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  • What would you do?

    After some advice please. You are the only peeps who I know will give me sensible advice on something like this.

    The lady who used to live next door to us had a long-haired cat which rarely interacted with anyone bar it's human, her partner and occasionally the lady who lives the other side. It ran a mile if I stuck my head over the fence and gave me that look that only cats can give - you know the one that says it's not really afraid and can take me any time it wants.

    Anyway said neighbour died suddenly without leaving a will and everything passed to her son whose communication and relationship skills are not the best - bless him! He moved into the house and we noticed that over a period of time the cat was spending more and more time outdoors, even sleeping out overnight when previously it slept on the bed etc. The son never called it in to be fed (as the neighbour used to) and generally seemed to ignore it although he claims to be a cat lover.

    There is now also a lodger who reckons the cat eats a phenomenal amount. I don't know what they feed it but some days the door stays shut all day so I don't know when it is let in to be fed. We were starting to get concerned and were aware that the neighbours the other side were feeding it from time to time.

    About three weeks ago the cat walked into our lobby area and stuck it's head in our cats' food bowl. This has now become a regular occurrence. I discussed it with the neighbour from the other side who said they had been feeding it and had been told categorically and very rudely that they were not to feed it, it is the son's cat and he'll look after it in whatever way he sees fit and "there's nothing you can do about it". They don't want to get involved.

    Understandably Mr EB and I saw red. We discussed reporting him to the RSPCA, picking the cat up, losing the collar and taking it in as a stray and various other scenarios.

    In the meantime we have continued to feed it when we know the door is shut and no-one is/has been in and the "owner" is at the pub unlikely to be in before 11.30pm. Ie we know it won't be getting an evening meal. It is difficult to tell how thin it is due to the fur and Mr EB suggested giving it a wash (in flea shampoo), a worm and a hairball treatment which would probably have to be done on a warm day when we know the cat will dry off completely before anyone arrives home next door. If the neighbour finds out we'll probably get abuse

    There is a security issue at the back that involves the neighbour's fence and we need to get his co-operation to put in a higher fence and a solid gate so Mr EB is a bit reluctant to take things further until that has been achieved.

    Ultimately we want to do whatever is right for the cat. We can't really take it in as we have three (all like the sprawled out one on the avatar - that's Jasper) and it just hisses at them.

    So back to the thread title. What would you do in this situation?
    Last edited by Earthbabe; 07-08-2008, 07:44 AM. Reason: Extend post without losing it.
    Bright Blessings
    Earthbabe

    If at first you don't succeed, open a bottle of wine.

  • #2
    What a dilemma. Rather than take any organised action, could you put food and water in your garden 'for your cats' and then next door cat can help itself? Any complaints could not really be directed at you as you could say that it is not your fault their cat is so hungry that it comes in and steals.
    Happy Gardening,
    Shirley

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    • #3
      what a sad story, i'm a big cat lover with 2 of my own and recently i have been having problems with other people feeding one of my cats which has caused me a fair bit of upset so from my prospective the neighbour may get upset with you feeding their cat and i can understand why

      however...

      you obviously care enough to notice and it sounds like poor kitty is really struggling. so in that case i would say feed him, foster him if you like.

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      • #4
        Thanks.

        shirlthegirl - that's pretty much the view we've been taking although not as overtly. If we are in and esp during the summer the back door is open. We generally ignore the neighbour's cat if it comes in and eats from the other bowl. Some of the other cats also stop over so we take the view that if the door is open or they come in when we are not there there is nothing we can do about it and have done no wrong. Only one cat gets shooed off as his humans have put him on a diet and asked us to shoo him away if he comes in the door/cat flap. Our boys don't seem to mind who shares their bowl (they all share one bowl anyway) so we let them all get on with it and put it down to the fact that just maybe it's because our boys get good food - raw fish, body parts etc. that they all want a share.

        rainbowbrite - I'd probably be cross if I found someone was feeding my boys although they are quite obviously well fed and looked after. I'd feel differently about the neighbour's attitude and him getting upset with us feeding the cat if I knew the cat was well cared for and being fed properly and regularly. We have been able to get closer to it then we ever could while it's "mum" was alive and it is quite clear that the cat is being neglected, hence the suggestion from Mr EB that we give it a bath etc.
        Bright Blessings
        Earthbabe

        If at first you don't succeed, open a bottle of wine.

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        • #5
          A difficult and sad situation,

          Cats are canny animals and are great at surviving - I think as above. Leave kitty some food and if asked, just state that it was for your cats and their cat helps it's self.
          Now if they are hurting kitty then it's a whole different matter!!!!

          I have two cats, sometimes six! - many local cats come to visit! I know all the owners and we work as a sort of a 'collective' we all have our own cats, but other cats as I say 'visit' though home time IS home time! I am very lucky to have such nice people near, if a cat is missing we all go out looking!

          Good luck and please keep us posted

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          • #6
            Thanks HF.

            We get extended play dates with ours. I've looked out the window sometimes to see 7 or 8 cats playing "tag". Most of the neighbours cats that ours "play" with are similar ages so they are very used to being around each other.

            I'll keep you all posted. If the weather picks up again we may risk the scratches to check t'other's physical condition closer.
            Bright Blessings
            Earthbabe

            If at first you don't succeed, open a bottle of wine.

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            • #7
              You can report to the rspca and they wont reveal who reported it. My sister did this recently about a neighbours dog who was shut in the car all day everyday when the other dog was kept in the house.
              Gardening ..... begins with daybreak
              and ends with backache

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              • #8
                At a guess I would say the cat, is already looking to see where its new home may be, hence why its happy to come and eat your food. The hissing is self defense mechanism to warn your cats that it won't take any nonsense. I would do as the others have suggested and put food out for it, and possibly give it somewhere to sleep if it wants to. Cats instinctively know where the grass is greener, and will move, you never own a cat you are priveledged to have its company.
                I'm only here cos I got on the wrong bus.

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                • #9
                  Of course the extended concern about the owners is that if they're not feeding it, are they going to do all the veterinary stuff too?

                  Sounds to me like the cat is sussing out a new home.
                  If you feed it, it may well choose you!

                  What would I do??? Hmmmmm....hard one
                  "Nicos, Queen of Gooooogle" and... GYO's own Miss Marple

                  Location....Normandy France

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                  • #10
                    I would agree with what the others have said. We feed our cat outside (there is no room in the kitchen and she only eats dried food) and she stays out all night too (this stems from when we had our first baby and she hated the noise at night!). She is very happy with this arrangement. But your neighbour's cat is used to something totally different and sounds like it is suffering from the change in its routine/treatment.

                    I would leave a small dish of dried food outside - available to all - and then the son can't complain that you're feeding the cat as such. Just remember not to use fish based food (in case you get hedgehogs - we do!).

                    Good luck!

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                    • #11
                      just asked a friend of mine who works for the rspca if it was worth calling a complaint through and he said no. the cat is able to leave and therefore would not be considered cruelty. if anything they would treat it as a stray and rehome.

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                      • #12
                        I'm quite a relaxed cat owner myself, meaning that I know my cats do what they darn well want. They come back for food and I'll often wake up in the morning to find them both squashing me off my pillow, but it doesn't worry me that a few doors down feed them bits of ham, or that one of my cats seems to spend every waking outdoor minute laying amoungst the flowers of the lady directly opposite (I know he does this because he comes trotting over when he sees me put up in my car, and trots back when I walk up to the front door after I've tickled him)

                        Myself, I'd put out food - your neighbours can't stop you doing this as much as you can't stop others feeding yours. A cat will eat where it wants to which is why it doesn't worry me when they've eaten elsewhere as long as they're not causing problems where they're going. And if he challenges you, tell him the food is for your cats. If he challenges you and tells you to stop it because his cat is eating there too pretend to be innocent and tell him you were totally unaware it was happening, but you're not stopping the outdoor food as your cats are now in a routine of finding it there blah, blah, blah....

                        If you can get close enough to check the cat out, then that's a good idea. If there are no serious health problems leave it be and be happy knowing it's at least getting fed by yourself. If there's a real health problem, mention it kindly to next door, saying it came up for a tickle and you noticed x, y and z. If the problem isn't cleared, think about reporting it to the RSPCA. I wouldn't go down the route of defleaing and worming the cat. You never know for one if it's only just been done and you've overdosed the poor thing. That's one route I wouldn't go down personally

                        If a cat's not happy, it'll move on (most likely to yours by the sounds of it). It sounds like this is already starting. Cat's aren't daft and they know what side their bread is buttered
                        Shortie

                        "There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children; one of these is roots, the other wings" - Hodding Carter

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                        • #13
                          The thing is if you remove the cat and loose its collar, there is a possibility it might have a microchip in and be returned to your neighbour.

                          To get it away from there would have to be done legally, if it were me, and i'm not suggesting this might suite your situation, i would offer them money for the cat, then get it re-homed.

                          Hope it works out for you.
                          Blogging at..... www.thecynicalgardener.wordpress.com

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                          • #14
                            i would feed the cat as you are already doing, on the sly, the poor thing, i am not really a cat person, but 3 weeks ago we were adopted by "robbie" then ginger tom, he used to live down the road and they moved about 2 years ago and he keeps coming back to here, they have tried everything and then asked us if he turned up again, would we like him!

                            firstly, i said no as OH is allergic, but when he came back again, we started to feed him, wormed him and deflead him and left a note at his owners house, who then phoned to say that we could adopt him, the kids are estatic and now called him "the robster" he is a kind, lovely cat and i couldnt see him living off the fields out the back of our house, he isnt allowed in the lounge, due to the hairs, but he sleeps with the girls and is allowed the study & kitchen when i am out! my dad is gonna make him a cat hotel for during the day when i am back to work and school is back.

                            Your neighbour sounds really inconsiderate and a complete and utter dipstick! this poor puss has lots its mum, and even though he has as well, you would have thought that he would have connected with the puss.

                            I couldnt see it unloved and unfed, so i would carry on with what you are doing, on the quiet so that you can get your other things resolved first! hopefully, he may turn into a responsible animal owner eventually!

                            x

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                            • #15
                              Update

                              Just to let you all know that I have now reported the neighbour's cat to the RSPCA. The poor thing is looking even thinner and more bedraggled and sounds even more distressed when you try to touch him. He also seems to be struggling to get down and up. He's learnt to use a cat flap and has developed a taste for biscuits which he has not previously condescended to eat.

                              Mr EB was a bit worried but I feel I have done the right thing. I admit I was cross when I made the decision but I'm angry that someone can do that to a very dependent animal. We are going away for a week tomorrow and the cat seems to be going downhill since I first posted, so no time like the present really.

                              I just hope the cat will be ok or if not at least he will no longer be suffering and at least I have put my money where my mouth is so to speak. I'm sure it won't take anyone long to work out who reported the neglect but I'm not going to let that stop me taking steps to ensure the cat gets some care.
                              Bright Blessings
                              Earthbabe

                              If at first you don't succeed, open a bottle of wine.

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