advice on parenting.......

**shirlthegirl43** · 03-06-2009, 07:26 PM

Where does he steal them from? It is a difficult thing to deal with when a child has trouble understanding right and wrong. If possible, can you take him to the place where he stole and make him return and apologise?

**veggielover** · 03-06-2009, 07:29 PM

Its from home.... the kitchen, He doesn't get to the shops on his own. Want to knock this on the head before i let him loose in shops!!

The other thing is he is blaming his sister...... or making sure his sister eats some of the spoils too so she's getting into trouble with him!!!!

**shirlthegirl43** · 03-06-2009, 07:45 PM

Ah. Not sure that it is the ADHD to blame to be honest, sounds just like the behaviour we had from ours at various ages. Gentle explanation of how dangerous it is to tell fibs is a start. I dealt with similar behaviour by stopping having biccies and treats in the house until I got a 'confession'. I always ask both boys (separately) for their version of events then make a judgement based on both stories. I don't claim to be a perfect parent - I don't think they exist.

How old is your daughter? My brother (4 years younger than me) used to get me in the hugest piles of trouble just so he would get attention.

**SarzWix** · 03-06-2009, 07:46 PM

Mine went through this at a similar age, and they aren't diagnosed with anything! I just stopped buying anything like that at all, and explained why every time they whinged about not having any in the house. Anything I bought for myself, I locked away. At 14 and 12 the boys have more or less grown out of it, although the little 'un (aged 8) is starting to be a bit of a b*gger for it now

**NOG** · 03-06-2009, 07:49 PM

Two options:
1. give him some responcibility for manage his intake of snacks let him have so many a day and leave it up to him. If he scoff the lot on day one...don't buy any the next week.
2. lock them away so he cant get to them.

Or stop buying them

**veggielover** · 03-06-2009, 07:50 PM

She is 5, I don't use his ADHD as an excuse, and i never will its just so much harder to expain things to him as it would a child without ADHD, he processes stuff so much slower than his peers, his sister is no innocent and she does do her best to get him into trouble but the truth always comes out within 10 mins.

**veggielover** · 03-06-2009, 07:52 PM

NOOOOO can't stop buying them........ i like them too!!!!! lol

**Two_Sheds** · 03-06-2009, 08:01 PM

Originally posted by veggielover View Post

My son ...recently began stealing..... so far its only biscuits, chocolate crisps...

easy solution (I use it on Mr Sheds) hide the stuff

**Two_Sheds** · 03-06-2009, 08:03 PM

Or a sneaky, mean solution ...

I used to steal marzipan etc from the cupboards. One day I nicked a handful of sliced almonds, stuffed them in my gob - but Mum had swapped them with some sliced dried onions.

That cured me.

**SarzWix** · 03-06-2009, 08:14 PM

Originally posted by veggielover View Post

NOOOOO can't stop buying them........ i like them too!!!!! lol

Originally posted by SarzWix View Post

Anything I bought for myself, I locked away.

..........

**shirlthegirl43** · 03-06-2009, 08:16 PM

Put things where the kids won't find them - under lock and key if need be. Then they really will become treats for when behaviour deserves rewarding.

**FionaH** · 03-06-2009, 08:19 PM

Originally posted by veggielover View Post

She is 5, I don't use his ADHD as an excuse, and i never will its just so much harder to expain things to him as it would a child without ADHD, he processes stuff so much slower than his peers, his sister is no innocent and she does do her best to get him into trouble but the truth always comes out within 10 mins.

My youngest was just the same, we never ever used his ADHD as an excuse but it dont half make 'em hard to live with

When he went through this phase I just stopped buying the stuff. To be honest sugary foods made his behaviour worse anyway. It does take ages to get things through, wasnt helped by the fact he had no sense of consequences for his actions, it just didnt compute for him. Hang in there it does get better.

**shirlthegirl43** · 03-06-2009, 08:27 PM

Our younger son (13) has mild Tourette's (facial twiching and strange sounds sometimes) along with very mild spinibifida (excuse my spelling please). No form of bad manners is permitted - full stop. If you are firm, fair and always keep the 'line' in the same place, they do eventually get the message. I often feel that Sam possibly has ADHD as I never feel he, as Fiona puts it, appreciates the consequences of his behaviour. My sister in law calls me the Victorian mum and threatens her kids with a visit to me if they don't behave. I am strict, I confess that, but I am constant with it and I think that might be the most important thing. My mum had a tendency to tolerate something one day and not tolerate the same thing the next day which leaves a child wondering where they stand.

di · 03-06-2009, 08:48 PM

Sorry,right now don't feel the best mum to be offering advice,but reading Shirl's post above wanted to add my little comment!
I used to work with Adults with quite severe learning disabilities.Before you ever met the parents,you had a rough idea of what kind of parents they were!Those with parents that constantly made allowances for their disability often grew up to be rude & I hate to say it,not particularly likeable...those with the same diagnosed disability but parents that brought them up with the same discipline as they would their siblings were generally polite & charming adults.
Just because things don't necessarily come as natural to a child with learning difficulties,it doesn't mean you can't teach them manners & help them to become polite decent adults later on in life!

In my experience with ADHD,it doesn't take them long to suss if you make allowances & they will start playing on it!That said,I know how tough it is & if my post seems overly critical,please rest assured it's not intended that way!...Wish you all the best & hope you manage to resolve the snack situation!x

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