I Sit Next to Gasbag Bess

[HeyWayne]

Ah ha you work for Bernard Matthews do you?

Funnily enough, there is a Bernard Matthews place next door (I kid ye not!)and the aforementioned dude is off sick quite a lot....

[Mikey]

Funnily enough, there is a Bernard Matthews place next door (I kid ye not!)and the aforementioned dude is off sick quite a lot....

What is it sickness?, or acid reflux from the stuffing? Perhaps, he's allergic to feathers!

[Pootle]

The stapler in jelly trick always looked worth a try

[Peter]

Start suffering from crippling migraine headaches, where you need peace and quiet.

Have to wear headphones to counteract your tinnitus, medical dispensation from boss.

Contract ear infections.

That old favourite, be a grumpy mare, its that time of month.

[Shortie]

That old favourite, be a grumpy mare, its that time of month.

Mr Shortie would dissagree there.... he'd say I was grumpy mare all the time

But with the mergers going on in our place at the moment, who knows who I'll be sitting next to next month, if I'm not on 'Garden Leave' .....

[kirsty b]

For Discworld see: Foul Ole Ron "Buggrit, buggrem"

Or 'Coffin Henry'! a nice rattly cough might make her ask to be moved!