Im a failure

**veggiechicken** · 22-06-2019, 03:05 PM

You're not rubbish, cariann, its just all part of the learning curve. GHs are hard enough to keep watered when they're in the garden, not miles away.
If its any consolation the birds have eaten my kale seedlings and most of the soft fruit.
No point getting upset about it, just do things differently next time.

**Guest** · 22-06-2019, 03:21 PM

Would you like me to go take some pics of what real failure is ???

Poo happens but you are not a failure. As for the people in your life being negative and unsupportive there are a few things you can do about that, you might just want to remind them

Anyhoo veggie plot - you have 2 choices get stuck in or my fav this year forget it and go have a cuppa (that would be why mine is so bad

)

**nickdub** · 22-06-2019, 03:23 PM

Bit of a hard learning curve - I doubt its much consolation, but most of us have been somewhere similar in the past.

Couple of things :-

1) you can either try to adapt how much time you spend on the allotment and when, to look after your plants or you can grow stuff which will look after itself for periods if neglected - as I'm a bit of a hit/miss type of character and have long lazy periods, I most grow fruit either on trees or bushes as it will cope with being abandoned when veg won't.

2) gardening is a fascinating hobby and a pleasure, if you are finding it stressful, then I'd suggest something needs to change.

**Nicos** · 22-06-2019, 03:32 PM

A failure?...I certainly don't think so!
I've watched your knowledge and abilities blossom since you first joined us on the Vine.
As the others have said, we all have failures...some of us more than others

Maybe you just need to alter how/what you are growing to suits your lifestyle ....and/or ask a more dependable person next time to help you out?
Oh...and tell your OH he should be proud of your achievements!! ( cos we most certainly are!)

So....wrinkle your nose up at those mocking you and get stuck back in there lass

**rary** · 22-06-2019, 03:33 PM

It a shame that you can't depend on a gardening neighbour to water your plants cariann, but sadly some folk get enjoyment from other people's misfortune and I think you have been unfortunate to meet one like that but thankfully not everyone is like that. As for the watering when I was working12hr. shifts I was faced with the same problem and what I had to do was make a pit in the greenhouse line it with polythene and fill it with pea gravel then top up with water I then sat my plant pots and trays on top of this and they survived for three or four days that way, now this may not be an answer for you but I am quite sure you could work something out that works for you, like rigging up a drip watering system make the suggestion to your OH and ask for their help with the problem, whatever you do there will be an answer to the problem, and it is deffinatly not giving up, so I wish you well with your gardening

**Ms-T** · 22-06-2019, 04:17 PM

No your not a failure, your a learner and we have all been there. And as for your OH i will not say what i think of him.

**Small pumpkin** · 22-06-2019, 04:27 PM

I'm in 100% agreement with Ms-T.

Just let the OH know I'll be round for a word if he makes any more comments like that

**veggiechicken** · 22-06-2019, 04:32 PM

Count me in too! My pointy stick is sharp and ready for action.

**Snadger** · 22-06-2019, 04:33 PM

What can I say, same happened to me .....ONCE!

Someone famous once said "He/she who makes no mistakes, makes nothing"

**bramble** · 22-06-2019, 04:45 PM

Dont give up Carrian...its just a set back..
Look at it as a steep learning curve.
Every one of us has been there at one time or another.
You need support from your OH not criticism.
We are all behind d you.

**lottie dolly** · 22-06-2019, 04:53 PM

You have not failed,you have learned something,could HE not have gone to do watering,i presume he eats what you have grown,a partnership is a 2 way street,with support for one another,plus if he really felt that,a grown up descution would sort it out,huggs to you,DO NOT give up,peeps atomaticaly thought i would when MR had the stroke,no way,as has been said,do things another way,ther are times in life when we need to,breath and reajust,i still got plants not in the ground,so what,my time not anyone elses,your a winner lass,you have a very good work ethic,and the plot is a good place to relax,ignore him,and serve him up a cheap ready made,and your a nice meal from home grown,good luck lass,
Right,so thats a trip for us up to the plot/OH,he will be wanting full body armour not a tin hat,sorry it makes me angry being put down.

**JanieB** · 22-06-2019, 05:41 PM

Don't give up. Last year was a total washout for me as although i grew a few plants successfully, most of them ended up dying in the kitchen as I hadn't planned properly. This year I got a kick up the btm when i was diagnosed with cancer and did nothing at first. Now I realise I am going to live a bit longer I've made a better effort although I had to buy plants in as I'd left it too late to grow my own from seed. Mind you, I've gone for plants that suppliers and garden centres are offloading very cheaply. Some of them looked very sad but have perked up no end with a little TLC.

As the chemo exhausts me I'm looking into irrigation systems, some of them run on solar energy and I'm sure could be fixed up to a water butt with a little ingenuity.
Having done a bit of a google, look into the Irrigatia system.

**Jay-ell** · 22-06-2019, 06:09 PM

You've discovered one way that doesn't work - which is just as important as discovering one that does.

Went down to the plot and had several dead trays of veg. It happens to us all.

My Taunton Deane perennial kale is a perennial stick as the pigeons keep shredding it.

Blackbirds are eating my currants.

Hey ho that's life. It's what you take from it that defines you.

**Snoop Puss** · 22-06-2019, 07:09 PM

So sorry to read your news.

You're not rubbish at gardening: all you did was trust someone who is clearly an unreliable so-and-so. That can happen to anyone, and in any situation.

Bit surprised at your OH, though. Maybe he's upset at seeing you so distressed and thinks it would be for the best, to keep the distress at bay, especially as you've got a new job to cope with too. Trying to take a charitable view of his attitude here... Not easy, mind.

I've thought about giving up on occasions following disasters (destructive hail storms, floods, no water, dogs rampaging through the veg patch, destroying plants and eating crops), but it gives me such pleasure to do that I couldn't.

You've had a setback, but not so great that you need to give everything up. Take a deep breath and take stock. Even if you can't find a solution for this year, like an irrigation system, as Janie suggests, or finding someone more trustworthy to do your watering for you, there's plenty of time between now and next year to put things in place. Meanwhile, focus on what you do have and look for things you can put in to fill in any gaps.

Good luck, Cariann. We'll all be thinking of you and sending you positive vibes and cyber-hugs.

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