Malapropisms

[Rhona]

Inspired by Piskie's oxymorons, and by watching Secrets and Lies the other evening, when the wonderful Brenda Blethyn is treated to a rare evening out in a nice restaurant and announces that yes, she's very hungry... "I'm ravishing, me."

[bluemoon]

My Nan said stuff like this all the time, but I swear she did it on purpose. My favourite was when she bought a coat with a fur collar. Seeing that I was horrified she said "Don't worry, it's not real, just stimulated".
The character of Rachel Price in 'The Poisonwood Bible', by Barbra Kingsolver, has speech peppered with them. Probably meant as the least sympathetic of the characters, but I loved her.

[jacob marley]

my best man's mother at the end of the war used to keep a pig down the garden but you had to get a licence to slaughter it went along to the police station get the licence went up to the sergeant on the desk and asked for a licence to Pill a Gig he fell about laughing.....jacob

[MaureenHall]

I love Malapropisms and Spoonerisms (did a thread on this ages ago) but my favourite one is still "Chuckin fickens" Oh yes, and Rat Flabbit on the roadside in the early mornings

[tricky]

I had an uncle (bless him hes not with us)
He was explaining to me one year how hed got no babies to which i replied
What not a dicky bird
To this day me and oh joke about it

[tricky]

One of my favourites is wucking thanker , cant remember who i said this was

[scarey55]

How about cooking fat - we used to say that all the time to our cat 'specially when it peed on the carpet.

[nelliegemini]

A bloke I used to know, who was without a girlfriend for a while (more interested in hunting, shooting and fishing) used to refer to himself as halibut.

[terrier]

Mrs Malaprops "He is the very pineapple of politeness" takes some beating for "fruity" language

[FionaH]

We get Fat Cood for our rotund Moggie

[snuffer]

Ah Mrs Malaprop from Sheridans 'The Rivals'. Did it as an A level text many moons ago. Went to see it at The Barbican. Wendy Craig was Mrs malaprop, very funny.

[Snadger]

It didn't do that poor lassie who was a nanny charged with murder in America much good when she said about the bairn 'I popped him on the bed'

[bubblewrap]

I love Malapropisms and Spoonerisms (did a thread on this ages ago) but my favourite one is still "Chuckin fickens" Oh yes, and Rat Flabbit on the roadside in the early mornings

I some times call our cat lard!!!

[bubblewrap]

George Bush is verbally incontinent.