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  • Work for your Dole

    The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday."

    This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the
    British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some
    Liverpudlian youngsters.

    The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on
    how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels
    in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's
    existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds
    worth of high tech equipment.

    It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management
    team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an
    advantage over every other team.

    However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for! At the crew's first
    practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all
    four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had
    re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mercedes team for 8 cases
    of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in
    the shower.
    Its Grand to be Daft...

    https://www.youtube.com/user/beauchief1?feature=mhee

  • #2
    Just out of interest, these were the top ten areas for car crime in December 2014:

    Rank Police Area HQ Population Car crimes Crimes as % of pop
    1 Metropolitan Police Force London 7173541 6452 0.0899
    2 West Midlands Police Birmingham 2587195 2168 0.0838
    3 West Yorkshire Police Leeds 2226709 1745 0.0784
    4 South Yorkshire Police Sheffield 1264929 907 0.0717
    5 Essex Police Chelmsford 1585357 937 0.0616
    6 Merseyside Police Liverpool 1353580 807 0.0596
    7 Greater Manchester Police Manchester 3746600 1908 0.0509
    8 Kent Police Maidstone 1668983 815 0.0488
    9 Avon and Somerset Constabulary Portishead 1474653 680 0.0461
    10 Thames Valley Police Kidlington 2091689 899 0.0430
    My blog: www.grow-veg.uk

    @Grow_Veg_UK

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by arpoet View Post
      The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday."

      This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the
      British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some
      Liverpudlian youngsters.

      The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on
      how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels
      in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's
      existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds
      worth of high tech equipment.

      It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management
      team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an
      advantage over every other team.

      However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for! At the crew's first
      practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all
      four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had
      re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mercedes team for 8 cases
      of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in
      the shower.
      Hope they remembered to remove the bricks............
      My Majesty made for him a garden anew in order
      to present to him vegetables and all beautiful flowers.- Offerings of Thutmose III to Amon-Ra (1500 BCE)

      Diversify & prosper


      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by WilliamD View Post
        Just out of interest, these were the top ten areas for car crime in December 2014:

        Rank Police Area HQ Population Car crimes Crimes as % of pop
        1 Metropolitan Police Force London 7173541 6452 0.0899
        2 West Midlands Police Birmingham 2587195 2168 0.0838
        3 West Yorkshire Police Leeds 2226709 1745 0.0784
        4 South Yorkshire Police Sheffield 1264929 907 0.0717
        5 Essex Police Chelmsford 1585357 937 0.0616
        6 Merseyside Police Liverpool 1353580 807 0.0596
        7 Greater Manchester Police Manchester 3746600 1908 0.0509
        8 Kent Police Maidstone 1668983 815 0.0488
        9 Avon and Somerset Constabulary Portishead 1474653 680 0.0461
        10 Thames Valley Police Kidlington 2091689 899 0.0430
        Yes but why let actual facts get in the way of people having a laugh........

        Some of us live in the past, always talking about back then. Some of us live in the future, always planning what we are going to do. And, then there are those, who neither look behind or ahead, but just enjoy the moment of right now.

        Which one are you and is it how you want to be?

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Alison View Post
          Yes but why let actual facts get in the way of people having a laugh........

          Comedy isn't about truth is it?

          It wasn't the last time I watched Blackadder or Monty Python

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by WilliamD View Post
            Just out of interest, these were the top ten areas for car crime in December 2014:

            Rank Police Area HQ Population Car crimes Crimes as % of pop
            1 Metropolitan Police Force London 7173541 6452 0.0899
            2 West Midlands Police Birmingham 2587195 2168 0.0838
            3 West Yorkshire Police Leeds 2226709 1745 0.0784
            4 South Yorkshire Police Sheffield 1264929 907 0.0717
            5 Essex Police Chelmsford 1585357 937 0.0616
            6 Merseyside Police Liverpool 1353580 807 0.0596
            7 Greater Manchester Police Manchester 3746600 1908 0.0509
            8 Kent Police Maidstone 1668983 815 0.0488
            9 Avon and Somerset Constabulary Portishead 1474653 680 0.0461
            10 Thames Valley Police Kidlington 2091689 899 0.0430
            Or more correctly the top ren areas of REPORTED car crime in the UK
            Last edited by Nicola.P; 22-02-2015, 02:51 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Thelma Sanders View Post
              Comedy isn't about truth is it?

              It wasn't the last time I watched Blackadder or Monty Python
              My OH laughs his socks of at that stuff (even though he's watched it a million times!) ....it doesn't do anything for me.

              Comment


              • #8
                My twelve year old has been wandering around quoting monty python this week...
                " Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries..."

                Apparently it was used in a Manga anime (modern Japanese internet cartoon). I had to show her the original to educate the child

                MP just never gets old!
                http://goneplotterin.blogspot.co.uk/

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Thelma Sanders View Post
                  Comedy isn't about truth is it?

                  It wasn't the last time I watched Blackadder or Monty Python
                  Some of the stuff I find funniest does tend to be observational comedy so it me, yes, much of it is, rather than lazy stereotypes.

                  Some of us live in the past, always talking about back then. Some of us live in the future, always planning what we are going to do. And, then there are those, who neither look behind or ahead, but just enjoy the moment of right now.

                  Which one are you and is it how you want to be?

                  Comment

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