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Picture this Family all together, my sister her OH, daughter, son in law, son, 3yr old grandaughter,4 yr old grandson, 13 yr old niece, suddenly 4yr old w says to 13 yr old r ' where's your mummy' everyone went quiet you could hear a pin drop, and everyone is crying. How do you explain to a four year old that his great aunt died over a year ago before he was three, My sister said to him that the angels came and took her to Jesus because she was very poorly. You suddenly realise kids, no matter how young see and hear and wonder more than you think. My sister asked him if he remembered auntie Annie and showed him a photo he said thats not Annie thats Anne, he remembered her. Bless him
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Last edited by jackie j; 07-01-2009, 10:41 PM.Gardening ..... begins with daybreak
and ends with backache
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You're right Jackie. Children do see, and hear and wonder about more than we think.
They are due to have their questions answered.
The best we can do is answer their questions as honestly as we can in words they can understand.
If they can formulate the question, they can understand the answer.
Even if the answer is I don't know - some people believe this and other people believe that.
But in your case it was a hearbreaking and difficult question.
I'm sure you all handled it well.
From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs. -
That is very sad- but very tender.xx"Nicos, Queen of Gooooogle" and... GYO's own Miss Marple
Location....Normandy FranceComment
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Had to help niece of 7 understand that her adored Daddy went to work and was killed in a car crash.
Being honest is best, when she says (still) she misses Daddy, I say - so do I and we talk about how and why we miss Daddy (my lovely young brother-in- law)
Follow the needs of the child as each is different.
This happened just two years ago Jan 3rdLast edited by Headfry; 08-01-2009, 10:21 AM.Comment
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When I worked at a school I attended a course run by the local Hospice about dealing with bereaved children. Most schools will have one or two over time. Children do understand death and worry about things like whether the surviving parent will die and leave them, whether it means they will die soon too. etc. The best thing is to let them talk and not to be afraid of talking about the dead person. For instance, you get children talking about their Mums' favourite chocolates or something, so it's best to inlcude the child, asking them what their Mum used to like, rather than an emarrassed shushing of the other children so as not to upset the bereaved one. The problem often is that we adults are embarrassed by speaking of the dead - children don't have this 'social' fear yet.
I hope everyone got over it and became closer and stronger because of it.Whoever plants a garden believes in the future.
www.vegheaven.blogspot.com Updated March 9th - SpringComment
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Flummery you are so right, young children do see death very differently.Comment
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They take it in their stride, as this little boy doesnt live near any of us and his parents have split up his mum was told what had been said in case he worries that something might happen to his mum. My sister was very honest with him, what surprised us was that it came out of the blue, we talk about my sister all the time, Annie would have said, liked, done so and so. You have to be very honest without frightening kids telling lies doent do any good.Gardening ..... begins with daybreak
and ends with backacheComment
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