Why are men so frustrating?

[amandaandherveg]

some of blokes are genuinely nice blokes, we can cook and clean and whatever, just can't find a woman that wants us .......

I have a lovely, lovely, lovely man and class myself as very lucky. He was single for a long time after his relationship broke down and as a father of 3 young children (whom he cared for 4 days a week) had given up hope on a relationship. We've been together 8 years and he's a complete star.

The right lady is waiting for you FG.

On a side note, when we first got together I 'organised' his flat and filled 40 black bags of his rubbish - he really doesn't get the concept of throwing stuff out.

[petal]

Luck of the draw, I think! It depends on a man or woman's background, upbringing, life experience and expectations.

[Hilary B]

Before I got married, but was living with now ex he would clean cook help with the garden do DIY(slowly) the only jobs he didn't do was clean the toilet and iron.
Got maried and within six months he stopped! when I had HB he did little to help, saying she wants her mum! Often he would get in from work around3pm, Hb would be playing I would be sat down with a cuppa(often the only one I had actually sat down to drink) he would say what have you done all day? Dinner was prepared washing done, baby bathed dressed fed shopping done etc! Divorce soon followed!

There are some men for whom the 'bit of paper' is a licence to take the woman in their life for granted. Equally there are some women who deserve it!
We all annoy each other. As long as the degree of irritation is
a) mutual
b) manageable (ie, not full time), and
c) something we can talk about
we keep going.

[Hilary B]

Sorry guys, I didn't mean to offend anyone.

Please don't assume that I haven't been through the pain of monthlys. For 3 hours I am doubled up in agony, throw up and have acute diarrhoea. I have also passed out numerous times. I might not get suicidal, but I am well and truly housebound (if I'm lucky enough to be at home). Sorry if I tarred everyone with the same brush.

There are 2 totally separate 'that time' problems, and each independantly varies from 'never noticed it' in some women to 'makes life unbearable for a while' in others.
The only good thing you can say about them is that very few of us suffer them at the same time (especially those who suffer one or both in extreme degree).
PMT usually ends by about the time the pain starts (P for pre; ie before).
I've had both, but neither as badly as some get them, and rarely in the same month.

[lizzylemon]

We call it 'Martyr syndrome' in our house and we both suffer it on occasion. Matt will run around getting shouty about how much he has to do, so normally I ask him if his cross isn't bit too heavy on top of all the work he has to and I just sulk, and then remind myself I can't have it both ways - independence and help I mean.

I sometimes wonder, and dare I suggest it, is it a thing of our own making......

.......After all, 99% of the time when they offer to help we don't want it as it's an affront to our personal skills / achievements / independence (blah blah blah) and when he does do something for us, how often is it done right (by which I mean its redone when they're not looking just because it's not quite the same as we would have done it...!!) Hmmmmmmm.

On the other hand when I feel like I'm not getting much help round the house, I remind myself that he also doesn't notice things like the lid's always open on the toothpaste, wet towels on the bathroom floors, yesterdays clothes next the washing basket, a junk draw that's followed me from house to house and slowly spreads into other draws, I leave keys in random places and I'm grumpy in the mornings to name just a few of my better habits

[Two_Sheds]

Yes, I have horrible habits too, like allowing the parrots to poop everywhere, and having plants and compost on every windowsill and work surface (it gets cleaned up )

He just refuses point-blank to do anything that he doesn't want to do, and because his mum used to do everything for him, he now expects it from me. I have cured him of leaving wet towels on the floor (by leaving them there until they smell) and he is now learning to flush the loo after he's been (otherwise it too, starts to smell).

When I met him, I thought how domesticated he was ... I didn't know that his mum came in to clean once a week (he was 40!).