Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Something to make a parent smile!

Collapse

X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Something to make a parent smile!

    BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN


    1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy.
    2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
    3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

    _____________________________________________________
    Preparing for the Birth:

    1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
    2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing.
    3rd baby : You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.


    ________________________________________________
    The Layette :

    1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, colour coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
    2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
    3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
    ______________________________________________________

    Worries:

    1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
    2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
    3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

    ______________________________________________________
    Dummy:

    1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
    2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle..
    3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

    ______________________________________________________
    Nappies:

    1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.
    2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
    3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
    ____________________

    Activities:

    1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
    2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
    3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

    ______________________________________________________
    Going Out:

    1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
    2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached...
    3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

    ______________ ________________________________________
    At Home:

    1st baby : You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
    2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
    3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

    ______________________________________________________
    Swallowing Coins:

    1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
    2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
    3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his pocket money.




    GRANDCHILDREN:
    God's reward for allowing your children to live!
    Last edited by RedThorn; 22-11-2009, 07:17 PM.
    Never test the depth of the water with both feet

    The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory....

    Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

  • #2
    Being the mother of 3, I enjoyed that RT!
    Granny on the Game in Sheffield

    Comment


    • #3
      PMSL it's all so true!
      S*d the housework I have a lottie to dig
      a batch of jam is always an act of creation ..Christine Ferber

      You can't beat a bit of garden porn

      Comment


      • #4
        Another mother of 3 here, it's all very true, especially the dummy bit. What's wrong with wiping it on the shirt?!
        http://want2livethegoodlife.wordpress.com/

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Madhouseof5 View Post
          Another mother of 3 here, it's all very true, especially the dummy bit. What's wrong with wiping it on the shirt?!
          I thought it was suck it & replace??
          The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.
          Brian Clough

          Comment


          • #6
            Like it! Although only having 2 children (so far lol) I seem to have skipped the second one and gone straight to child 3 pmsl

            Comment


            • #7
              Fabulous
              WPC F Hobbit, Shire police

              Comment


              • #8
                Well officially I've only had two but I'm counting OH as one of mine...
                S*d the housework I have a lottie to dig
                a batch of jam is always an act of creation ..Christine Ferber

                You can't beat a bit of garden porn

                Comment


                • #9
                  and the moral of this story, that with time, we all see sense.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by binley100 View Post
                    Well officially I've only had two but I'm counting OH as one of mine...
                    Does OH walk around with a dummy in his mouth???
                    The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.
                    Brian Clough

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      No but he's as bad as the kids for
                      A) never putting things away
                      b)not being able to find anything
                      c)not being able to put the loo roll on the holder(just balance it on top)
                      D)not being able to open the dishwasher

                      Do you get my drift?........
                      S*d the housework I have a lottie to dig
                      a batch of jam is always an act of creation ..Christine Ferber

                      You can't beat a bit of garden porn

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I have often been heard to say to my OH "Ah what's-a-matter, have you spit your dummy out?"
                        Granny on the Game in Sheffield

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Father of three PMSL here It's so true.
                          Last edited by pdblake; 23-11-2009, 09:02 AM.
                          Urban Escape Blog

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I only have 1 but being 3rd of 12, so surrogate mum to a whole heap of siblings I pretty much went in at number 3.
                            So true. Oh and if you continue, the next step is to train the older ones to change the nappies, do the washing etc. etc.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by binley100 View Post
                              No but he's as bad as the kids for
                              A) never putting things away
                              b)not being able to find anything
                              c)not being able to put the loo roll on the holder(just balance it on top)
                              D)not being able to open the dishwasher

                              Do you get my drift?........
                              Don't forget E) putting the dirty washing NEXT to the basket, not in it
                              http://want2livethegoodlife.wordpress.com/

                              Comment

                              Latest Topics

                              Collapse

                              Recent Blog Posts

                              Collapse
                              Working...
                              X