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  • #1

    Another Dollop from the Devils Satanic Herd.

    Ok, so Mum went to my brother up in Kent for Christmas.
    She was supposed to be there until the 17th Jan, but managed to go down with a chest infection which landed her in Margate hospital for three weeks. She came out for two days and went down with Novavirus and had to be re-admitted.
    While she was in there the first time she was examined by a team of students who "discovered" a lump. This was no news to us as we had already had the dotor down here look at it and been assured it was "an old age thing" and nothing to worry about. She'll be eighty in September.
    Turns out it is. Breast Cancer.
    With all mum's health problems - heart desease, lung desease, kidney desease, COPD, asthma, diabetes - we all said, "Well at least she hasn't got THAT".
    The chances of operating are nil due to the fact thar she probably wouldn't survive the operation, and they are talking about Radiation and Hormonal Therapy.
    I've known about this for a couple of days, but having spoken to my brother about getting her home and beginning treatment -with all it entails, I'm suddenly feeling just a tad overwhelmed and not a little shakey!
    Sorry to bum you all out on a Monday morning, but I could do with knowing I'm not alone in all this.
    When the Devil gives you Cowpats - make Satanic Compost!
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  • #2
    The Big C. Scary isn't it? (I got it in '96 but my sheer bloody-mindedness kept me going this long)

    My FiL now has advanced prostate cancer (it's gone to his bones) and he is now having palliative care (pills, which he won't take).

    Spoil your Mum, give her treats, take her out. Talk with her, love her.

    If you get overwhelmed, or have questions, give MacMillan a call
    Last edited by Two_Sheds; 08-02-2010, 09:47 AM.
    All gardeners know better than other gardeners." -- Chinese Proverb.

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    • #3
      Our daughter in law had breast cancer nearly seven years ago and went through chemo and major surgery. She has made a fully recovery but then she at least had youth on her side being only 37 at the time.
      As Two sheds says, love her, support her, be there for her. BUT also take care of yourself and your family. Life for everyone tends to be put on hold while you all cope with this but you will get through it.
      My thoughts are with you.

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      • #4
        Thanks Guys.
        Mum is VERY bloody-minded, so she will make a fight of it I think. Trouble is she's fought so long and so hard over her other health issues, I don't know how much more fight she's got left. "One day at a time" will have to be my mantra for now.
        When the Devil gives you Cowpats - make Satanic Compost!

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        • #5
          There are few of us who haven't been touched by the disease in some way - personally or through a close family member or friend. My father died six and a half years ago from a massive brain tumour. By the time they discovered it, there was nothing that could be done. We used the short time we had left to spend 'time' with him, tell and show him how much we loved him, and support him. God love you and your family Creemteez, it's never easy. Show your Mum how much you love her, and be there for her.
          A good beginning is half the work.
          Praise the young and they will make progress.

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          • #6
            Two-sheds has said it far better than I could ever do. When my beloved Grandma was told she had lung cancer she decided to have one blast of Radiotherapy and then leave nature to take it's course and enjoy what time she had left.

            I used the time to say all the things I'd always wanted to her know about my love and appreciation of her and to say thanks for her unconditional love. There are parts of it when it's really painful and extremely sad but I'm so glad we had that time together. One of the things I drew major comfort from after she died was knowing she knew how much I had cherished her and thats I wasn't left with regrets.

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            • #7
              That's awful news CT, truly awful. Luckily, as you say, she is a fighter. My thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself too!
              All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
              Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

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              • #8
                My thoughts are with you too, Creemteez.
                My Dad has terminal cancer too...its hard to do, but enjoy the time you have left as much as possible.

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                • #9
                  I am so sorry you've had such wretched news. I hope you can find the strength from somewhere to enjoy the time with your mum, and share as much as possible in the time she has. I hope her treatment goes well.
                  I don't roll on Shabbos

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                  • #10
                    Your poor mum has gone through a lot hasn't she Creemteez. My F.I.L. died from prostate cancer a few years ago when he was in his early eighties, they couldn't operate on him either because of his health & the fact that it had progressed too far. Just try & treat your mum as normal, except for obviously showing her how much you love her of course. Hope you find the strength to cope with it all, take care.
                    Into every life a little rain must fall.

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                    • #11
                      Nothing I can say here will make things any easier for you - nothing ever can fully prepare you for it I guess, but when the time comes make sure she's as comfortable as can be, that she has everything she needs and sees everyone she needs to see.

                      My Nan asked to see us all when she was in the hospice - she'd never wanted us there before. We all went to see her and she then passed away the next day.

                      I'm glad I went.

                      My heart goes out to you.
                      Last edited by HeyWayne; 08-02-2010, 01:55 PM.
                      A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

                      BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

                      Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.

                      What would Vedder do?

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                      • #12
                        You're a lovely bunch of grapes, you know that, don't you.
                        When my brother told me the news, I wondered what was wrong with me as I felt so little emotion (Am I dead inside???), but I think it's starting to hit home now.
                        Your support is really appreciated!
                        Teez
                        When the Devil gives you Cowpats - make Satanic Compost!

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Creemteez View Post
                          When my brother told me the news, I wondered what was wrong with me as I felt so little emotion (Am I dead inside???), but I think it's starting to hit home now.
                          That'll be the numb feeling that shock sometimes manifests itself as. I was the same when I found out Nan died. Perfectly normal.
                          A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

                          BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

                          Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.

                          What would Vedder do?

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Creemteez View Post
                            I wondered what was wrong with me as I felt so little emotion (Am I dead inside???)
                            Teez
                            No, you're not dead inside. Your body and mind are preparing to cope with what is ahead. As you said, you have to take one day at a time, tell your Mum how much you love her, and let her talk to you too if she wants too. The emotion will hit sometime, and the tears, and don't be afraid to show it. My daughter had cancer some time ago, and the only time I let go was when the hospital phoned to say she had come through the op. I phoned my son to let him know and he just said "Do you want me to come over". I said yes, and spent the evening crying on his shoulder - talk about role reversal!! But I needed him, and he needed me to need him (if you see what I mean). My thoughts are with you and yours.

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                            • #15
                              Why...is a question I've been asking myself a lot lately and really there is no answer.
                              All you can do is show your mum that you'll be there for her what ever she decides to do, Its clear to see you lover you mum very deeply and its very painful to see what is happening to her, but elderly parents have a strong inner strength and a desire to protect us, it's a fact of life that terrible things happen to our parents and we feel helpless and alone at time's, your not a weak person for feeling like this its the sidewinder affect, we can't always predict how we're going to react to things we have no control over, but you have your brother for support so take strength in each other and The fact your mum loves you both very dearly and always will.
                              The Vine family have helped me over the last few weeks, there a fantastic group of individuals and a great combined shoulder.
                              (((((((((BIG HUGS))))))) are sent to you. xx
                              Last edited by ginger ninger; 08-02-2010, 03:27 PM.

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