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An Obituary printed in the London Times

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  • An Obituary printed in the London Times

    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

    Knowing when to come in out of the rain



    Why the early bird gets the worm



    Life isn't always fair; - and maybe it was my fault.



    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).



    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.



    It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.



    Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.



    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.



    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.



    Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents Truth and Trust; by his wife Discretion; by his daughter Responsibility and by his son Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:



    I Know My Rights

    I Want It Now

    Someone Else Is To Blame

    I'm a Victim.



    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
    Imagination is everything, it is a preview of what is to become.

  • #2
    I think his Grand Daughter's passed away quietly as well there name's were Respect & Honesty, there is so much truth in what you say L.L, The old saying springs to mind...."The Lunatics Have Taken Over The Asylum".

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    • #3
      How true. Will pass this on. Thanks for posting.
      Excuse me, could we have an eel? You've got eels down your leg.

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      • #4
        Good post, Lainey Lou- but having said that, there is loads of common sense alive and well on the vine! Sometimes even I can summon some up - but usually a bit too late in the proceedings!
        Whooops - now what are the dogs getting up to?

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        • #5
          Thank you for posting
          Never test the depth of the water with both feet

          The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory....

          Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

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          • #6
            I think this has been posted before BUT....................................thanks for the reminder.

            I now know coffee is hot when you purchase it.
            The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.
            Brian Clough

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            • #7
              Brillient
              Will definately share this around!
              Thanks for sharing x

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              • #8
                I've not seen this before. Excellent, thank you for posting it. I shall c&p it (plus Ginger Ninger's post) and send it to a few squillion of my closest chums.
                Last edited by Eco-Chic; 20-01-2010, 10:23 PM. Reason: attribution was wrong
                If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing to excess

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