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Why Drinking is Bad For You

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  • #1

    Why Drinking is Bad For You

    Do you ever have someone 'trigger' a diatribe of information, which to you is most exciting, but to them, is, er, irrelevant?

    I was on a coference Tuesday and Wednesday and Tuesday night saw some Exec type flashing the company credit card and buying us all drinks. Lost the ability to say no and ended up with numerous GnTs (doubles).

    Anyhoo, some bright spark says that humans are the only ones to have sex for pleasure. Big red light flashes in my head and the databanks of all I know about animal sex open. This includes evidence of gay sex in monkeys, horses and cows, stallions masturbating (which led to an in depth explanation of how) and some guy chipped in with an anecdote about girlie monkeys doing norty things.

    Now, even when slightly tipsy, I remember everything I do/say. However, if I didn't, the others were more than happy to talk about it the next day. These are people I'd only met 12 hours earlier and I'm now forever known as 'That Woman who taught us about animal sex'.

    Please tell me I'm not the only one to get carried away like that!

    p.s. for reference, read Jonathan Balcombe's 'Pleasurable Kingdom'.
    Last edited by SlugLobber; 06-11-2008, 11:56 AM.
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  • #2
    LMAO ...... i get like that when i'm drunk too ...... it's amazing what bizarre things you remember when you're drunk innit lol .... ....... mind you i come out with stuff like that when i'm sober ... so nope you're not the only one.

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    • #3
      You're definitely not the only one, but thanks for sharing, that's the best laugh I've had this week
      There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't.

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      • #4
        Nope, you're definitely not alone. I spout the 'biology' stuff too, and my family and friends are sick of hearing about how their food was produced - well you've got to tell them even when it's unpalatable, haven't you? How else do you convert people to grow your own? My favourite though is explaining how to dissect a cockroach when there are roast chestnuts on the go, suddenly I find that there are an awful lot left for me.
        Into each life some rain must fall........but this is getting ridiculous.

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        • #5
          That's genius...

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          • #6
            Explaining about camel droppings when black olives are served - that'd be another!
            Whoever plants a garden believes in the future.

            www.vegheaven.blogspot.com Updated March 9th - Spring

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            • #7
              Whilst eating something with rice for dinner at school, I would always start talking about maggots, then finish everyone else's grub when they were put off! (He he)
              All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
              Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

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              • #8
                By the way sluglobber,

                You're right about horses. There's a pony on our yard who'll roll in the sand then just 'sit' there rocking backwards and forwards with a strange grin on his face as he rubs his 'wotsit' on his hind leg
                All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
                Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

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                • #9
                  alcohol improves your mind
                  this is the beer & buffalo theory.

                  Everyone knows that predators pick off the weakest members of the buffalo herd and as a result the whole herd becomes stronger and fitter as the weak members are culled.
                  We all know that alcohol destroys brain cells ,presumably the weakest least tolerant first so therefore as you drink your brain becomes stronger and fitter.
                  This is why we all think we are so smart after 5-6 pints
                  don't be afraid to innovate and try new things
                  remember.........only the dead fish go with the flow

                  Another certified member of the Nutters club

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Glutton4... View Post
                    By the way sluglobber,

                    You're right about horses. There's a pony on our yard who'll roll in the sand then just 'sit' there rocking backwards and forwards with a strange grin on his face as he rubs his 'wotsit' on his hind leg

                    Your's is actually quite unusual. Normally they slap 'it' against their belly. I told my OH ages ago and he was like, 'Yeah, yeah, shut up woman.' Then one day I got this phone call.

                    'URRRRRGGGHHHH!!! He's doing what you said!! It's disgusting! YEEWWWWW!!! DIRTY B*****D!'

                    Poor lad had wandered down his smallholding and caught his Mum's miniature shettie in the act.

                    Ooops. There I go again! Sorry!

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                    • #11
                      p.s. I almost typed cat instead of act, there. What an interesting typo that would have been!!

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by SlugLobber View Post
                        p.s. I almost typed cat instead of act, there. What an interesting typo that would have been!!
                        Now THAT would have been wiped from the thread/censored, or whatever they do on here.

                        Whilst on the subject, I was grooming my Horse's belly one day, turned my head and got smacked round the ear by it - I pay more attention now!
                        Last edited by Glutton4...; 06-11-2008, 05:14 PM.
                        All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
                        Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

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                        • #13
                          I loved it when the Russians sent a chimpanzee into space, he was strapped down, but managed to get one hand free. One bored monkey in a confined space meant that the pictures from the mission were definitely not pre-watershed.

                          On the subject of horses though, when my daughter was learning to ride it sometimes looked as if some of them had five legs.....but the kids never seemed to notice.
                          Last edited by bluemoon; 06-11-2008, 05:19 PM.
                          Into each life some rain must fall........but this is getting ridiculous.

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                          • #14
                            I once visited a lady who had a parrot that used to rub himself along his perch and make OOH AAH noises. Spent the entire visit paralysed with laughter.
                            Do it! Life's too short

                            http://for-you-dad.blogspot.com/

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