My BIL makes MY BLOOD BOIL

Some people are givers and some are takers. I guess he falls into the worng category. I feel for his daughter, but know she will be supported by everyone else and be happier. I hope he wakes up to what he's doing soon or he'll lose the respect of his daughter and never get it back. She will remember who was kind and who wasn't.
Good luck with it all

janeyo

all i can say is what a lovely new years present for your niece ...... it would be lovely if she could get her dad back ........ but being properly in a secure loving family sounds the next best thing ...... maybe it will shock him when he loses the money for his daughter, somehow i doubt it ..... the only important thing is that she is ok xxx

She so doesnt want to go back to living with him, he has two older daughters both in their 30's from his first marriage and one cant be bothered with him the other one sort of tries but as he wasnt there for them either we always knew this would happen at some point. He will be a lonely old man. Me, my sister, my niece and nephew are going to do a stocking for her as well as a bigger present. BIL has 5 brothers and sisters and they think my niece is a spoilt brat, far from it.

Yep..some peeps are sent to try us big style. He will lose out in the end Jackie- so long as your niece knows you are all there for her , things will turn out fine in the end.
She must be so pleased to know you care so much for her- and your sister would give you a cuddle if she could. Well done x

If yoy suspect someone of benefit fraud you can report them anonymously - can't remember the phone number, but it is widely advertised or you can google for it.

He'll definitely be the loser in the end Jackie, and I don't think he sounds worth raising your blood pressure over. Nicos is right, your sister would be so proud of you all and grateful for looking out for her baby. Hope you all have a really good christmas (apart from BIL of course!)

My sister thought I was being hard at the begining when I said I didnt care two hoots for him, but she now relises I was right all along. My sister Annie was the best there ever was why was it her and not him. She so wanted my niece that she was told she would never have, then she lost the first, and terminated the second because the baby was a downs baby and she would have lost it anyway, by the time she had my niece she thought she would burst she was so looking forward to having her, and like us all we hope to be around to see our kids grow up. He is just a b*****d always has been always will be. Dont worry about reporting him !!!!!! say no more.

Your niece is soooo lucky, Jackie. Though I know it doesn't seem like it to you now, just imagine how unbearable her life would be if both sides of her family had been as uncaring as her dad's. Coming from a close family myself I found it really difficult to deal with OH's side who really couldn't care less. I spent years trying to make them give two hoots about our kids before I finally realized that it was pointless and that we were better off without them. Since then (our only contact is a card at Christmas) we've been much happier. I hope everything settles down for your niece soon, how awful for her to lose her mum at such a young age then to have to deal with this.

Just look after your niece, Jackie, and forget about your BIL. There's just no space in a decent brain for people like that.

Good luck with the custody application jackie. It sounds like the right thing to do.

0800 854 440
It's not right that he is spending child benefit money on booze and cigars ... his daughter should be getting that money

As someone who was raised in a not disimiliar fashion to your niece, I would have loved to have had someone like you Jackie to look out for me.
The older she gets the more she will realise who was good and who wasnt in her formative years. Good luck with the custody application. I shouldnt imagine it will be easy, but fight the good fight. Will be worth it in the long run.

Poor kid.
I hope she gets settled soon, and life works out for all of you. She's lucky to have such nice aunties

She visists her dad once a week under protest but only to screw him for some money if she can, sometimes she does, often not. I had another long chat with my sister last night and we are all so angry with him, we have tried and it aint going to happen, not with him anyway. We decided to apply for custody ages ago but felt we needed to wait until after christmas so we dont ruin all our christmas. We have always been a strong supportive family and my sister knew we wouldnt let her daughter suffer, the last thing she said was that she wanted the two of them to live together in peace and harmony. The one thing in his defence is he has never hit her as far as we know anyway. He has always shouted its what all his family do, they dont live anywhere near us and visit once or twice a year for a day but when she went there earlier in the year with her dad they all complained about her. They dont even know her. Last night I sent one of his sister's a text asking for vouchers for her , what I didnt say tho I wanted to was dont send the crap you usually send ie clothes that dont fit, bubble bath /shower gel that she cant use cos she has stress excema. When my sister was alive every year she would tell them what to get and they would get cheap rubbish and loads of it instead. My sister once asked for a cd that she liked of the beach boys and they sent a sound alike version instead.
My niece now calls my sisters house home ( confuses me sometimes ) my sisters OH gets called uncle by her friends and he says when dropping her off anywhere ' right no booze no fags and deffo no sex ' and she cringes and her mates think its really funny.
She is supprisingly very bright very pretty and has gone from wanting to be a wag to being in law. Her dad says she cant go to college or uni. Oh really !!! watch this space cos she so will be going if thats what she wants and she is clever enough to do so.
Her dad only wants my sister to teach her how to peel potatoes, cook, iron etc yes she will learn but not to do it for him, not in a million years.
Thanks for every ones support I can say things here that I cant say to anyone else sometimes not even my sister cos she gets so wound up about it.