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  • Christmas cake

    ...it’s time for this again.....

    Ingredients:
    * 2 cups flour
    * 1 stick butter
    * 1 cup of water
    * 1 tsp baking soda
    * 1 cup of sugar
    * 1 tsp salt
    * 1 cup of brown sugar
    * Lemon juice
    * 4 large eggs
    * Nuts
    * 1 bottle Brandy
    * 2 cups of dried fruit

    Sample the brandy to check quality.
    Take a large bowl, check the brandy again.
    To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
    Repeat.
    Turn on the electric mixer.
    Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar.
    Beat again.
    At this point it's best to make sure the brandy is still OK.
    Try another cup... Just in case.
    Turn off the mixerer thingy.
    Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

    Pick the frigging fruit up off floor.
    Mix on the turner.
    If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
    Sample the brandy to check for tonsisticity.
    Next, sift two cups of salt.
    Or something.
    Check the brandy.
    Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
    Add one table.
    Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink.
    Whatever you can find.
    Greash the oven.
    Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
    Don't forget to beat off the turner.
    Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
    Finish the brandy and wipe counter with the cat.

    Bingle Jells!



    aka
    Suzie

  • #2
    Or go to tessies and get one for £1.86p !!!!!!
    Gardening ..... begins with daybreak
    and ends with backache

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    • #3
      already made mine

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      • #4
        Love it Piskie!!

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        • #5
          Always makes me laugh...thanks for that
          I don't roll on Shabbos

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          • #6
            As I was getting plastered today, bemoaning the fact I hadn't had the chance to make a Christmas cake, I was told that they sold them in the shops .
            Yep, broken wrist this time, wish it had been the brandy, getting over the hangover would prob be quicker.
            I could not live without a garden, it is my place to unwind and recover, to marvel at the power of all growing things, even weeds!
            Now a little Shrinking Violet.

            http://potagerplot.blogspot.com/

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            • #7
              Made ours plus 4 more for pressies - 4 Christmas puds too and a load of mincemeat

              Some of us live in the past, always talking about back then. Some of us live in the future, always planning what we are going to do. And, then there are those, who neither look behind or ahead, but just enjoy the moment of right now.

              Which one are you and is it how you want to be?

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              • #8
                Love the recipe Pisk! My kind of baking...........................
                WPC F Hobbit, Shire police

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                • #9
                  Must remember to buy decent brandy this year - that recipe is hell with cheap stuff hic
                  Happy Gardening,
                  Shirley

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                  • #10
                    Finish the brandy and wipe counter with the cat.

                    but surprised to read there was still some brandy left.
                    Location....East Midlands.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by BarleySugar View Post
                      As I was getting plastered today, bemoaning the fact I hadn't had the chance to make a Christmas cake, I was told that they sold them in the shops .
                      Yep, broken wrist this time, wish it had been the brandy, getting over the hangover would prob be quicker.
                      OH NO, how on earth did you manage that?!
                      Happy Gardening,
                      Shirley

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                      • #12
                        Ha Ha Piskie very funny love it
                        Updated my blog on 13 January

                        http://www.growfruitandveg.co.uk/gra.../blogs/stella/

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Bren In Pots View Post
                          Finish the brandy and wipe counter with the cat.

                          but surprised to read there was still some brandy left.
                          even more surprised that she'd got some nuts to strain........
                          S*d the housework I have a lottie to dig
                          a batch of jam is always an act of creation ..Christine Ferber

                          You can't beat a bit of garden porn

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                          • #14
                            I lurve that!!!

                            BS - What!!!!!!!?
                            All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
                            Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

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                            • #15
                              That really made me laugh! I was just planning to make a giant Danish Pastry that I found a recipe for.....might have to add some brandy.....

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