fed up :( don't know what to do

[squashysu]

if the mountain wont come to mohammed and all that, it must be so hard especially as you love each other!

i dont envy your decision making, and i certainly agree about you staying where you are and your reasons why! I wouldnt move either!! made that mistake before as well and still paying the consequences!!!!

Good luck

[lynda66]

made that mistake before as well and still paying the consequences!!!!

Good luck

crap innit

[Rhona]

Oh I'm sorry - no wonder it's getting you down. There isn't an easy answer (gee, really Rhona?). I haven't really been in a similar situation (apart from very briefly when I first moved oop North, but the chap wasn't exactly the love of my life, and it was much better that we split up!) but I suspect if I was in your shoes, I'd be all romantic about it and believe that love conquers all, and probably sell up whilst watching Gone With The Wind etc. and that's exactly why I also don't give advice on matters of the heart... well I do, but most people know that my fluffy, hopelessly whimsical, impractical advice should be rightly ignored.

Sorry though and I hope you feel better soon. At least you've found him, and you're loved and loving him back.

[piskieinboots]

one of the reasons is, i really can't be bothered moving somewhere i don't like....

and there is your answer

[lynda66]

and there is your answer

I know, but what do i do about the answer ...... xx

i feel about 3 just now and want my mummy.

[Hans Mum]

ohhh linda, i think youve told yourself the answer you just need to be brave and tell him, if youve not seen each other for 2months how much longer are you not gonna see him, lifes too short.....could you think about renting somewhere near him short term to see how it goes, obviously i dont know your personal circumstances but it might be an idea to see if its a goer, whatever you deceide good luck wouldnt want to be in your shoes xx

[Nicos]

I've given up EVERYTHING to be with my hubby. ( family/friends/hobbies/quality of life/comfort zones/company/work/income)...and now my favourite cat
That's what I consider love to be about.
I will have to make new friends, learn a new language and learn to cycle everywhere from the middle of nowhere and live on a tiny shoestring.
If you truly love him Lynda ,you'd join him. Your son is now old enough to understand if it's the real thing.
Only you know if it's love or lust/company.

[Bephlam]

My OH and I also had a long distance relationship - London to Scotland. It was brilliant, and romantic when we were together (managed to see each other every 11 days, like clockwork), but I couldn't cope when we were apart. So, we sat down...discussed how we felt about each other...and came to conclusion that we just had to be together, and we'd have both moved mountains to do so. So, she came here...(her choice!)...and we've lived happily ever after ever since.

I can't tell you what I'd do if I were in your situation, but I will say that when you REALLY really want someone/thing you're willing to cross the universe for them. Perhaps the fact that neither of you want/feel the need to move shows that you could live happily without each other? (I'm not saying that's the case...just throwing something in there).

If it's making you happy...then do it. If it's not...do something to make yourself so!

As my Mummy says - Life is short, but it's a bloody long time to be miserable!

Hope you feel more positive soon....

Turn your wee eggs and cheer yourself up!

**Big Hugs**

[Rhona]

I know, but what do i do about the answer ...... xx

i feel about 3 just now and want my mummy.

Aw! (((HUG)))!!!

[janeyo]

I have just read through the whole post and it looks like you have already made your mind up Lynda!
I got divorced a few years back even though I loved my husband Desperately and he loved me... but now I am with someone and we have 2 children and the new life style I craved so it was for the best. It was the Hardest decision I have ever had to make.

Hope you get your head round it all soo, and anyway who needs a man? You've got your cats dogs, chickens, your son is a call away and you've just dug up the lawn for the veggies so no need of a man-mower! lol

janeyo x

[bobleponge]

That said, as I get older, I'm quite a fan of the seperate households but mutual 'love-ins' on weekends and holidays thing. Do you really want his smelly pants on the floor 24/7? [/QUOTE]

Seahorse, are you my ex wife???

As already said, its not easy, but even as a miserable, bitter twice divorced 3 times failed long term romances, I would still say that if its love then its love, and it will work itself out.
Good luck

[Seahorse]

Oh dear. As I'm so utterly in the minority here, maybe I've just never met the right man

I think I hear violins in the background...

[MrsC]

I've read all the above posts and Lynda there is only you who really knows how you feel and what decision to make, even though we are all here to support you. Sometimes the hardest decisions to make are the ones we make on our own with no support, in the small hours. Good luck whatever you decide to do. I have been there and turned my life around, it's a long story. I am sure that I speak for everyone on here that we are all here to support you in anyway. I think that sometimes telling others how you feel is the first step to admitting to yourself how you really feel. You sound like a strong lady to me. Take care x

[piskieinboots]

I've given up EVERYTHING to be with my hubby. ( family/friends/hobbies/quality of life/comfort zones/company/work/income)...and now my favourite cat
That's what I consider love to be about.
I will have to make new friends, learn a new language and learn to cycle everywhere from the middle of nowhere and live on a tiny shoestring.
If you truly love him Lynda ,you'd join him. Your son is now old enough to understand if it's the real thing.
Only you know if it's love or lust/company.

This could have been written by me, Nicos' words are as mine

I chose to leave a very very comfortable, content, secure life, well paid career, friends etc in Cornwall because if I wanted to be with Snowdrop (on a daily basis) I had to leave it all - Service life meant he would move around, I never once questioned that I would not move around with him.

If you love him, you will move.....or he will move to you....

[digthatchick]

I've read all the above posts and Lynda there is only you who really knows how you feel and what decision to make, even though we are all here to support you. Sometimes the hardest decisions to make are the ones we make on our own with no support, in the small hours. Good luck whatever you decide to do. I have been there and turned my life around, it's a long story. I am sure that I speak for everyone on here that we are all here to support you in anyway. I think that sometimes telling others how you feel is the first step to admitting to yourself how you really feel. You sound like a strong lady to me. Take care x

Sorry for your situation, but I must agree with mrsC2b. Sometimes attachment clouds our decisions. Just because a decision is a hard one it does not mean it is the wrong one. I wish you well, and I feel you have the answer.