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  • #1

    Nothing to do with gardening but...

    I know a lot of you out there must be experienced in the art of getting your children to get to sleep & wondered if you'd like to share your wisdom with me.I have 2 children, a girl aged 5 & a boy aged 2.They both sleep in different rooms & go to bed at the same time.My daughter has a story read to her by her dad & my son has a bottle of milk in his cot before dropping off.I know he shouldn't still have a bottle at his age & am working on removing it but he's not ready to give it up yet.I also know he should probably be in a bed at his age but can't afford one at the moment & besides, if he was in a bed he'd be running around the room until he fell asleep on the floor.
    Anyway here's the problem.My son used to finish his milk roll over & go to sleep & that meant I could get on with anything I hadn't had the time for through the day.Lately though he doesn't & that would be ok if he didn't keep calling me & keeping my daughter awake.So I find myself going from one room to the other telling them to be quiet & go to sleep.This can take anything up to an hour & by the time they're both asleep I'm not fit for anything except bed myself.
    As I write I can hear my son calling out still & we started bedtime at 7pm.So, come on everyone; what advice can you offer??
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  • #2
    The only way to do it is to be firm - it hurts (you, not them). Don't keep going back. If they know they will get a visit from you they will keep calling, and believe me they have a lot more staying power than you do. You know they won't come to any harm in their rooms - so say goodnight and mean it. I have four children (all grown up) and six grandchildren so have learnt the hard way!! Good luck

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    • #3
      Yep. They've trained you to respond to calling out. You need to not go back up after you've said goodnight...there'll probably be tears for a while, but hold out.
      All gardeners know better than other gardeners." -- Chinese Proverb.

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      • #4
        Well he's finally quiet though I don't think he's asleep yet.Daughter managed to drop off 20 minutes ago despite the noise.
        Thanks for the advice rustylady, will have to be stronger & not go back in to him in future.

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        • #5
          I used to put a 'spare' drink out for my younger son as he would re-appear on the stairs asking for one. After a week of extra milk it changed to weak juice then water. No excuse to get up. I was a rotten mum! He still gets up saying he is thirsty but now (age 11) he goes to the bathroom and helps himself.
          Happy Gardening,
          Shirley

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          • #6
            Thanks for your advice two sheds. I did try not going back in to him but the racket he makes is so bad I've had the neighbour knock before to see if everythings ok. He's also made himself sick a few times too so I've got no choice but go in to change the cot & him.
            Will keep trying though.

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            • #7
              Ex Foster Mum of 53...Two boys of my own (well grown up now)...I would always make sure everything is quiet before bed...NO TV, no running around, quiet story while they were in laying in bed. If they got out of bed first time...they were put back into bed and told (quietly WITHOUT looking at them) "time for bed now(child's name)"..leave the room...No more words said...if they got up the second time...they were put back to bed...NOTHING SAID.. DON'T LOOK THEM IN THE EYE....LEAVE THE ROOM...
              (Heaven forbid)...If they get out again ,REPEAT step two, until they get the message.......NO WORDS. and Deffo.....NO NEGOTIATING
              "A good gardener always plants 3 seeds - one for the bugs, one for the weather and one for himself.” - Leo Aikman
              Lauren

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              • #8
                Having gone through the living hell stage with my not so horrors - if the little *darling* is making himself sick you have no choice, you must return.

                The problem is that he doesn't know how to fall asleep on his own - you have always been in the room until now.

                However! he is quite old enough to understand barganing. Offer him a deal, say that you will read him one story (a short one!) if he will be quite and go to sleep quickly, read it in the most dull and monotonous tone you can manage, no expression at all. Tell him that he is a big boy and getting stories like his sister! By the time you finish the story he should be fairly doppy from the dull voice and drop off quickly - you can then make a big deal of it in the morning about how good he was, how grown up etc...

                It will take a little time, but in about 3-4 weeks he had got used to falling asleep on his own, and there will be no more problems.

                Good Luck

                Oh, yes - the down side? They wake up early instead!
                The weeks and the years are fine. It's the days I can't cope with!

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                • #9
                  Thanks for the advice TPeers.The mornings are also a problem & always have been.Daughter's always woken up before 6.30am & used to throw herself on me in bed to wake me up.Since my son was born though she's gotten slightly better but he is an early riser too.Round about 6 am he's awake & calling.Won't go back to sleep & can't be left to call as he'll wake the whole street not just the neighbour.

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                  • #10
                    I remember that!
                    The weeks and the years are fine. It's the days I can't cope with!

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                    • #11
                      Oldest is nearly ten, youngest a little over three - we are now past the worst of it!
                      The weeks and the years are fine. It's the days I can't cope with!

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by daineal View Post
                        Thanks for your advice two sheds. I did try not going back in to him but the racket he makes is so bad I've had the neighbour knock before to see if everythings ok. He's also made himself sick a few times too so I've got no choice but go in to change the cot & him.
                        Will keep trying though.
                        I always found telling them I will be there in a minute they would end up droping of in the end. Just leave it longer and longer before going back.
                        Belgrave-allotments.co.uk

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                        • #13
                          Thanks for the advice LaurenGrows.I can't imagine having the patience to look after a total of 53 children it's hard enough with the 2 I've got.And believe me that's it for me, if hubby wants anymore he'll have to look elsewhere!

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                          • #14
                            They are worth it - even when they scream non-stop for six whole long weeks, to the point where all you are crying for is quite - they are worth it.
                            The weeks and the years are fine. It's the days I can't cope with!

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                            • #15
                              Hi Dianeal,
                              Hope things are not so bad at the moment. My (only) son is 21 soon, but i still remember those years VIVIDLY!!!

                              Previous advice sounds about right. Mean what you say and don't give in.

                              Use a monotonous voice for story, drop the volume, until you are reading sotto voce. Slow down the speed as well as the volume and drone on until he gives in. If you can read without much light, possibly get a dimmer switch and lower it gradually (use a story that you know well - kids don't mind repeats). I only read Pooh Bear to mine, both books, over and over and over, from the age of about 6 months until he was at school, and we both loved it.

                              One other suggestion, leave a sealed beaker of water at the end of the cot for finding in the morning (don't tell him it's there otherwise he'll drink it before he sleeps). I would leave a couple of dry biscuits too to keep him quiet for a half hour in the morning.

                              Further tips for when they get older and 'bored' - try 'rapping a story' and playing with words/sounds - It kept me interested and was quite fun, even though Paul thought I was mad.

                              Good luck.

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