Kale question

[mothhawk]

Ah, didn't see Jonny's question before I posted this one. Ho hum - got the answer anyway now.

[mothhawk]

Here's some "Overheard in Waitrose" instead of my query.

"Overheard in Waitrose" now has more than 350,000 likes and features some astonishing remarks, uttered by customers apparently unaware of how they sound, sent in every day from visitors to Waitrose branches across Britain.

According to the Facebook page, one couple in the Newark branch, who spotted another customer with an Asda shopping bag, said to each other: "Should she be walking around in here with that?"

Here are our top 10 comments, as featured on the "Overheard in Waitrose" Facebook page:

1. Overheard in Thame Waitrose:

Lady 1: Tara, so sorry I am late. I had to press so many bloody buttons on that cash machine. I can’t understand why £200 isn’t the first option”.

Lady 2: Oh darling I know, I never take out less than a hundred. Why would people bother with a £10 note?

2. Overheard in Swindon Waitrose: “How many picnic hampers do you think we can take on the helicopter?”

3. Overheard in Wilmslow Waitrose: "Don't rummage in the reduced bin, someone from the golf club might see you."

4. Overheard in Fulham Waitrose: “We are struggling to pay £5 000 a term school fees for our six year old, but he couldn’t possibly be exposed to the rabble.”

5. Overheard in Waitrose Salisbury:

A man talking to his friend: “My blow torch broke the other day, so I had to caramelise my Crème Brûlée under the grill. It was a real palaver!”

6. Overheard in Alderley Edge Waitrose: “83p for two satsumas? The robbing dogs.”

7. Overheard in Winchester Waitrose: “Can you point me in the direction of the Quince Jelly?”

8. “My cleaner keeps throwing out flowers before they are completely wilted, I’m going to have to start leaving notes beside them saying not to touch, it’s so inconvenient!”

9. "If I send the children to boarding school, who will muck out the horses?"

10. “Jemima, you’ll have to take the Rosemary off the Focaccia before we feed the ducks, Darling…. They can’t digest it!”

[mothhawk]

Some Dilbert-isms

'Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule'

Finalists from a "Dilbert Quotes" contest, with quotes from real-life Dilbert-type managers:

1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.)

2. "What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)

3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company )

4. "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

5. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

6. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

7. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

8. We recently received a memo from senior management saying: "This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the memo mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)

9. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!" (New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards)