Am I being lazy or a wimp?

I guess if you're reading this, then you decided against it.

In my personal experience it takes a while to fully integrate into a village, but worth it when you do. I'd go along, and hope that people seeing you on a regular basis will help them warm toward you. I guess that's what these groups are for anyway?

I'm not a particularly confident person myself when it comes to group situations and often revert to humour as a kind of security blanket, doesn't always work, but more often than not it's at least an icebreaker.

Go.

Well done on your 100th post by the way, you Sprouter you.

I can see where you're coming from, put me in a room with a load of strangers I am unlikely to talk to anyone. Put me in the room with the same people and my OH, and I will be unlikely to have not talked to everyone.

I guess what I am saying is there anyone you know that will come with you, its surprising how people are attracted to conversation rather than someone who is sat on their own. If you are not a big talker, take someone loud like my missus, she could talk the hind legs of a donkey.

I would give it another chance, sometimes these things need a little time.
Good luck and let you know how you get on!

Oh,dear of you!! People need to know you have a small problem before they can deal with it themselves. Go again and make sure whoever is in charge knows of your hearing problem and can introduce you to everyone.
You may find many new friends for you and Daniel!!
Sometimes you have to make the first move in a place full of strangers,not easy but not impossible!!

Please keep trying - My youngest (4 1/2) isn't allowed to go to playgroup/toddlers anymore and I really miss it! I've been going since my oldest was born and she's nearly nine now. I cried when the leader said that they were so popular that they would have to restrict it to the under 4's - and because youngest's birthday is 3rd of September it has meant a whole year of no toddlers

I think the problem with toddlers can be that you get cliques of people who all know each other from ante-natal classes, who then move on to toddlers and don't want to get to know anyone else. But in my experience it usually doesn't last very long.

Could you explain how you feel to the person running the group - perhaps she could find you a buddy to introduce you to the group? We often did this with new faces, particularly those whose first language wasn't english or who had other communication issues. Failing that, do you have another friend who might also be interested in going - then you could found your own, cooler clique!

Whatever happens, don't give up! Those toddler days are really some of the nicest

Definatly try again when I used to take my grandson i introduced myself to a couple of people and yes sometimes i sat on my own but at the end of the morning we had a sing along with actions the kids loved it it was agreat ice breaker.

That is me, exactly. Shy and half deaf It depends whether I think it's 'worth' it (i.e. if I want to make a serious effort to get on with someone) but I quite often just say up front how things are and say I'd rather someone gave me a nudge if I mishear, rather than them just wandering off slightly embarrased when they've said 'isn't it nice weather?' and I've answered 'oh, about half past two'

I would try going again (maybe you did today?) but don't beat yourself up about it if you really don't get on with it. You could even just go occasionally for Daniel but not so often that it makes you stressed on a regular basis?

do keep going - as is said above people need to know you have an issue before they can help - get in there gal

Yay - I went! I quietly said to myself "oh I think its Mums and Tots today" and as soon Daniel heard those words (from the other side of the room - LOL!) he was off to find his shoes. I think even if I hadnt all the lovely supportive posts from you guys would have g'eed me up to go along even if it was a bit late.

There was a duo of seats next to a lady I have spoken to before so I sat there and although she was mainly chatting to her sister next to her, we did chat a little. A lady came and sat next to me on the other side and again although she was next to her friend we did exchange a few words. Some of the other woman didnt seem to be ignoring me so much so I think you are all right - it is just taking time but I think I am getting there.

I think the hardest thing is having to turn down all the social activities that the Mums all seem to do together because Oliver never knows what time he will be home and its often past 8pm anyway. I was so spoilt for babysitters back down in North London cos I had a huge circle of friends, good neighbours and both families (inlc several brothers and sisters) lived no more than 5 min drive away. Its hard getting used to being so cut off but I wouldnt change it for the world as I love it here (more often than not I really am Fine and Dandy!) and in many ways (although it may not seem like it on here very often) it has made me a strongetr person being away from the "apron strings"

Sorry I have rambled on a bit havent I. Must make sure I go again next week (nagging from you guys is allowed!) as I think it has done me good. Apparently it takes 30 years before you are accepted in the village as a local so I have another 28 to go!

Very proud to now be a spouter - thanks HW for noticing - took ages to get past 50 but have been on here "far too much" the last couple of weeks and now here I am sprouting words like no-ones business!

A happier braver Tammy

Well done! As we say...it just takes time! with hope - not 28 years!!!!

I had the exact same problem when my two were little.

My local church has a mum and tots group which I went to and the girls loved it but I absolutely hated it. I was the youngest mum there being 22 at the time and they were all in their mid thirties which for a start was a bit scarey for me. The first five times I went absolutely nobody spoke to me so I stopped going, both my girls were so upset every Tuesday when I came up with a new excuse why we were not going. Then I got thinking well why did I go in the first place? Personally it was to get me out of the house and to get the girls interacting with other children, the latter being the most important.

Im quite a shy when it comes to meeting new people but I decided if I was going to do the best for my girls and keep going then I was going to make myself talk to the other mums. The next time I went I set the girls off playing then went to buy a cup of tea and headed in the direction of the nearest group. I introduced myself and asked if I could sit with them and explained that I was relatively new to the group and was a bit shy as I didnt know anybody. They all were really friendly and soon we were having a right chuckle.

I think once you get the courage up to break the ice the rest will flow from there.

I have many faults and lots of bad habbits but I'm determined that my weaknesses or fears will never get in the way of my childrens happiness. After all they learn from me.

Hi
I do know how you feel; 11 years ago I moved from a huge circle of friends in Kent to Northants; and if it hadn't been for work colleagues i would never have left the house. When I moved then to Huntingdon - apart from work and college I pretty much didn't leave the house. I did yoga for a while but people do tend to stick to who they know...and very rarely talk to you.

I decided a long time ago not to get worried about it; it's nothing personal and they don't know how wonderful it is to know me - it's not their fault...joking aside it takes a while to get to know people - the onion effect I believe its called. Ironically!

You start off with the outer layer; which is a nod here and there - or a general talk about the weather or the bus being late. Then once you have done that for a while, you might talk a bit about family, telly, but general stuff. the more you know someone the deeper you go. Theres still 'friends' who I would never broach certain subjects with - as we've not gone through the onion to that deep a level. Even though I might have known them for 10 or so years. But I would with others, who I might have only known for months. It all depends on how fast you can peel back those onion layers.

Well done Tammy, I never went to playgroup with ours as I was the working parent. Madmax took them now and again but wasn't keen as he was the only dad there.

Really well done Tammy, I was going to offer loads of words of support but then everything I said seemed silly so I gave up. Good on you for going and, as OH says - I can nag for France and England so, next Thursday then?