these for many years on potatoes and never once added.

                  Lots more I could say but top of that list is to decide what plants you enjoy eating and get pleasure from. Try and concentrate on those.

                  If you can't get to the plot regularly don't grow courgettes but grow slower maturing winter squashes. Cover the ground with large areas of closer down perpetual spinach (I've never weeded mine!).

                  Most seeds have an "optimum" spacing but you can plant closer to exclude light from weeds underneath, the crop might be slightly smaller but still satisfies me!


                  Good Luck!
                  The proof of the growing is in the eating.
                  Leave Rotten Fruit.
                  Nitrogen, Phosphorus, Potasium - potash.
                  Autant de têtes, autant d'avis!!!!!
                  Il n'est si méchant pot qui ne trouve son couvercle.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi all

                    Many, many thanks for the replies and suggestions so far. I feel better already :-) That link is a real inspiration. I have access to as much card as I want and I did buy green manure in the Wyvale 50p promotion last year!

                    Marchogaeth - your kind words made me well up - soppy date that I am (and yes probably also a bit tired!) We can grow anything, we are surrounded by nice people and you made me think about a really enthusiastic allotment holder who is at his plot every day for most of the day who also drinks in our local (not that we have been there recently - we might have to plan a special trip!) who I am sure would fill up the water container for us during the week. That would be a weight off my mind.

                    I really want to believe that we have broken the back of it. Right from the start we have been so aware of not overwhelming ourselves that I felt we had a really sensible, measured approach. It has been such an odd year weather wise that we can't be the only ones facing waist high weeds in a matter of a couple of weeks surely? Doesn't make my plot easier to manage but there's a strange comfort in us all being in it together.

                    We were given a really decent sized shed two or three months ago and I have been hanging onto the premiss that once the shed is up and we can store stuff in there rather than filling the car up each time then that will make a tremendous difference on both a practical and mental level. But with all the weeding etc etc clearing the space and erecting the shed is currently on the "nice to have" list. Perhaps it's time to elevate the shed to the "next job" list while I can still muster a modicum of enthusiasm from the other half?

                    I have actually planted my brassicas through cardboard this year but didn't think to use it on the uncultivated parts of the plot. I have not put anything on top of it though as a mulch - again the new composting area is on the "nice to have" list. We have bags and bags of kitchen waste, spent seedling compost and chicken run waste just waiting to be composted. My old compost bin is full of decent stuff - shall I just empty that onto the cardboard brassica beds? It needs emptying anyway to make room for the new composters.

                    Thanks again for your kind and encouraging words.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thanks Bigmallly and teakdesk - as you can tell by the time I had composed my first reply I had had two more replies from you guys - so am I a perfectionist - probably (blush!) - message received and understood :-)

                      Its a bit addictive this purging isn't it?

                      Thanks again x

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        We're all in the same boat NC, trying to work with nature yet battling with it at the same time.
                        sigpic“Gorillas are very intelligent, but they don't have to be as delicate as chimps -- they can just smash open the termite nest,”
                        --------------------------------------------------------------------
                        Official Member Of The Nutters Club - Rwanda Branch.
                        -------------------------------------------------------------------
                        Sent from my ZX Spectrum with no predictive text..........
                        -----------------------------------------------------------
                        KOYS - King Of Yellow Stickers..............

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Nanny Chicken View Post
                          Marchogaeth - We can grow anything, we are surrounded by nice people and you made me think about a really enthusiastic allotment holder who is at his plot every day for most of the day who also drinks in our local (not that we have been there recently - we might have to plan a special trip!) who I am sure would fill up the water container for us during the week. That would be a weight off my mind.
                          I'm glad you are starting to see the positives and options.

                          Now you are gardening on the web, have a look at lasagne beds it really sounds like you have all the ingredients to make a few. Do search through The Vine for ideas. Our search facility is a bit grim but if you search for say:- weed control cardboard growyourown.com in goggle you might find it easier and you will get lots of links back to here.

                          I didn't want to say before but is it too far to cycle? Nothing like exercise to get the endorphins going and cycling followed by "a garden" would be a double whammy!
                          Last edited by marchogaeth; 13-08-2014, 12:08 PM.
                          "A life lived in fear is a life half lived."

                          PS. I just don't have enough time to say hello to everyone as they join so please take this as a delighted to see you here!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by marchogaeth View Post
                            I didn't want to say before but is it too far to cycle? Nothing like exercise to get the endorphins going
                            He he............I read that as earphones.................
                            sigpic“Gorillas are very intelligent, but they don't have to be as delicate as chimps -- they can just smash open the termite nest,”
                            --------------------------------------------------------------------
                            Official Member Of The Nutters Club - Rwanda Branch.
                            -------------------------------------------------------------------
                            Sent from my ZX Spectrum with no predictive text..........
                            -----------------------------------------------------------
                            KOYS - King Of Yellow Stickers..............

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              If you put compost on top of cardboard cover it with something, grass clippings, straw etc or the weed seeds will germinate and you will be back to square one. Most of us don't get a compost heap hot enough to kill all the weed seeds, and get rid of those grass paths.

                              Keep going and the best of luck.
                              Gardening requires a lot of water - most of it in the form of perspiration. Lou Erickson, critic and poet

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