just for fun - alternative definitions

[Lumpy]

plant pot - hide substance in garden to avoid detection by the Police

[Greenleaves]

^^^ or..container in shed for emergencies!

[bikermike]

shed - junk-attracting device

plot fencing - swordfighting with your neighbour

[Lumpy]

bind weed - the skinny plot holder that knows all the rules and regs by heart and pulls you up when you do something wrong 4 times a day

[Snoop Puss]

Mare's tail - a horror story

[bikermike]

hot composting - making growing matter from stolen property...

chicken run - legging it when you accidentally break the burly plot-holder's greenhouse

[Snoop Puss]

Plot - conspiracy to sell allotment sites to property developers

[Miss Mousetrousers]

Polytunnel - an outside aviary for hardy parrots.
Pruning - comes from lying in the bath too long.
Root cutting - similar to root canal work but not as painful.
Fan training - showing off all your gardening knowledge to total beginners.
Turfing - getting rid of unwanted visitors on your plot.

[Snoop Puss]

Fence - person who buys and sells purloined produce

[bikermike]

Water Butt - n (American) like tennis elbow, but caused by standing in the rain too much. and not affecting the elbow...

[Lumpy]

Rake - coined in the 1700's to mean a very decadent and immoral person

[bikermike]

Lawn Rake - a dissolute person on grass. usually found at Ascot or similar

[Snoop Puss]

Spade - shorthand for: it is what it is
Fork - a ruder version of: it is what it is

[Mr Bones]

Runoff - impromptu response to an alarming situation
Slug - hasty drink from a bottle without first decanting into a glass or mug
Fork handles - the term that prompts groups of men into repeating the same phrase

[bikermike]

insects - to be in small religious groupings. probably holding a prayer meeting in your shed...