People just turning up

[binley100]

......or paint red spots on your faces ....sorry

[julesapple]

Its actually gotten to the point, that if the mood takes us we have to make sure the door is locked so people dont just walk in!!!!

Just keep the doors locked at all times, ignore the door unless you know it's a delivery (or put a card asking them to leave packages somewhere) and if anyone complains just say, sorry, we were having an intimate moment.......I bet they'll be so embarrassed, especially the inlaws, that they soon start giving you notice before arriving.

Jules

[Hilary B]

I tend to agree with Nicos' first post, they will either ignore everything you say, or be offended.
Lock the door, get one of those fish-eye things, and only open the door for deliveries/post (unless they are expected). Sooner or later they will find a way of asking why you are 'never in when they come round' and you can tell them they should have let you know!

[Nicos]

And thinking about it even more......

maybe you need to persuade your OH that he needs to tell friends and family?
After all- if they had a wish, I'm sure ( after wishing to win the Lotto!) they would wish your OH back to good health?
I'm sure they would.
I think by nipping in all the time they're trying to be supportive in their own way.

Maybe you could say that part of the treatment involves being kept totally away from anyone and ( maybe a tiddly fib) the alternative would be a hospital admission....which no one would ever wish on someone else.

If you promised to phone peeps- and ask them to send emails and letters- you'll keep them up to date .
Being an important part of his treatment , they would then feel involved in his recovery- rather than being shut out and feeling rejected.

In that way- you too will still have friendly faces to turn to when you need support.
It's going to be a difficult time for you too lass- and you need the boost that the very peeps you are turning away will willingly provide.

I'm presuming he doesn't want peeps to know in case of failure?
Well that wouldn't be a reflection of him personally, but that the treatment technique/drugs weren't quite juggled to his exact needs.
Perhaps you can point that out to peeps before the treatment starts- and that by turning up they would infact be lessening his chances of success.
But , I think you both know all that already- and just need the confidence to point that out to others????

xx

[Jax]

Thanks for all the input Nicos, the problem is it is a particular set of people that we are trying to keep away as they knock his confidence and upset him constantly. They are very selfish people. They are the type of people that like him being ill as it gives them a sense of power. If it were upto me they would be no part of our lives but thats not my choice. I have managed to speak to the people involved and said that they need to ring at least a few hours beforehand and ask if we are busy and I have spoken to OH and said that he needs to be able to say that he's busy or whatever instead of just letting them do what they want.

We have told our closest freinds and we had the first session today. The woman was fantastic. It was a very frank and open exchange of views, but in a good way. Halfway through she even got me balling my eyes out lol. Jeanied, my makeup was definitely all over my face haha. Today was discussing everything and then we start work next week.

It is going to be incredibly hard but we now have a particular day and time every week that she will be here so its easier to sort people out that way. Im just going to have to be firm with everyone I think.

[Jeanied]

Great to read this Jax - it sounds like you are both going to find this really beneficial and that you have a good person to give you support. You deserve it, both of you.
It sounds like you are going to need a considerably bigger box of tissues!

[CaroltheCarrot]

Thats excellent news for you both Jax

[Glutton4...]

Big ((((HUGS)))) from me! Well done Gal!

I'm glad it's looking positive. I don't mean to be rude, but if certain people are offended, that's their problem, you have yourselves, and your OH's health to think about - that's the important thing.

Keep up the good work.

[Hilary B]

Big ((((HUGS)))) from me! Well done Gal!

I'm glad it's looking positive. I don't mean to be rude, but if certain people are offended, that's their problem, you have yourselves, and your OH's health to think about - that's the important thing.

Keep up the good work.

Seconded (all of it!)