Home schooling

[Earthbabe]

Having just re-read a thread I contributed to last year this seems odd to write. Don't get me wrong I don't have a problem with my daughter's school although I have developed "views" about the state education system in general and I think the problems within are similar to the problems within the NHS and some of you will know exactly how I feel about that as a "healthcare professional". It is just that the system doesn't allow our little girl to be herself and I'm getting fed up of if almost being implied that I shouldn't consider my daughter's emotional needs - it's been a horrid few months with two deaths in the family among other things - and should drag her into school kicking and screaming "because it keeps her routine in place". Am I really such a bad mother for keeping her home when she is highly distressed?

So .....

Does anyone on here home school? If so, what do you use your lottie/garden for? Was there something specific that triggered the decision? How do you work the schedule? Do you/your partner work?

I'm just trying to get some ideas together and find a way through the mire. We are more or less decided but are struggling to work out the finer detail of how we will manage it and keep jobs etc. going.

[smallblueplanet]

Bet there must be specific forums or websites out there EB. Have a google too.

I can't comment on our schooling system because I've not been in it recently, but I figure if you look around at the types of environments kids are raised in and the fact most of them end up fairly reasonably well adjusted....well, why not 'home school'?

Can't see owt wrong with keeping your daughter at home either, but then I don't understand 'truant laws'.

Can't be many more things more important than health, happiness and peace of mind, however old you are? I hope things get better for you all. (Not being sarccy, but have you thought about living somewhere else?).

[SarzWix]

How big is the school she goes to EB? Is there a possibility of switching to a smaller one? We went through similar last year, after my Mum & uncle both died on the same day, then Dad got cancer midway through the year. #2 son was awful for a while afterwards, esp bad as my Mum used to be an NTA at their school. The staff were lovely though, understood his bad behaviour, and didn't argue too much about extra time off after I took him to the Doc's & got a kind of 'sick note'. They also helped to work out that his stress was directly linked to mine, and the worse I was the more badly he behaved...

I wouldn't dream of trying to teach my lot at home, not only because I don't feel well enough qualified to do it, but because I think they'd miss out on the social aspects too - would they end up going to secondary school not knowing anyone? Or Uni never having been among hundreds of other kids? Plus, of course, I'd probably have murdered them before then....!

The sites below all have relevant info about home-schooling, hope they help

Channel 4 - Family - Problems and Pressures
Advisory Centre for Education (ACE) Ltd.
Education Otherwise - Home Education Support Charity
H E A S

[Sue]

Earthbabe
There's a book coming out in May called Twenty Chickens for a Saddle and its an autobiography of a woman whose parents moved from New Zealand to Botswana, she and her younger sister and brother were home schooled in most unstructured way - no formal lessons really but it is very interesting to read of their education of sorts, huge amounts of freedom, huge amounts of reading which turned on their interest in wildlife and anything practical.
Also interesting to note that she asked to go to school when she was fifteen and gradually her brother and sister did too, they all three have university degrees now - more than one for the author too.

I was full of envy for her childhood, such freedom... well some of us have to live in suburbia and not the wilds of Botswana, but not having to go to school...

The title refers to part of her education. she wanted a new saddle and her parents wouldn't buy one for her, saying she had to earn it and had to come up with a business idea to make money (she was 12!) So she decided to keep chickens - which they did buy for her - with run, after that it was up to her and she was responsible for their upkeep, the selling of the eggs and the record keeping - she got her saddle.
best wishes
Sue

[Earthbabe]

Thanks SarzWix and Sue, I've got lots of internet info, but the book sounds really interesting. I'm looking for more specific info about individual experiences. I've got a local contact too so it's more out of interest in what others are doing in the areas I'm interested in.

The school is the nearest primary so 400 ish pupils. Class size 29 approx although reception this year is full. There isn't a school I would want her to switch too. The infant schools have the same size classes and feed into a junior school which we don't want her to attend.

She was fine last year. I'm sure the stress her dad and I have been under has contributed and we will see how we go over the next couple of months probably before making a final decision, but she generally doesn't like loud boisterous atmospheres. The school are aware and being reasonably ok about lateness (if she's been reluctant) but not very keen on any further absences although on days she has refused she has had to do work at home. We have some "study" materials that we bought to support her school work so are using that when we have a "no" day. Or, as the first day it happened, the screaming ab dabs in the classroom.

[Alison]

A friend of mine is an ex teacher who is now a stay at home mum with 3 young children. Funnily enough we were discussing home schooling the other day as somebody we both know a bit does this with her kids. My friend's view was that whilst she was very qualified to teach her children at home and would be motivated to make sure they got a wide range of experiences they would also miss out on their social development which they gain at school. I appreciate that some of the social aspects of school aren't ideal but neither are some aspects of life and you have to deal with them eventually. Must be difficult to see your child suffer but I'm guessing that to have them at home with you wouldn't be 100% ideal either!

[SarzWix]

The school is the nearest primary so 400 ish pupils. Class size 29 approx although reception this year is full. There isn't a school I would want her to switch too. The infant schools have the same size classes and feed into a junior school which we don't want her to attend.

That's a shame, we're very lucky here that we have a choice of 2 biggish primary schools & 2 tiny church schools within a couple of miles & 2 other small vilage primary schools within 3 miles. A friend whose daughter was struggling at our school (youngest in class & v. v. shy) swapped to one of the tiny church schools & is now happy as Larry.

I'm sure you'll find the allotment really useful if you do go ahead though - tons of relevant stuff to contribute to learning; maths to work out how many plants in a bed etc & money management for buying seeds etc, biology of plants & animals, climate, wildlife, healthy eating, exercise...

I would suggest as well, that even if you're not bothered about SATs & things, you should still do a test paper now & again to check that the teaching you're doing is keeping somewhere near where the 'official' teaching, so as not to run into problems with the LEA

The book sounds really interesting, Google found this; Twenty Chickens for a Saddle - Home

[yoanbob]

I used to house share with a single mum and her daughter, I would quite often be home alone with her and offer to take her out etc. her mums boyfriend was given the task of taking her to school while her mum was away for work, and she had the screaming ab dabs. (her farther had just put molotove cocktails around our house) but upon investigation it turned out she was having trouble with school bullys, once this was explained the school were much more accomodating than they were when it was problems at home.

[cottage garden]

I'm so sorry to hear about the deaths in the family and there is no doubt your daughter is having a difficult time settling at school when she must be either grieving herself or worried about you. What an awful time you are having! Nothing pulls at the heart strings more than seeing your child distressed. I hate to say it but what she probably needs at the moment is continuity when her home life is unsettled. Either homeschooling for good or back to school for good. Is she happy after you have dropped her off or does she mope all day? I have had a similar experience with my eldest who had some psychiatric episodes due to stress at school and not wanting to leave me, he had started hallucinating and developed neurotic OCD. Having him torn off me in the morning was the most awful thing.. I decided to keep him at school and change his home life to make him feel as secure as poss. My husband and I and our other children all lavished him with praise, we spoilt him a little with days out and gifts and just tried to make him as happy as we could to stop him being so clingy. We hid all stress from him and talked calmly all the time to give him a chance to restore himself. It took a while but worked.

The best thing that worked for me was to have someone different drop him off at school, ideally a friend of theirs with their parent obviously. My son used to happily go with them from my house and he didn't have the awful clinging at school.

IF, on the other hand she is unhappy all day at school and you are firmly wanting her to stay at home then there is an organisation called hedges that provides support for home tutoring and have meeting up days. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Tracey]

Hi Earthbabe

Sorry to hear about your recent losses and that your daughter is unsettled at school at the moment. How old is your daughter? My daughter had a phase of missing school for a few months when she was 11/12. She lost her appetite, lost weight and was generally 'not right' for a while. We took her to the doctors several times and they couldn't find anything wrong with her. The school nurse was involved because of her absence and weight loss. Eventually with dicussion with the school we phased her back by her just attending after lunch for a couple of weeks. This went really well and she's now fine (13).
I know of a few other children who had problems attending school around the same age. They eventally did get through it. I wonder if it's an age thing, as it seemed to accur just before pubity.

If you do go down the home-schooling route, you could socialise your daughter with clubs like brownies.

Best wishes with what ever you decide to do.

Kind regards

Tracey

[bluemoon]

Hi, Earthbabe. I'm an ex-teacher, and I'm an ex because the profession simply wasn't what I'd hoped for. As a child I remember many awful teachers, but I also remember many more who were good and a few who were downright inspirational. I wanted to be the inspirational sort, I wanted to pass on a fascination and awe with our planet and the natural world. Sadly, in these days of the national curriculum this is impossible, it isn't just children who can't be themselves it's the staff too. I then helped tutor a friend's son who was being home schooled and the difference between that experience and that of teaching in a school environment was wonderful. We still managed to follow the national curriculum, but in a way that was fulfilling for us both. I thoroughly enjoyed coming up with ideas and projects and then following them through and I'm sure that from a purely academic point of view he reached much higher level than he would have in a conventional classroom - our classroom was often out in the hills, following streams, watching the wildlife, noting the weather patterns. We very rarely resorted to kichen chemistry. It was how every child should learn. I'm not advocating it for everyone as it requires determination and dedication from a parent which many simply aren't in a position to give and I'd think long and hard before you make the decision, but, having said that, if you do make the decision to follow that route and then discover that it's simply not for you or your daughter then she would be accepted back into conventional education. My kids went to a local school and have all done well for themselves in later life, but I often wish I'd home schooled them.

[multiveg]

Re social interaction - Scouts/Guides/Brownies/Cubs/Woodcraft Folk. Also, try various other groups - drama/rspb?/local conservation/youth orchestra or even ballet!
My friend home educates her child who has a bigger social life than she does!