I have failed ...

[kirsty b]

Yer, one I would read as 'Wash and Return!' Label, that is.

I was horribly spoiled by having a placid, nice baby/toddler. Different now that she quite often has opinions and tries to argue with mother!!

[Two_Sheds]

It's a real shame; I love my nieces & nephews to bits, and love having them to stay with me, but he is not nice to have round at the moment

Incidentally, I gave him back to his mum today, and he was even worse with me then: screaming, crying (loudly, for effect), throwing himself on the floor, running off (he ran off into a bank ~ we left him to see if he would come out, but he didn't. I had to go and get him, and he threw a fit in front of everyone

[lynda66]

IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, MINE GOT THROWN OUT OF 3 PLAYGROUPS(sos caps) and a nursery, mostly for breaking things on other kids heads ........ he was ok by the time he was about 8 (dunno how he lived that long) ...... and now he's so laid back he's nearly horizontal

[jackie j]

My nephew has just been to see me with his little 4 yr old son and he is just into everything, good job they were only here for a short while I was begining to think hurry up and go. You need eyes in the back front and sides of your head. He managed to pick something up and drop it thankfully nothing got broken, I made him a drink of blackcurrant squash ( weak ) he wanted orange and lemonade, he helped himself to a sweet my fault for leaving them out, he went upstairs twice even though he was told not to. His three year old girl cousin is completly the opposite she does what she is told.

[Snadger]

My oldest Son does all of those things TS..........and he's 26!

[seasprout]

This thread should be re-labeled... why you should use contraception

[BrideXIII]

This thread should be re-labeled... why you should use contraception

or it should be printed out, and distributed AS contraception

[shirlthegirl43]

Madmax here - None of this 'therapy treatment' ever works with some kids. They are just plain baaaaad. At least you gave him back to his owner!

What worked with ours when they were just like that was simply mimic their activities - crying, stamping your feet and having a tantrum. And a good skite across the backside. Good old fashioned discipline. Difficult if they are someone elses though!

There are all these 'new' PC reasons for kids being 'naughty', but half of the time they are just demanding and spoilt. Too much getting their own way whilst the folks are having to go out to work.

[Alison]

Every day I get another reason to justify why we don't have kids and boy am I thankfull!

[BrideXIII]

Madmax here - None of this 'therapy treatment' ever works with some kids. They are just plain baaaaad. At least you gave him back to his owner!

What worked with ours when they were just like that was simply mimic their activities - crying, stamping your feet and having a tantrum. And a good skite across the backside. Good old fashioned discipline. Difficult if they are someone elses though!

There are all these 'new' PC reasons for kids being 'naughty', but half of the time they are just demanding and spoilt. Too much getting their own way whilst the folks are having to go out to work.

sorry hun, but no child is bad, like no dog is bad, and when they go naughty, its often because the parents are trying to do the best they can and getting it wrong, thats not a crime, just a learning process, catch it soon enough it can be reversed with patience.
not saying i have never swiped mine, i have, can't say it worked any better than actually taking the time to give them what they needed though.

although throwing a bigger tantrum than they were was a great way of distracting them out of one

[Two_Sheds]

What worked with ours when they were just like that was simply mimic their activities - crying, stamping your feet and having a tantrum. And a good skite across the backside. Good old fashioned discipline. .

Hi Max, I would normally agree with this.

However, he didn't have any tantrums with me; he just calmly and quietly goes about his destruction.
At the point of creating this thread, I had slammed my hand down on the table next to him to make him jump ~ and he didn't bat an eyelid.

Threats of "in the cupboard" or "onto the naughty step" have no effect either (he actually takes himself to the naughty step at home and has a nap there).

I said "NO" so many times I made myself hoarse.
I cajoled, I explained, I shouted. He is a very bright little boy, and very sweet and good fun sometimes.

He is just in his own little world of doing what he wants. The only time he was "good" was sitting in front of the goggle box ... and then he goes into a kind of trance when he won't answer you if you speak to him.

He's got no health issues, and he's not deaf (only selectively so)

If I were to go all psychological, I'd say that as one of four children (including a new baby) and with a harrassed mother and a father who is home all day but you wouldn't know it he is playing for attention.

The usual tricks don't work though: ignoring bad behaviour and rewarding good behaviour. It makes no difference.

I just hope he grows out of it, and not into it.

[MaureenHall]

Did you let the Mum know that his behaviour wasn't something you'd been expecting? If she isn't putting ground-rules into place and sticking to them then there's no hope for the him (in my experience anyway). All of us with "good" kids may find it easy to cope with the occasional bad behaviour and deal with it firmly, and it's easy for us to say "do this, do that", but when the child isn't your own and isn't used to discipline and rules it's a nightmare!
I think I'd have poured a can of vegetable soup over him, phoned his Mum to come and collect him telling her sorry, but you've got this awful vomiting thing, puked over her child, and you didn't want him to catch it!

[jackie j]

He is looking for attention by the sounds of it and as he had you all to himself he didnt know what had hit him. My niece who lost her mum was the same she didnt do anything she was told by her mum, If I was there my sister used to say to me Jack tell her will you cos she listens to you, My sister wouldnt have it that she was nagging my niece so it went in one ear and out the other. She is getting better except she doesnt stop talking and interupts when you are talking and comes out with something completely different to what you are talking about, She wants to be the centre of attention all the time, when my daughter announced that she had passed her grade 2 clarinet my niece came out with oh yeah did I tell you I got an award for something, she never lets my daughter have the limelight, if they were not cousins they wouldnt choose to be friends.

[cupcake]

Oh TS! I hope you can get some rest soon!

[crazy_red]

Sounds a bit like some sort of emotional insecurity to me or Aspergers (imho).

If they are out of their normal routine/environment I think it can throw some kids off more than others, so they act up.

If he comes across as naughty and attention seeking in general, especially if he does it when you change his routine, not just at yours but at home too, maybe an evaluation by a child psych would be worth considering.

Kids need routines and boundaries and to know that the same thing will happen each time they do 'x 'actually makes them feel safer.
Which is why the little darlings will keep doing it for a while, even though they know they will get punished, just to check the rules are still the same.......

Maybe he's testing what the boundaries are at your house......

There may well be nothing wrong at all and he is just naughty. But if it's not, having worked with children with special needs, you will obviously know from experience that if they're not diagnosed early on, by the time they do get help it's too little, too late -for both the child and the parents/family.

Better safe than sorry maybe, how do the parents feel about it?


Red