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Dear Mr Bono;
It has been brought to my attention that you and your troop of travelling players are to visit my area this very evening. I would like to draw your attention to the following map.
A <---------> X <----------> B
Where A is my house, B is the allotment where my chickens live and X is the place where you have planned for your musical extravaganza. As you can see, you are slap bang in the middle. The road closures in the area and subsequent traffic congestion on those which remain open are going to make attending to my chickens very difficult. Were the local chickens taken into consideration when this was planned?
Furthermore, I doubt that many will actually even turn up to watch because; 1) it's raining and; 2) you have named your group of musicians "You Too" which, in my opinion, is not particularly memorable and will never catch on.
Finally may I draw your attention to the antics of a Mr M. Jagger who, a while ago, had similar plans to your own and used the very same field. The music on that occasion was less heard by the ears and more felt through the soles of the feet and to make matters worse he then ignited several metric tonnes of fireworks. Any repeat of these shenannegins, which then result in my hens going off lay and you will be held personally responsible.
yours Mrs B. Moon.
It has been brought to my attention that you and your troop of travelling players are to visit my area this very evening. I would like to draw your attention to the following map.
A <---------> X <----------> B
Where A is my house, B is the allotment where my chickens live and X is the place where you have planned for your musical extravaganza. As you can see, you are slap bang in the middle. The road closures in the area and subsequent traffic congestion on those which remain open are going to make attending to my chickens very difficult. Were the local chickens taken into consideration when this was planned?
Furthermore, I doubt that many will actually even turn up to watch because; 1) it's raining and; 2) you have named your group of musicians "You Too" which, in my opinion, is not particularly memorable and will never catch on.
Finally may I draw your attention to the antics of a Mr M. Jagger who, a while ago, had similar plans to your own and used the very same field. The music on that occasion was less heard by the ears and more felt through the soles of the feet and to make matters worse he then ignited several metric tonnes of fireworks. Any repeat of these shenannegins, which then result in my hens going off lay and you will be held personally responsible.
yours Mrs B. Moon.
Go Bluemoon! 
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