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| General chitchat Got something non-GYO related to get off your chest? Feel free to talk about anything you like! (Keep it clean) |
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25-10-2006, 01:48 PM
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 Loss of gardening friend Yesterday I went to the funeral of my gardening friend & neighbour who was only in her mid fifties. She introduced me to growing things in the garden, along with my late father-in-law, by giving me cuttings & seedlings over the garden fence where we used to chat & put he world to rights (along with taking the mickey out of our O.H.s). Although we were very different people in some ways we also had a lot in common being artistic, loving nature & gardening, decorating & being a bit on the quiet side. I knew she wasn't well but she told me 'the doctor couldn't do anything & she'd get better by herself', when in fact she'd not been near a doctor. Like me she was very nervous about going to the doctor's but in her case it seems to have been a phobia & she refused to let her husband phone for a doctor until a few weeks ago when she finally gave in, a few weeks later she died - cervical cancer. Please, any ladies on the vine, get your self checked regularly at the doctor's/clinic & don't die in vain as she has. Sorry to put on a downer on everything but I had to tell someone about the sad loss.
__________________ Into every life a little rain must fall.      |
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25-10-2006, 02:20 PM
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| Sad news Sue, My thoughts are with you. |
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25-10-2006, 02:44 PM
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| Such a sad waste.... Perhaps you could plant one of her favourite fruit trees or bushes to remember her by? I'm sure she would have liked that. Each year when you crop the fruit, you would celebrate her memory. |
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25-10-2006, 02:45 PM
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| Words don't ever seem to do justice when this happens. My thoughts are with you, I'm sure you'll remember your friend whenever you're in the garden. Are you going to plant something in her memory? |
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25-10-2006, 02:49 PM
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| My thoughts are with you Sue. I'm sure you will always remember her in the garden, looking at the plants she gave you and helped you with. They will always get your special attention. |
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25-10-2006, 03:12 PM
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| Sorry to hear that Sue
__________________ Shortie "There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children; one of these is roots, the other wings" - Hodding Carter |
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25-10-2006, 06:30 PM
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| How terribly sad you must feel. Especially as it could have been caught in time. And yes your wake up post has struck home. Mine's way overdue and I've just been lazy about it. I'll be on that phone tomorrow booking my appointment. |
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25-10-2006, 06:39 PM
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| I'm so sorry to hear about your friend Sue. My thoughts are with you - especially as I had (sorry guys - shut your eyes to this - it's a woman thing) an abnormal smear test a few years ago. I was fortunate and was lucky to have an operation and everything was OK. I still get nervous when I have to go to the doctors for my 3 yearly check (and yes, this year was the year!) BUT for a few moments embarrassment it CAN and DOES save lives! Don't wait until tomorrow - go and see the doctor now. DDL
__________________ Appreciate the little things in life because one day you will realise they are the big things |
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25-10-2006, 06:46 PM
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| Quote:
I'm really grateful that Sue put this post on the vine and shared this painful news with us. It could be a life saver for someone. |
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25-10-2006, 06:56 PM
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| When my lovely old neighbour of many years died her home was just cleared by her relatives to the county tip. I took some of her pots which she had planted up with seasonal flowers. They produce lilies and carnations in Summer and various spring bulbs. We remember her whenever they bloom. |
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25-10-2006, 07:07 PM
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| How sad Sue when it could have been avoided. My neighbour who lived facing me died from the same thing. She would'nt see a doctor and died at 49. Her husband went around us all telling us not to neglect ourselves like his wife did. Its a wake-up call to all of us and thanks for that. I;m sure you'll never forget her. |
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25-10-2006, 07:32 PM
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| Sorry to hear about your loss Sue. Get those check up girls - they can and do save lives. Knew someone (a nurse actually) who neglected to follow up and she ended up having a hysterectomy at 29. AND - all of you gents out there - we know men hate going to the doctors but any problems with 'tackle'/waterworks, don't waste time off to the GP! |
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25-10-2006, 08:39 PM
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| Sorry to hear of the loss Sue, my deepest condolences to you, her family and all who knew her! I'm not too far away, so if there's anything we can do, just holler, ok?
__________________ Blessings Suzanne (aka Mrs Dobby) 'Garden naked - get some colour in your cheeks'!  The Dobby's Pumpkin Patch - a blogspot work in progress! Last updated 26th November2008 - more new piccies! |
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25-10-2006, 11:40 PM
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| Sue, so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm sure you will find many ways to remember your friend. It is such a shame her loss could have been prevented but that loss may well save another life judging be the responses here so it is not entirely in vain. My thoughts are with you at this time and with her family and those who knew her.
__________________ Bright Blessings Earthbabe If at first you don't succeed, open a bottle of wine. |
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26-10-2006, 02:05 PM
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| Thanks for all your kind words. I'm glad that this sad news might spur some of you like Pickledtink to go for a check up & agree that the men on the vine should keep an eye on their health too & not be afraid to visit the doctor's - my father-in-law died a couple of years ago from prostate cancer & possibly would have lived longer if he had got treatment earlier. I also had some treatment about 15 years ago DDL after abnormal smear tests, it only took about 20 mins under local anaesthetic as an outpatient & I've been clear ever since so it distresses me that this could have saved my friend too if she could have faced up to it. She loved wild flowers & fuchsias (which her late father had shown her how to grow- he was a fuchsia nut!) & I'll always be able to remember her by the rampant red campions all over the garden which she grew & gave some to me & then we spent the rest of our time trying to stop them self-seeding everywhere! 
__________________ Into every life a little rain must fall. |
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26-10-2006, 02:47 PM
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| My old boss was the same exnurse when things started to change thought it was the menopause didnt get it checked she died 6 months later remember you cant see yourself a smear can show the problem before the symptons arrive my thoughts are with you sue A |
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26-10-2006, 02:58 PM
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| Sorry to hear about your loss SueA - cancer is such a terrible thing, and what's even worse is when someone is so scared of hearing that they have cancer, that they refuse to see a doctor in case their worst fear is confirmed. I used to work as radiographer in radiotherapy, so I have seen so many patients with cancer, and it's such a shame when you come across the people that have waited, because they're too scared to see someone, and you know that things could have been different. I can't stress enough the importance of getting yourselves checked, and looking after your OH too. If you're a girl, then making sure the boys go to see the doctor if they're any problems 'down below', and for men (OK Nick.... no need to be dirty when I say this), but it's important for men to say if they notice any differences in their wives and girlfriends. - I've seen cases where men noticed that the women's breasts looked different (dimpling etc...) and they hadn't even noticed themselves, and it turned out to be breast cancer. So there we go.... look after yourself, but look after each other too It's encouraging to hear everyone saying they're going to keep on top of their checks - so hopefully SueA, your unfortunate and sad loss will have a happier ending in the long run Gosh... I've gone all soppy here |
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26-10-2006, 06:50 PM
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| Sue - it's lovely that you've got some of your friends favourite flowers in your garden to remember her by. I think that as well as letting us all know about your friend, you have raised a very important issue. Good things do come out of sad things. Well done, it must have been very hard to talk about it. If there is anything I can do, or if you want to talk send me a PM. DDL
__________________ Appreciate the little things in life because one day you will realise they are the big things |
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26-10-2006, 07:39 PM
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| There seem to be two sides to this thread - medical and memories. I agree wholeheartedly with the medical posts above, but in terms of memories, ANY chance you have of sharing your plants with family and friends means that you will always have something to remember them by. My mother, a great flower gardener, often used to send me cuttings in the post. At the time I didn't realise the importance, but now 9 years after her death, I feel she is in the garden with me all the time. I have her geraniums and Japanese anemones in the borders and have now planted geraniums in the veg garden so she is there with me as well. When I look around my garden (well perhaps not today, because it looks a bit decimated with the wind and frost) I have so many plants given to me by my mother, brother and sister in law and close friends, and I must also add others on this Vine, that I can truly call it a memories garden. I do alot of scrapbooking, creating memories from old photographs, but I realise that I also have this in my garden too - a gardening scrapbook! Hope this doesn't sound too sentimental (not meant to) but it is really nice to look out each summer on a garden of friends and lo |