Bashful Bill - update thread

[di]

I agree, he does need to see that sometimes his sister messes up. It's balanced out now, both mine can be as good or evil as the other, but I do think, when Ash went through his worst 'phase', a lot of it seemed to be frustration that he'd never be as perfect as his sister and if he wanted my attention he had to earn it by being as foul as he could..

[di]

Maybe a better way to phrase it would be, he became despondant that he'd never be as good as his sister so just carried on doing what he did best....and at the time, that was acting up.

[Glutton4...]

I think you may be right, Di. My Sister's lad was a little swine for his Mum. Any attention is better than no attention - so misbehaving is a guaranteed way of getting that attention - it is far easier than being well behaved, because that doesn't bring enough reward, as far as they are concerned. Thankfully, he is now a perfectly normal 20 year old.

[Finedon.Dandy]

He had a good day at school but was late going in as he was a mare and had to be restrained twice and spent a total of 1 hour on the naughty spot (he kept getting off) for just 1 time out

His blood tests have come back normal but cant speed process up as doctor isnt there tomorrow which must be why she said she would ring me Friday....

[rustylady]

I know he is little Tammy, but have you tried asking him why he behaves like this? He may not be able to articulate his feelings, but maybe he could give you some clues?

[jackie j]

Hi Tammy well done for taking the first step, what does concern me is that your OH doesnt seem to come to these appointments with you. Its hard I know when a parent works long hours and is away from home, I really think this should be something you do together, not just telling him over the phone or when he gets in.
I have been a lone parent and with four boys and its hard. You are two parents and you need his support in attending appointments cos he might think of something or be able to ask a question that you havent thought about.
I hope I havent upset you by saying this cos thats not my intention.
Hugs to you and BB.

[Finedon.Dandy]

MARVELOUS day

Changed morning routine - leave him to sleep whilst I sort the three girls, then I can concentrate on keeping him on the straight n narrow - really worked this am

Had a good meeting with my homestart co-ordinator and volunteer - lots of POSITIVE advice - more on that another time

He was DIAMOND of the day!!!!

[julesapple]

Brilliant - I bet you feel good today too! Top marks BB!

Jules

[Glutton4...]

Well done you!

I have a good friend who has a difficult child - he's a grown-up in a young lad's body, and most people (including some of his relatives) don't bother to learn how to deal with him. He can be a total PITA at times, and is far worse when spoken down to in a condescending manner, or yelled at - can't blame him, really! But talk to him more like an adult, and he can be a real joy. He is extremely intelligent and articulate, loves to be busy, and is desperate to be helpful. He is also Dyslexic and is currently being assessed for ADHD.

Dunno why I'm waffling, really, but I'm glad you had a positive day, and good on you for trying different methods - fingers crossed for tomorrow.

[lizzylemon]

That's fantastic news FD - I'm so pleased for you. Absolutely top class & long may it continue. <3

[Finedon.Dandy]

Well we had a fab weekend and a very good start to the day yesterday.

However at around 11am yesterday I had a phone call from the school asking me to go down. He had caused chaos in the headteachers office (she was unwilling to restrain him) following his removal from the classroom after he pinched his teacher and then pushed her off her chair. He has now been excluded from school.

It sounds awful, I am almost ashamed of him but am trying to be postive. He is a very sad little boy who doesnt understand what it is that makes him so angry - I understand that now. I also know that we need to show him love and understanding - unfortunately Mr D is far far to angry to see this. I too am getting angry because all that is ever said to me is what the symptoms of the problem is - not ever the cause. Now I know its difficult to know everything that is going on in a class of 25 children but they dont seem to have the first clue and thats how I feel they are failing him.

We have a re-intergration interview at 9:30am tomorrow, where they will talk to him first and if its considered appropriate he will go to his class to start afresh. Us adults (including Mr D who has to take a day off) will then make a plan of action. I would hope this will involve some sort of proper assesment of his behaviour in class and finding out what the triggers are.

I am sorry guys but I REALLY need your support now - finding it hard not to keep thinking of running away from all this - Scotland sounds nice

Sadly yours

Tammy

[di]

Scotland??? Things really are bad!

Good Luck with the interview this morning...and make sure and hold your head high. He's got issues that need to be worked out, you're not a failure. xx

[Finedon.Dandy]

Scotland??? Things really are bad!

Good Luck with the interview this morning...and make sure and hold your head high. He's got issues that need to be worked out, you're not a failure. xx

Sorry its tomorrow morning - will amend my message. He has just done a time out cos he wanted to play with the girls and not do his work but he is sat next to me doing sums now

[piskieinboots]

I've just caught up with this thread - blimey gal, what a plateful you have!!

Sadly I have nothing to offer in the way of advice, however it's really good to see you asking in here, and getting, so much support - but then what else did you expect

[scarey55]

Hang in there Tammy, remember the good days that you told us about. Hopefully you will get more good days than bad and then, no bad days at all x
Good luck tomorrow.