Male Midwife - Asks For Trouble?!

**OverWyreGrower** · 13-07-2009, 10:53 AM

Oh, I knew there was a reason why I switched this off on the news this morning!!!

I can see the point about lots of people going for epi's etc and the long term effects etc, and that's fair enough.

But 'rite of passage'? What's that all about??

My SIL had her 1st with no pain-relief at all (it was too late!) and had all sorts of complications. Despite having a 'natural birth' she was so ill afterwards and on so many painkillers that she couldn't breastfeed, nor bond with her baby. She didn't feed or bath him until he was about a month old as she wasn't well enough. Is that a rite of passage then?
Apparantly, if she had been brought into the hosp in time for an epidural, she wouldn't have had all the complications...

**jackie j** · 13-07-2009, 11:31 AM

Having had five children and had epidural for the first one and cant remember about the second if I did or not, lol. the following three I didnt have anything, no gas and air, zilch.
I bonded equally with all of them. I didnt breast feed untill I had my fourth and didnt get on with it and reverted to the bottle. I dont think the bonding process has anything to do with pain relief or breast feeding, it is more to do with how you are, if you are well enough to do everything for your baby from day one, not affected by complications then you will more than likely bond with your baby. Not everyone can bond anyway, that may be to do with the relationship with their own mother, or the relationship they are in at the time. I was offended when I couldnt breastfeed and didnt want to by a young midwife who had never had a baby trying to tell me it was easy, so it may be for some but not me.

**JILLY JACKSON** · 13-07-2009, 11:32 AM

Have had four children,epidural with the first one as it took so long,episiotomys with some of the others.One thing i learnt is ,no two births are the same(for me)Also,every body is different so you can not set a rule on these matters.I bonded with all four children but i have a friend who suffered dreadful pnd,she had a normal birth.This poor fella will certainly suffer through his remarks!I sort of feel sorry for him.

**HeyWayne** · 13-07-2009, 12:04 PM

I had an epidural, but never gave birth.

**Two_Sheds** · 13-07-2009, 12:51 PM

It's just been on Jeremy Vine.

I wonder if the male midwife would have an operation w/o anaesthetic?

**basketcase** · 13-07-2009, 12:57 PM

Originally posted by Two_Sheds View Post

It's just been on Jeremy Vine.

I wonder if the male midwife would have an operation w/o anaesthetic?

Possibly circumcision?

**allotmentlady** · 13-07-2009, 01:50 PM

I would love to see a man just have 1 pregnancy and give birth! I by the way had no pain relief and not thru my own choice!

**phil the shed** · 13-07-2009, 01:57 PM

Originally posted by Two_Sheds View Post

It's just been on Jeremy Vine.

I wonder if the male midwife would have an operation w/o anaesthetic?

funny how he was to busy today to make the interview with jeremy ( methinks he is hiding in the cupboard)

i would never dream of saying to my oh no pain relief for you darling feel the birth it helps you bond!!!!!!!
she's done alright with our three
and for that i'm eternally grateful

**zazen999** · 13-07-2009, 04:45 PM

I think I might go over to the Uni tomorrow and squeeze his thumb really hard until he cries. What a muppet.

**squashysu** · 13-07-2009, 04:54 PM

ooo lets see how he copes with no gas and air or epidural and giving birth to twins in 3 hours start to finish lol! and as for the epidural stopping the contractions or slowing them, this happened to me for half an hour and i didnt even have one!!!! i had to wait half an hour for the other baby to appear lol!

mind you will still say kidney stones are worse lol!

**Hilary B** · 13-07-2009, 05:49 PM

If he means that 'epidural is being used too often, needed or not' he may perhaps be right, but yes, of course a MAN saying anything of the kind is asking for trouble.
Let's add a few random thoughts on the subject.
While there is some evidence of epidurals prolonging labour (sometimes) that has nothing to do with bonding or otherwise.
Some women are never going to be good at bonding (just as some people are no good at other affection situations, it's part of some folk's personality!). Maybe non-bonders are also quicker to ask for epidural pain relief than others?
Is the 'gas-and-air' option still used? I get the impression it has been phased out, and if so, then maybe the extra epidurals are the result of that change?
It could even relate to the 'machinery'. Modern hospitals can use masses of monitoring equipment, and when I was giving birth (a while ago now), the use of these gadgets meant laying flat on your back! That slows things down and makes them more painful!

**NOG** · 13-07-2009, 05:52 PM

Come on Child birth is nothing....My Mrs gave birth and I was back on my plot that afternoon weeding as usual.

**petal** · 13-07-2009, 07:03 PM

I know I felt irritated by midwives who had never given birth telling me to calm down, remember to breath, or be quiet - nothing more guaranteed to make me violent!! The more drugs the better!

**Winged one** · 13-07-2009, 08:01 PM

If a lady about to give birth wants an epi, and its feasible, then fine. If she doesn't, and wants to give birth standing on her head, and there are no complications, then that should be fine too.

Here, epis are becoming the norm and the hospitals are far more into "active management" (which really means - "BE A GOOD GIRL, LIE THERE ON YOUR BACK, AND JUST PUSH THAT LITTLE PEA OUT YOUR GREAT BIG WOOHOO, NO NEED FOR ANY NOISE NOW, IT'S ALL PERFECTLY NATURAL" patting on the head). Sorry for the caps, hit it by accident but at a very opportune point as it's true.

If we EVER have another, and that is neither ruled in nor out at present, I am pushing for a homebirth to avoid pain-in-the-neck docs telling me what to do and refusing to allow me get on with what comes naturally.

That said, my sis had an epi on her second and found it great. And I have lots of friends who have done lots of different things - and no one thing seems to make a difference in terms of bonding.. Breast or bottle feeding, cloth or disposible nappies, epi or natural birth, hospital or home birth, SAHM or heading back to work after only a few weeks.......

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Male Midwife - Asks For Trouble?!

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