Curfew for young'uns?

[MrsBond]

We are all gems, and we all are good 'n' right and know what to do with our kids.....good and bad.....right?

Do you know what is right for your child?....right by you?....right by who?....does it suit your neighbour?....or right by the police?....or right by your parents?....or right by your grandparents?.....or right by the police?....or right by the Community at large?....or right by our government?....or right by the world?

I personally feel that this is an extremely emotive subject....I am a very involved parent, but there comes a point at 16 years old and earning an adult style income that you have to let the child/adult live their own lives and accept their own responsibilities for their own actions otherwise how can they ever know that this really is their own lives.

I hate and will not and do not condone some of the things that my child gets up to, but at his age, I do not accompany him to parties and will not accept responsibility for what he does. He has to live and accept, or possibly regret his own actions.

I have tried to prepare, encourage, educate (and I do and will continue to try) my own children, unfortunately (as some people may see it) they will find their own way in life.

Sometimes it takes a bigger person to say that rather than their child is a little git or an outcast that maybe their child/young adult is not the way they want, but is a person all of their own and is entitled to be as such.

I really dislike 'ferral' or 'unruly' kids as I call them, but I feel we could all take a responsible role in letting our kids live....and live to experience what happens if they are bad ie they have to face consequences for their own actions, and there isn't always someone to bail them out....although as mothers, we always love our kids but wont bail them out(or condone) their norty situations!!!

Mrs B x

[Chillimad]

We are all gems, and we all are good 'n' right and know what to do with our kids.....good and bad.....right?

Do you know what is right for your child?....right by you?....right by who?....does it suit your neighbour?....or right by the police?....or right by your parents?....or right by your grandparents?.....or right by the police?....or right by the Community at large?....or right by our government?....or right by the world?

I personally feel that this is an extremely emotive subject....I am a very involved parent, but there comes a point at 16 years old and earning an adult style income that you have to let the child/adult live their own lives and accept their own responsibilities for their own actions otherwise how can they ever know that this really is their own lives.

I hate and will not and do not condone some of the things that my child gets up to, but at his age, I do not accompany him to parties and will not accept responsibility for what he does. He has to live and accept, or possibly regret his own actions.

I have tried to prepare, encourage, educate (and I do and will continue to try) my own children, unfortunately (as some people may see it) they will find their own way in life.

Sometimes it takes a bigger person to say that rather than their child is a little git or an outcast that maybe their child/young adult is not the way they want, but is a person all of their own and is entitled to be as such.

I really dislike 'ferral' or 'unruly' kids as I call them, but I feel we could all take a responsible role in letting our kids live....and live to experience what happens if they are bad ie they have to face consequences for their own actions, and there isn't always someone to bail them out....although as mothers, we always love our kids but wont bail them out(or condone) their norty situations!!!

Mrs B x

I know what in my opinion is right for my children, my beliefs are that what is right by me, is also right by the police, social services, the neighbours, and more importantly by society, and that is that my children are cared for, looked after, andtought right from wrong from the start.

[MrsBond]

I know what in my opinion is right for my children, my beliefs are that what is right by me, is also right by the police, social services, the neighbours, and more importantly by society, and that is that my children are cared for, looked after, andtought right from wrong from the start.

Me too, but there is always someone, somebody who thinks that I should accompany my older teenager and accept responsibility for what he does. He does what his wages allows him to do, not what I allow him to do (if he did this then he would be classed as a monk).

What I want him to do and and what he actually does are two very different things, but he is 16 and earning an adult income, if I do not allow him to do (and take responsibility for what he does) then how will he ever learn to live in the real world.

Mrs B x

[lynda66]

my son is 18, he lives in my house, he gets his EMA and works part time on a market stall, he still asks permission, occasionally i'll say no, though there will usually be a good reason. ....... but my house my rules ..... when he leaves home to go to uni in september, it will be up to him, but i just know he'll be home for his tea and his washing done at every opportunity lol ... hes only going to be 15 mins away.

if he or his friends want a party, they will ask for one, and the gazebo will go up and the BBQ will come out, and they will have a party, i usually stay inside but usually after about half an hour, they are coming in asking why i'm not out with them or bringing me burgers, if the weather is really bad, then they spend the money on going bowling or to a restaurant or something ........ the best way of knowing what your kids get up to when you arent there, is being friends with their friends .... his mates tell me everything lol ...... when he was 16, he would still be in for 10, unless he was at a specific place, and he was getting a lift home, or staying over. yes they need their own responsibilities, and to make their own mistakes, but going out getting pissed at 16 5 nights a week isn't one i mistake i would allow my son .... in fact now, he can happily go out and drink coke .... he learned with age, that you don't have to drink to have fun.

ok enough waffle ....... 16 year olds are NOT adults

[Chillimad]

I agree with you, also I am pleased that your son is earning an adult wage,, but all I was trying to say is that as parents we are responsible for them untill the age of 18,,, and not all 16-18year olds really know right from wrong, and as parents would it not be better for us as parents to guide them in the right direction rather than official bodies, ie: the police, social services etc ?. sorry if I am out of order, I am just trying my best to be a good parent as my parents were "God rest their souls", and express my satisfaction at being bought up properly (In my opinion)...and at 16, I would never have considered myself an adult!!!

[lynda66]

hark at me lol ....... i just realised i left home at 16, to work away, and went out most nights and got absolutely bladdered ... went to live in greece when i was 17, and yup mostly got absolutely bladdered ... maybe that's why i'm more aware that 16 year olds aren't adults, than most ....... i certainly wasn't, even though i was very independent and capable of looking after myself .....if i'd been happy at home i probably wouldn't have left so young

[MrsBond]

I have just the one at 16, and I hope beyond anything I can ever say, give or wish that I have armed him appropriately with the knowledge that will get him through the next few years that are so important to him.

There are only so many times that I can bail him out or make excuses for him. His life and his actions are his own, and much as I hope he will make the right decisions in his life, I am fully prepared for the fact that I may have to wipe his tears a few times.

Ouch....as parents of teenagers we are so torn as mothers....we feel the heartfelt helpy thingy, but we also feel the need to prepare our youngsters for the real outside world.

I have one teenage child at this stage now, but a mere 4 more children to follow, and I feel that I will do as good as job with the younger as with the elder. I always hold my children responsible for their own acts, as do I make sure that I know where they are at all times, and if it is a little later in the evening, i.e. 7.30pm onwards, I tend to sit out on the green with all the local age related kids and just sit and talk to them, telling them that we should hush our voices just in case their are little kids or babies in the area.

I am not irresponsible, I am not soft, I do not appreciate ferral kids, but I do know that we can be harsh on the teenagers and young adults just because they are not the style and people that we wish they would or could be.

Mrs B x

[MrsBond]

hark at me lol ....... i just realised i left home at 16, to work away, and went out most nights and got absolutely bladdered ... went to live in greece when i was 17, and yup mostly got absolutely bladdered ... maybe that's why i'm more aware that 16 year olds aren't adults, than most ....... i certainly wasn't, even though i was very independent and capable of looking after myself .....if i'd been happy at home i probably wouldn't have left so young

Bless you, I was also blatantly not happy at home (made everyone possible aware of this also).

It usually makes us more aware of our own kids happiness and awareness of their own surroundings, I am so with you on this one lynda66, we all live with our situation in our minds and what the outcome may be with the information we know.

Mrs B x

[Chillimad]

Well I have said my twopeneth worth, I am happy that I have aired my feelings on teenagers today,, off to bed now,,, sleep well everyone,, night night, god bless you all and our children !!!!

[lynda66]

night chilli ....... it's been interesting

[lynda66]

Bless you, I was also blatantly not happy at home (made everyone possible aware of this also).

It usually makes us more aware of our own kids happiness and awareness of their own surroundings, I am so with you on this one lynda66, we all live with our situation in our minds and what the outcome may be with the information we know.

Mrs B x

actually, thats a good point, there were a few things i've taken from my parents, but mostly i've brought my son up the complete opposite, i know hes happy ...... and really thats all that matters. (that and not getting in trouble lol)

[MrsBond]

I had an interesting baby/childhood.

I will not and can not presume that I know anyone's feelings and thoughts let alone my own kids.

I actually take the time to talk and listen to them....kids are lovely critters, if they don't teach you hard and fast educational facts, they do certainly teach you what the kids of today think and feel and do you know what....

....I think kids of today are a pain in the bum.......but I am a bigger pain in the bum, I can be the biggest pain going!!

We all have to practise a bit of live and let live, otherwise WW3 is gonna break out over a little bit of youth littering, and I do not want to be held responsible for that.

Mrs B x

[Two_Sheds]

We all have to practise a bit of live and let live, otherwise WW3 is gonna break out over a little bit of youth littering

I have to challenge you on that. We are not talking about a "bit of littering" here. Outside my house, we have gangs of drunken, screeching, fighting youths, male & female (the females are noisiest) from 8pm - 2am every Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday.
We've both had a hard week, and need our rest, esp. as we have a hyperactive 5 year old to entertain at the weekend. We do not appreciate having to survive on 4 hrs sleep a night because some poor misunderstood little darlings are just having a bit of fun.

they can have fun, spend all their wages on booze if they like - I used to - but if they disturb my peace, I will object, and fume, and call the police, and get them moved on.

[rustylady]

I am definitely in favour of curfew times for unaccompanied (by a responsible adult) children - including young teenagers. Too many times I see under 5's sitting on pavements (no adult in sight, just maybe a slightly older brother or sister in charge). Early teens can be a real problem round here, OK they like to get together but the parents have no idea where they are or what they are doing and they tend to get together in large groups, make lots of noise, consume alcohol and generally make a nuisance of themselves even if not actually causing damage to property.

[Chillimad]

I am definitely in favour of curfew times for unaccompanied (by a responsible adult) children - including young teenagers. Too many times I see under 5's sitting on pavements (no adult in sight, just maybe a slightly older brother or sister in charge). Early teens can be a real problem round here, OK they like to get together but the parents have no idea where they are or what they are doing and they tend to get together in large groups, make lots of noise, consume alcohol and generally make a nuisance of themselves even if not actually causing damage to property.

That has been my point all along,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it is not really the fault of the "CHILDREN" as at the end of the day thats what they are, but it is the fault of the PARENTS, as parent WE owe it to our offspring to care for them guide them and basically be responsible for them,, too many parents nowadays seem to think that when there children have reached 16 that is it,,, but it is not, they have 2 more years of our responsibility left, and I for one know that my children will respect me and my wishes well beyond that age,, we have children from the ages of I guess 3 to 15 playing in the streets, local park, tesco carpark etc way way past 2:00 in the morning, but more seriously in the roads around.