My brother ain't heavy

[kirsty b]

I feel really lucky to have my siblings. We have had our troubles, true, and I always thought younger sis was Dad's fave as she joined the Navy at 16, he had pics everywhere and talked about her achievements etc and one day I admitted being jealous of her her response was she always thought I was favourite - crossed lines or what. Dad's reasoning was, he had pics of her up cos she was away a lot, he saw me everyday so therefore didn't need pictures.
The older sibs are from mums first marriage and there is an age gap between them and us younger two, but we are no less close. The four of us are a fairly tight little unit cos our mother wasn't really there for us emotionally as kids, so we learned to rely on each other instead. Thankfully relationship with mother is better now we are all older.

[FionaH]

Same here and it's not through any rivalry or jealousy it's about protection .

Exactly! Well said

[Alison]

I have two older brothers whom I don't see very often due to geography. I e-mail one of them reasonably often and we enjoy meeting up occaisionally but life often gets in the way. When my mum was very ill last year we stuck together and sorted things. My other brother is a pain in the ass. For the last 10 years he has been going through a mid life crisis and is very selfish. I don't go out of my way to keep in contact but would always send him a birthday / Christmas card and present and be polite to him when we bump into each other at mum's. I don't get het up about this and I can't imagine he does, we just don't have much in common. I wouldn't want anything to happen to him but don't see why we should be expected to be best friends just because we share parents.

[Rhona]

My sisters and I are very close but it has taken a little effort sometimes. I personally think it's worth it. Academically, they've achieved more than me - both done MA's and PhD's, but happily, I have about as much sibling rivalry as a sandwich. I'm dead proud of them and very happy for their achievements. True that you can't choose your family, but having honed our relationships over the years, we accept each others flaws and love each other despite them. I'm sure we've all been been our parents favourites and least favourites at various times, but my parents went to great lengths to make sure we all felt equally loved and valued. That probably goes a long way and is definitely something I'm hoping to pass on to our children.

Hope you find some common ground with your bother, Brengirl, or at least that you both agree to make your encounters as peaceful as possible!

[Polly Fouracre]

You may like to make the first move and give your brother a kiss when you next meet him instead of standing off (he may be longing to do the same!)
I am so lucky in my family, we all love each other dearly, sisters, brothers, cousins, second cousins ad. infinitum and all have regard for each others feelings, even if we could SLAP them at times!!!!!
Do try and maybe something good will come out of it.

[Brengirl]

Hope you find some common ground with your bother, Brengirl, or at least that you both agree to make your encounters as peaceful as possible!

Me too Rhona. He is and always be my little brother and I wish him well. It is unfortunate that he is so critical of everything and everybody. He has always endeavoured to be 'perfect' and loses no time informing us all of his prowess. When my babes were little he would discipline and ridicule them at family functions to the extent that they too regard him as a 'no go area'. Many a time he has reduced my dear mum (now deceased) to tears.
His own beloved wife died of cancer last year so he now lives alone. He has also managed to alienate himself from his own two children. Neither of whom have had successful personal relationships and are childless. I get on well with them (I think) but am always aware of the negative feedback they may also be getting from their dad. He is certainly not short of a bob or two so how he chooses to behave and live his life is up to him.
Sorry for going on but....

[mrdinkle]

Being the youngest of a very large family, I have had a stomach full of family squabbles over the years. Suffice to say I refuse to lose sleep over any disagreements the other's may be having, or, think they have with me.

The sad fact is, the only time you will see a full set of ours is at a funeral.

[Alison]

Neither of whom have had successful personal relationships and are childless.

You probably don't mean to but please don't use the word "childless" as a negative term. Me and OH made the positive decision not to have children and are very happy with that decision. Some people want kids and it's a shame that some people want them but can't. However not everybody without kids is unhappy with that. Sorry but it really annoys me when people look at me with that sympathic look when they think I'm missing out (not saying you were as I can't see your face but a lot of people do)

[zazen999]

I stay out of family squabbles as much as I can. I had 4 step-sisters that I haven't seen in 25 years and that's a shame.

I adore my brother though, and his family.

Some Grapes know, but I found my Half-brother on Facebook just over a year ago. He lives in Canada and until recently I didn't even know his name. He's very successful over there and I'd give ANYTHING to be able to bump into him [or his sister] in the street.

Horses for courses I suppose.

*Agree with you Alison on the childless moniker; or when people 'feel sorry' that people without kids haven't got them. Does annoy me that.

[HeyWayne]

My brother and I have very little in common, and have never really seen eye to eye. I used to react, but it's a waste of energy.

I've other things to focus my energy on now.

[FionaH]

*Agree with you Alison on the childless moniker; or when people 'feel sorry' that people without kids haven't got them. Does annoy me that.

My brother, (the nice one, not the one I mentioned earlier) and his partner have chosen not to have children. He reckons that whenever they got the urge about kids they would borrow mine for the day! Apparently that reinforced their decision no end Bless 'em they would come home looking shattered with the boys still bouncing and raring to go.

[Brengirl]

You probably don't mean to but please don't use the word "childless" as a negative term. Me and OH made the positive decision not to have children and are very happy with that decision. Some people want kids and it's a shame that some people want them but can't. However not everybody without kids is unhappy with that. Sorry but it really annoys me when people look at me with that sympathic look when they think I'm missing out (not saying you were as I can't see your face but a lot of people do)

Wasn't meant in a negative way at all. I assumed their lives were fulfilled without them.

[Hazel at the Hill]

My brother and I have very little in common, and have never really seen eye to eye.

To be fair, you rarely see eye to eye with anyone!

[FionaH]

To be fair, you rarely see eye to eye with anyone!

I winced when I first read this, then I realised you were talking about the big fella!

[HeyWayne]

That's about the only thing we have in common - height!

(I did expect/hope someone would pick up on that one - cheers Hazel)