Personalities

[Brengirl]

It is far too early for me to attempt this. After all I have only had a little caffein so far today. I need something a bit more colourful, usually in a glass to encourage and stimulate the 'real me'.

Mitochondrial Eve - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I wasn't even going to google this but, would you adam and eve it, a need to know moment has presented itself.

[Nicos]

This is something I've thought over a lot since I've had my kids!
...my conclusions???

Yes, life experiences do colour the way people react to a situation- people adapt their basic reactions. It's called 'learning life on the job!'

Why can 2 children brought up in exactly the same way react /behave differently?...yup it's genetic...they say when you marry your OH you marry their family- well don't it just come back to bite you on the bum when one of your kids ( who looks just like great aunt Ethel) behaves just like Great Uncle Rupert!!!

[Pumpkin Becki]

I always liked the Jungian idea that we base our personality around 'hero' characters and simulate their actions to deal with similar situations.

Is that why you're still your Halloween headed alter ego Ollie?

I think our upbringing has an awful lot to do with how we are and how we respond to situations. i.e:

My friend and collegue had to have his elderly dog put to sleep. My first (gut) reaction was to give him a big hug coz he looked like he really needed it. He, on the other hand, leapt away and refused my sympathy.

Discussing it later, we discovered that I come from a very nurturing/ touchy feely, family upbringing, whereas he doesn't, and that sort of demonstration is alien to him.

I felt slightly rejected (if that's the right word) at the time, but now I understand that we just handle that kind of thing differently.

[Nicos]

That's such a true thing PB
Peeps can equally be unintentionally hurt by someone without them realising it.
That's why it's important to realise that our way isn't the only way and to respect other peeps point of view!
It's been quite a eye opener moving here and talking to peeps ( they're oh so good at talking over here!!!)

I know I've offended peeps a few times by saying hello and carrying on with what I'm doing without stopping and walking over and making the effort to giving them a bissous. Even the kids present themselves for a peck on the cheek and I've occasionally looked down at their big smiling faces and wondered what they're smiling at...and realised that - yet again- I'm being rude not offering them my cheek!

See- cultural differences are certainly learned behaviour!

[piskieinboots]

I know I've offended peeps a few times by ....

...not wearing my glasses

[HeyWayne]

WOW, Thats deep Dude.

Not really - just inane ramblings of an unoccupied mind.

[Two_Sheds]

Why can 2 children brought up in exactly the same way react /behave differently?.

Ah, but 2 children are never brought up exactly the same, even if you really try to treat all your children the same. They do have different personalities, so people react to them in different ways, which in turn influences & reinforces how they react to situations.

Every parent has their favourite child, even if they won't admit it (favourite at different times and for different reasons maybe: as a basic example: Dad may spend more time playing with boy children, while girl children are encouraged to be more affectionate etc)

Twin studies are interesting though.

[SarzWix]

Funny you should bring this up, I'm currently trying to write an assignment about the Dalai Lama, a man who is believed by his own people to be a reincarnation of 13 previous Dalai Lamas, and the Bodhisattva of Compassion 'Chenresig'. According to him, he doesn't carry the knowledge of the previous Lama's in his concsious mind, but instead finds 'he can understand without effort certain philosophical points which are normally considered difficult[...]' and otherwise is 'just an ordinary person, like you'.

Also, having done family tree research, and discovered distant relatives in Canada, I believe I have some evidence that tendency to post-natal depression has passed down through the female line since the early 1800's when a particular lady married into the Meldrum family. That's the sort of thing that definitely affects your personality! And if that can be passed through the genes, what else can?!

[Rhona]

Anyone else have to go look that up?
Mitochondrial Eve - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Seven Daughters Of Eve might sound more familiar? Honestly, it's not that obscure (but probably should have added a link ) ...looky here for a brief idea BBC NEWS | UK | Magazine | Extreme genealogy

I love the idea of one 'tall, beautiful East African woman, striding strongly across the sub-Saharan plains, the mother of all women.' (This is from a separate article that I can't find on Google).

I just think it's kinda beautiful.

[Brengirl]

When my 4 were little I never did treat them all the same. I regarded them as individuals and did my best to understand their own personal needs at any one time. When there were inevitable "that's not fair' explosions I would normally ignore the protest and give the aggrieved time to see that in this world all is not fair but in the long run we get what we deserve. Today they are grown. They are still individuals. Each with their own strengths and weaknesses that make them so special. Long live differences.

[HeyWayne]

If you met my brother and I, you'd swear we are from different parentage. Ignoring the fact that we're both 6ft 7.

[bobleponge]

I'm going with the nature rather than nurture argument here.
Kids from the same parents will be treated differently, generally only slightly, for myriad reasons, however kids from said same parents can grow up to be diametrically opposed.
I firmly believe we are born the intrinsic person we are, even though we will, for the most part, take our external appearance from our genetic parents.
I think our upbringing only slighly affects our overall personality in the longer term.

[kirsty b]

I come from a very nurturing/ touchy feely, family upbringing, whereas he doesn't, and that sort of demonstration is alien to him.

My family is tactile, and my OH's not quite so. I love to be hugged and cuddled, while he is less demonstrative. I used to feel rejected by it, but now accept thats just how he is even though I don't particularly like it. TBH we have 'had words' in the past and he is a little better at it now!! He is more demonstrative with the kids though.

Siblings being different; I have 2 sisters and a brother and we are all totally different, in attitudes, reactions, temperament. But, we weren't brought up together all our lives by the same parents, it was pretty fractured! Have been told I am a lot like my dad in temperament, even though looks favour mother's side.

[OllieMartin]

Kids from the same parents will be treated differently, generally only slightly, for myriad reasons, however kids from said same parents can grow up to be diametrically opposed.

That opposition between children comes from their desire to gather as much of their parents' attention as possible. My brother was always the strong, physical one, so there was no point in me trying to compete with him in that field, so I became the thoughtful, philiosophical one. You wouldn't get as many 'positive strokes' by being second best at something.

[Pumpkin Becki]

I come from a very nurturing/ touchy feely, family upbringing, whereas he doesn't, and that sort of demonstration is alien to him.

My family is tactile, and my OH's not quite so. I love to be hugged and cuddled, while he is less demonstrative. I used to feel rejected by it, but now accept thats just how he is even though I don't particularly like it.

My OH was just the same - I wore him down eventually with lots of bear hugs and snogs It was tough work, but someone had to do it!