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    My OH and I wanted to go on a journey of archealogical sites. Preferably a cruise. We couldn't find one. Since he died, Terry Wogans TOGS have advertised a TOGS voyage of "The Ancient Wonders of the Mediterranean". Chuffed to bits I booked a place on it. A bit miffed that as a single I don't just pay a single supplement, I pay for two people!!. I'm not taking two plane seats, I'm not eating two lots of meals and I'm not likely to use two beds and two lots of linen.

    I received the details of the cruise today. Nowhere had anything said that excursions were extra (between £50 - £200 a time). I've been on a cuppla cruises before and they were all-in.

    It also seems that I will be locked into the tourist scenario, go round a site and then into a "tourist shopping experience" (aka locked in).

    OK. This is a present to myself, a one off, I will not do it again, and I have the money - but - but, can't I do what I want.

    The edge has gone off my excitement. I wanted to see places I'd been with B and see the bits we missed. I was hoping that, in a way, he would be with me.

    I had a disastrous Xmas & New Year in Spain, I hope I'm not heading for the same on a cruise.

    Oh yes. The children will be looking after the lottie .
    "I prefer rogues to imbeciles as they sometimes take a rest" (Alexander Dumas)
    "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live" (also Alexandre Dumas)
    Oxfordshire

  • #2
    Of course you should do what you want JanieB. It's all part of it, finding a way to live your life as it is now.

    When my OH died, my children were still young. I was lucky enough to meet up with four other women with families, all living in the same town, all widowed within a few months of each other. We all had very different lives and experiences, sharing those and doing things together expanded all our horizons. The general plan was never to say no to any invitation, even if seemed like something you'd hate - because you just never know!

    It can all seem so hard, but you really do need to do what you want, although sometimes finding out what that is can seem the most difficult part! There's no right or wrong way, do whatever seems right to you. Enjoy your cruise, relish new people and new experiences and relax knowing your lottie's in good hands!
    Life is too short for drama & petty things!
    So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Comfreyfan View Post
      Of course you should do what you want JanieB. It's all part of it, finding a way to live your life as it is now.

      The general plan was never to say no to any invitation, even if seemed like something you'd hate - because you just never know!

      It can all seem so hard, but you really do need to do what you want, although sometimes finding out what that is can seem the most difficult part! There's no right or wrong way, do whatever seems right to you. Enjoy your cruise, relish new people and new experiences and relax knowing your lottie's in good hands!
      The main idea was to see the places that B and I had planned to visit, but also to meet new people. I just hadn't realised it might cost me my new kitchen!!
      "I prefer rogues to imbeciles as they sometimes take a rest" (Alexander Dumas)
      "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live" (also Alexandre Dumas)
      Oxfordshire

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      • #4
        I can't advise, Janie, but I hope with all my heart that you have a fabulous time. Are there any places you can visit that AREN'T on the excursions list, but are at the same stops? That way you won't be drawn into the tourist thing. Even if it's just a National Park or secluded beach, I have a gut feeling you'll be happier with that and have more of a sense of 'alone time' with you dear OH, albeit in the spiritual sense. Don't visit somewhere out of 'obligation' to your plans with your OH. I'm sure he'd want to visit new unplanned places, too. xx

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        • #5
          Write to them!, copy your above posting and send it! you never know.

          I do hope you have a lovely time, It sounds a fab trip, shame they have dampened it for you.

          Can you research the places you are stopping at to see what else of interest they have to offer.

          my love to you
          x

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          • #6
            If the excursions cost extra, but the places you want to revisit co-incide with the places the boat stops at, I can't see why you can't just either pre-arrange your own visits via the Net or book something on the day?
            To see a world in a grain of sand
            And a heaven in a wild flower

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            • #7
              I presume its this cruise?

              Cunard: The Most Famous Ocean Liners in the World (sm)

              Sounds great, with lots of excursions to choose from. However the FAQs (on the top menu) say this:
              Can I choose to explore independently at the ports of call?

              Our professional tour staff will be pleased to assist you with local arrangements in various ports of call, whether for one of our exclusive optional shore excursions, a private car and guide, tee- times for golf, or restaurant reservations for a memorable meal ashore. But if you prefer to explore independently that is fine. Taxis are available at most ports, but be sure to negotiate rates before you set off.
              Hope you have a wonderful time.
              Last edited by smallblueplanet; 03-09-2008, 10:48 AM.
              To see a world in a grain of sand
              And a heaven in a wild flower

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              • #8
                If the outings are extra then how can they expect you to definitely go on them. Have never fancied a cruise personally but my MIL goes on many, they're trips are always extra and she choses to go on some and do other things by herself other times. Don't panic, am sure it'll be fine.

                Some of us live in the past, always talking about back then. Some of us live in the future, always planning what we are going to do. And, then there are those, who neither look behind or ahead, but just enjoy the moment of right now.

                Which one are you and is it how you want to be?

                Comment

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