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The future of Nursery Rhymes

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  • The future of Nursery Rhymes

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
    The structure of the wall was incorrect
    So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

    It's Raining, It's Pouring.
    Oh s**t, it's Global Warming.

    Jack and Jill went into town
    To fetch some chips and sweeties.
    Jack can't keep his heart rate down
    And Jills got diabetes.

    Mary had a little lamb
    her father shot it dead.
    Now it goes to school with her
    between two chunks of bread.

    Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
    Said Simple Simon to the pie man
    'What have u got there?'
    Said the pie man unto Simon,
    'Pies you d***head!!!'

    Mary had a little lamb
    it ran into a pylon.
    10,000 volts went up its a**e
    and turned its wool to nylon.

    Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
    kissed the girls and made them cry.
    When the boys came out to play
    he kissed them too cause he was gay.

    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill
    And planned to do some kissing.
    Jack made a pass
    and grabbed her a**
    Now two of his teeth are missing.

    Mary had a little lamb
    Its fleece was white and wispy.
    Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
    And now it's black and crispy.

    Mary had a little skirt
    with splits right up the sides
    and everywhere that Mary went
    the boys could see her thighs.
    Mary had another skirt
    'twas split right up the front
    ...But she didn't wear that one often


  • #2
    well we can see what mood you are in this evening
    Vive Le Revolution!!!
    'Lets just stick it in, and see what happens?'
    Cigarette FREE since 07-01-09

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    • #3
      Thanks for those Lynda - I was in need of a bit of cheering up
      Happy Gardening,
      Shirley

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      • #4
        someone just sent it by email ....... he did send me a video that made me laugh lots, but i think i may get banned for putting it on here

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        • #5
          Made me and OH laugh! 4 yr old is laughing too but he doesn't really know why!

          Thanks

          janeyo

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          • #6
            Made me laugh too, thanks
            WPC F Hobbit, Shire police

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            • #7
              Oooohhh bad girl for making me laugh so much, I do have digestion troubles you know.
              Nell

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              • #8
                Originally posted by nelliegemini View Post
                Oooohhh bad girl for making me laugh so much, I do have digestion troubles you know.
                you mean you trump when you giggle??
                Last edited by lynda66; 01-12-2008, 07:09 PM.

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                • #9
                  What are you like
                  Thanks,you made me laugh

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                  • #10
                    Brilliant - that's been a great help. LadyWayne and I were talking about nursery rhymes the other night and how we can't seem to remember the ends to most of them. You've cleared a lot of them up for us.
                    A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

                    BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

                    Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.


                    What would Vedder do?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by lynda66 View Post
                      you mean you trump when you giggle??
                      I have sugested that my moggie doesn't get under the blankets with us
                      Nell

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by HeyWayne View Post
                        Brilliant - that's been a great help. LadyWayne and I were talking about nursery rhymes the other night and how we can't seem to remember the ends to most of them. You've cleared a lot of them up for us.
                        no problem just as you remembered how they should be eh?
                        Originally posted by nelliegemini View Post
                        I have sugested that my moggie doesn't get under the blankets with us
                        if your OH is that bad in bed i suggest a new OH

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by lynda66 View Post
                          no problem just as you remembered how they should be eh?


                          if your OH is that bad in bed i suggest a new OH
                          Well I was very loyal and didn't post on the snoring thread.

                          And I have been a lot bettr this afternoon!
                          Nell

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                          • #14
                            My favourite alternative is

                            Mary had a little lamb
                            She kept it in a bucket
                            Every time the lamb got out
                            The dog would try to ... put it back in again

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by srodders View Post
                              put it back in again
                              me likes that one

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