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Should I write a book?

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  • Should I write a book?

    OK gardening books have been mentioned quite a few times recently so I though that if ‘they’ could do it so could I.

    Now, I have a few chapters in mind but would appreciate any comments to steer me in the right (is there one as everyone’s growing experience is unique) direction.

    For example -
    So, it’s not big enough get over it.
    Oh a potty grower you are (oh no I sound like Yoda).
    Just do.........
    What do you mean ‘experts’
    Slugs make gook face cream.
    It’s easy to get ..........
    Who actually likes marrows?

    Etc.

    Any suggestions for my soon to bee (excuse the pun) best seller wood(chip) be most appreciated.

    Love
    Lumpy
    X
    I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Thomas A. Edison

    Outreach co-ordinator for the Gnome, Pixie and Fairy groups within the Nutters Club.

  • #2
    "Gardening for Dummies" by Veggiechicken
    .......because you're thinking of putting the kettle on and making a pot of tea perhaps, you old weirdo. (Veggie Chicken - 25/01/18)

    My Youtube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnC..._as=subscriber

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    • #3
      That’s a brilliant idea Kev.
      What more could a reader need than a wise chicken to give them advice on growing something on a window ledge of a 14th floor (it’s where I started off) flat.
      Now Kev what to you know about roots?
      I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Thomas A. Edison

      Outreach co-ordinator for the Gnome, Pixie and Fairy groups within the Nutters Club.

      Comment


      • #4
        The Grapes of Wrath

        Not sure whether that should be about pruning wayward vines or about modding allotment forums while wielding pointy sticks.

        Cor Jets

        A chapter on the history of allotmenteering in the airforce.
        Last edited by Snoop Puss; 21-03-2019, 05:14 PM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Hang on you lot - its Lumpy who wants to write a book - not me.
          I share my pearls of wisdom with you all daily and you don't have to pay for the pleasure.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
            Now Kev what to you know about roots?
            I will bet you he watched the TV series
            it may be a struggle to reach the top, but once your over the hill your problems start.

            Member of the Nutters Club but I think I am just there to make up the numbers

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
              That’s a brilliant idea Kev.
              What more could a reader need than a wise chicken to give them advice
              Now all you need to do is find a wise checken
              it may be a struggle to reach the top, but once your over the hill your problems start.

              Member of the Nutters Club but I think I am just there to make up the numbers

              Comment


              • #8
                Now there’s an idea.....,,

                How to do it with the Beak and Trunk?

                Catchy title isn’t it.

                So military growing - no not in rows or uniform order. Just shove it in and then molly coddle as necessary.

                If you have a pot/container/tin etc the world is your oyster.
                You haven’t lived until you’ve sucked on Basil (homegrown on the windowiets)
                So more chapters -

                Nature don’t fight it understand it.
                Oh my carrot looks like a William so what?
                Reuse,recycle and be gloriously different.
                X
                I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Thomas A. Edison

                Outreach co-ordinator for the Gnome, Pixie and Fairy groups within the Nutters Club.

                Comment


                • #9
                  My book (if there was one) would be -
                  "Bung 'em in Gardening" by the daft chook.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I'd suggest an article on tips about things like checking your knees are clean before going out the front gate.
                    Location....East Midlands.

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                    • #11
                      Sorry. Bren but clean knees are an unknown and spooky concept to me. My trunk is so wonderfully converluted that I’ve not seen my knees for years.
                      Apparently the a certain local likes them though.
                      I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Thomas A. Edison

                      Outreach co-ordinator for the Gnome, Pixie and Fairy groups within the Nutters Club.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Two chapters you may like to add lumpy.
                        1. Why do ****ing nettles hurt so much.
                        2. You're only supposed to blow the bl@@dy doors off !! ( not your head ).
                        (Chilli based chapter, just in case you didn't get the very tenuous link )

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Lumpy View Post
                          Sorry. Bren but clean knees are an unknown and spooky concept to me. My trunk is so wonderfully converluted that I’ve not seen my knees for years..
                          Get a big mirror that's how I can see my knees

                          Originally posted by Small pumpkin View Post
                          Two chapters you may like to add lumpy.
                          1. Why do ****ing nettles hurt so much.)
                          1. Why do stinging nettles hurt so much? You missed out a wee star
                          it may be a struggle to reach the top, but once your over the hill your problems start.

                          Member of the Nutters Club but I think I am just there to make up the numbers

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Nice and Wisley Does It - a chapter on top tips from the RHS

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                            • #15
                              I'm currently reading "Chicken coops for the Soul. A henkeepers story"
                              Wish I could think of a title like that!!

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