I Feel So Hopeless...

[mrdinkle]

Having been through similar with my mother over the last year I can empathise 100% with your situation. We have often been given the run around - don't let the attitude of the people who you encounter get you down.

As Kirsty says, you have a genuine need to be included, I have myself done all of the above (in kirsty's post) in order to ensure we know what is going on. Hopefully you will get the necessary consultation and information as things go forward.

[ginger ninger]

No Brengirl, He laughs and jokes about everything, I do think some times he dose this to cover up the fact he can't remember thing's well, and in his own way is still trying to protect my sister and me from what he knows is happening to himself, he lost his second wife to Alzheimer's so he's no stranger to dementia, he also attends a memory clinic every other month, but who knows what goes on in his head when he's on his own.

[Seahorse]

I am late to this thread and can't really add to the good advice above but (((big hugs))) GN.

[SueA]

Hopefully you'll get to see the consultant & things will become clearer. Make sure that he/she knows that you are all there to support your father & will not be brushed off & want to know exactly what his prognosis is. Good to hear though that your dad at least seems cheerful & is interacting with the staff etc.

[Bren In Pots]

Sorry to hear you've been messed around today

[Jeanied]

I am so sorry to hear your news Ginger - we are all here for you, don't forget. It sounds like all your instincts are spot on and are guiding you well. So speak out, especially when faced with the medical establishment. And you and your sis are the ones who know what your Dad would have said...
Take care and stay close.

[bobleponge]

Sorry I was late to this GN.
I have nothing useful to add at all, but am thinking of you and your family.
xx

[Nicos]

pm me tomorrow if you want/need a chat xx

[Florence Fennel]

Kirsty's right Ginger. Ring the Consultant's secretary to make an appointment, or arrange with the Ward Manager to be present at the Consultant's Ward Round. The decision you make will be the right one, and your dad will help you to make it, believe me. I have been through something similar to this with my late mother, so my thoughts and loving wishes are with you.
Flo x

[binley100]

I've been thinking all day about how you've been getting on. Terrible that they kept you waiting then you only got to speak to a junior doctor. The others are right about needing to speak to the consultant and I don't think your sister was untactful .You have the right as his nearest and dearest to be told exactly whats going on.
Thinking of you . Big hugs xxxxxx

[miffy]

There is never a right or wrong decision, you will know what to do for your Dad and have the support of your sister and husband so you are not alone. Everyone on the vine is thinking of you. Take carex

[dogsbody]

Ginger, feeling for you.

One point to bear in mind is the Anaesthetist wont agree to the op if s/he feels Dad is a bad risk.

As everyone else has said, make a bit of a fuss and ask to see the Consultant, juniors are just that and sometimes very junior. As for the DNR - ask yourself what Dad would want if he knew the situation today.

Best wishes. xxxx

[basketcase]

I've only just seen this, so am really late but I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers too.

What a horrible situation to be in, not made any better by the treatment you received today Can't add anything to the useful advice you've already been given.

Elizabeth

[Izi]

I am really late on this post too. I am ever so sorry about what you are going through at the moment especially with the hospital staff giving you one hell of a scare and then the run around. I can only agree with what everyone has said in make a fuss, and fight to see the consultants. I appreciate that this is probably the last thing you feel like you want to do right now and if I could reach down the wire and give you some strength I truly would.

Big hugs to you and all your family hunny. Try and eat, try and sleep you can't help your dad if you make yourselves ill.

Hope things are brighter soon.
Best Wishes
Izi.

[Eco-Chic]

Hi Ginger,

I feel for you and your sister trying to cope with this. I agree with others who have suggested you make an appointment to see the consultant.

If there is doubt whether or not there should be an operation, you need to know whether your father can be assessed as fit to live on his own or whether other arrangements should be made for his care. Also, a prolonged hospital stay may expose your father to infections like bronchitis and pneumonia so his previous environment may be better for him.

Keep your chin up. Having observed your father for a few days it may have been concluded by the consultant that non-intervention is much less of a risk than originally thought.