fed up :( don't know what to do

Um... tricky.... are there specific reasons why neither of you will move to t'other place?

Can you compromise and move somewhere in the middle together?

You have to think about what your life would be like if you weren't with him. Would it change drastically? Would you actively "miss" him once the worst of the split was over?

(((HUGS)))

Sounds like it could be a situation where BOTH of you will have to move.

Fair - because you would both be starting anew and neither would be at an advantage location/people-wise. Obviously jobs etc could be an issue - especially in these troubled financial times. Perhaps you could consider starting your own business?

Perhaps there is somewhere midway betwixt the 2 places where you could think about settling - provided that is what both of you want. That way travelling to see friends or they to you would be equal.

There's not much warmth or cuddly comfort embracing the plastic of a telephone receiver. Good luck - I hope it all works out.

I can relate with you a bit on this one Lynda! I was seeing a guy for 7 years was madly in love with him and I know he loved me! Circumstances beyond my control I lost him! As of 3 years ago he permanently moved to Trinidad! With one thing and another we did not part on the best of terms, long story!! We had not spoken to each other in all that time, I thought I was about over him after all this time!

Then back in June he turned up almost out of the blue, like the bad penny! We did meet up he helped me with a few things around the house as he owed me big time! Things got a little heated in the passion department, the sparks were still there for both of us but we knew he could not stay and I can not move there. I would loose my daughter over him if I did! Love can be unkind at times friend! I feel for you. Wishing you good luck, if you can rescue the relationship then go for it girl! Whatever you will still have us grapes!

I'd remove the situation - whatever it took!

A location is purely a location - easy for me to say when I HAVE to move around with the RAF, but bottom line ....it's him or Manchester ...no contest....shall I get some removal quotes for you?

Is your fella in Barrow, Cumbria Lynda? I know that's about 100 miles/2 hours drive but not an impossible commute. As others have suggested, could you meet in the middle?

That said, as I get older, I'm quite a fan of the seperate households but mutual 'love-ins' on weekends and holidays thing. Do you really want his smelly pants on the floor 24/7?

Why can't either of you move? Can't see how a place is more important than a relationship?

arrrr sorry Lynda, what a crappy time...........i hope you get the situation sorted, sorry no advice, i have enough relationship problems of my own!!

I don't have this problem but I certainly hope that things work out for you both. Maybe you can both find a middle way somewhere.

The other week I started a thread entitled 'When to Reply' and received loads of good, sensible advice. However, this one I'm steering well clear of.

Hope everything works out well in the end.

OH and I did the long distance thing for over 4 years, Yorkshire to Devon. We saw each other every other weekend. It worked surprisingly well, but it did take a lot of commitment to put in all that travelling. Then all of a sudden things changed and OH was in a position to move. Situations do change Lynda, but only you know if it's worth it

yup, been there done that for a bloke, ended up homeless and penniless with a 14 year old ..... ended up in a homeless bedsit for 6 months ...... too scared to do that again, for anyone ........ and i also made my son a promise, that i wouldn't move until he's finished uni and got his own place ...... I won't break that promise. plus i don't even like barrow lol ... and he hasn't got a garden, my cats and dog would hate it, and i couldn't have chickens in the back yard.

OH on the other hand owns his own house, and as he's disabled, it has just been adapted for him, and basically moving here would be no good as it's not adapted for him. plus he likes having his mum and sister up the road

i do miss him, i also miss rob, to be honest i think rob leaving home has left me feeling depressed anyway, it's like all of a sudden i'm not his mummy any more. ... he rings me every night, but it's starting to do my head in (it's always when i'm watching something lol..... oh i dunno, when we're together it's fab ....... i think i've just got lonely and need someone here.



that's just it ..... i don't want to move ....... i like it here, and he's a stubborn old b.....d too he really will never move out of that house, unless he wins the lottery, he owns it outright, and he doesn't want a mortgage again.

see now if he lived in trinidad .....

part of it as well is i've always moved around, son has lived in 8 houses since he was born ....... had 4 different schools before he went to high school. i lived all over the country and abroad before i had him and had 18 different addresses., it's been hard for me to get settled anywhere, last time i did that it all went wrong. I've been here for 4 years now ....... and if i'm really honest, it's the first time i've ever really felt at home.

yep it's 2 hours from manchester on the train, he does come to manchester too, but he's worse than me and has to get back for his 'CAT' ........ ok so i don't get up there now, cos of ermmm a dog and 2 cats lol ...... i'm just fed up of not being able to get there cos of one thing or another, hospital/physio/doctors etc appointments, and he's just been diagnosed diabetic, so he's flapping in case anything goes wrong cos he's not at home...... and no i don't wanna live with him really ...... well i kinda do, but i'm not good living with people .... but living up the road would be good so i can have weekends weekly rather than every 2 months

funny, but that made me chuckle thanks

one of the reasons is, i really can't be bothered moving somewhere i don't like, where i don't know anyone, to have to find somewhere to live, to maybe it all go wrong and i'm stuck there.

i've been doing it just over 2 years, i think i've just got to that stage where i want more than i'm getting ...... that's the problem, this situation won't change ..... i can guarantee he won't move, and i can guarantee i won't .... and with everything considered it doesn't look hopeful does it